Nanny gave less than 2 weeks notice after 3 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened to us too with a long time nanny who we gave a ton of notice to about a planned move. It fractured the relationship.

Did you offer her some type of enticement (like a huge bonus) if she stayed until the end?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I know it's hard. I try to give notice to my families, but occasionally it doesn't happen the way everyone would prefer. The worst one was during the pandemic and the boys were fighting all.the.time. and it got to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Asking the parents for help in addressing the problems didn't work. Eventually they took a 3 week trip out of state, as the Delta variant was ramping up and really rampant where they were flying to, and I gave them notice while they were gone. We were part of a nanny share and I had to do what was best for the other kids too---and the other kids were tired of getting beat up and I didn't want to risk covid when they came back. It was close to school starting so it seemed like a decent breakup point.

If I could do it over and differently I might, but this is to say your nanny has her reasons which she may not feel comfortable sharing with you. You said she's been a nanny for 30 years which tells me she's older--she may have some health issues cropping up that she needs to deal with, or maybe she just doesn't have the stamina for toddlers anymore.

I'm sorry that happened, but I hope it all works out OK in the end.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she couldn't stand working for you a minute longer. Might or might not have to do with you & your kids.

If you decided the employment situation wasn't working, how much time would you have given her? Be honest. Why wasn't the contract signed for renewal?

You don't want someone caring for your children who doesn't want to be there, correct?

[Anonymous]

These comments are insane. Most don't even bother to state the obvious, she did a really shitty thing. Why would it be because you're shitty? She obviously is selfish and unprofessional thing. And I agree totally with the comment, we live in an it's all about me society unfortunately. So much so that all these assinine comments blaming her bad behavior on you fail to even realize that she was simply selfish. So sorry this happened to you and especially your kiddos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These comments are insane. Most don't even bother to state the obvious, she did a really shitty thing. Why would it be because you're shitty? She obviously is selfish and unprofessional thing. And I agree totally with the comment, we live in an it's all about me society unfortunately. So much so that all these assinine comments blaming her bad behavior on you fail to even realize that she was simply selfish. So sorry this happened to you and especially your kiddos.

+1

[Anonymous]

I’d remember her lack of courtesy when it comes to final bonus / future recommendations / favors she needs.

Bonus? WTF. This nanny with a basic lack of courtesy and professional deserves no bonus.

[Anonymous]

Something happened or she's tired. She's what 55 or 60?

[Anonymous]

$30 hourly not enough, she found a better position with better comp. Watching 2 kids ages 1&3/4 its very challenging. Good for her; if you as an employer find a better job with better comp plan and benefits you’d def peace out as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny had been with us since our youngest was 4 months old. She cared for him in a share and then cared for him and his new brother. For the last year, she has only had the younger one to watch most of the day while the is at school. She makes $30+/hour.

We stay out or her way and let her do whatever she thinks is best with the boys. She’s a true pro and has been a nanny for more than 30 years.

My spouse and I are stumped - we have been very kind and very generous to her. And our boys are good natured, way going guys. I do most of the nanny-related stuff, and was shocked she would just drop this on us midweek. She claims she’s just ready to do something different. When we asked if she has a new job, she said no. After the second year when she was just with us and not in a share, we did not have her resign a contract. When I expressed disappointment/shock at her giving us such short notice, and pointed out that the contracts we initially signed contemplated 30 days, she commented that she didn’t sign a contract.

Honestly, I was speechless. That she didn’t give me more time to find a good replacement for these little guys that’s she’s cared for really is so very disappointing. It was like she didn’t even care.

I’m so sorry this happened to your kids. At the end of the day she’s not a family member, she’s an employee. She probably has something going on that she doesn’t feel telling her boss and doesn’t mind the bad reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$30 hourly not enough, she found a better position with better comp. Watching 2 kids ages 1&3/4 its very challenging. Good for her; if you as an employer find a better job with better comp plan and benefits you’d def peace out as well.

DP. I personally doubt she’s leaving for another job. She’s older, said it wasn’t for another job, didn’t attempt to renegotiate, etc.

[Anonymous]

Please be fair there are three sides to a story hers, yours and the truth. A nanny with over 30 years experience did not get that far in the business by just quitting jobs and breaching contracts, something happened and you’re not being honest about it. It’s not our business but I really wish you parents would be honest with yourselves before posting it’s like you guys are dedicated to blaming the childcare provider. It’s always them and never you.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she’s been working for 30+ years and is ready to retire? Without more info on why we’re just guessing what happened.

[Anonymous]

Well that sucks OP.

That said, there's not much you can do. And she has jeopardized an important reference (if she cares).

Good luck finding a replacement!

[Anonymous]

I think it is also interesting that the part you call out is that I told her the contract said she was supposed to give 30 days and she said she didn't sign a contract.

Our nanny had a reason (going full time to school), gave us tons of lead time, and I still asked if more money, change in schedule, more classes.... would change her mind. I feel like you focused on the inconvenience for you, not what conditions were causing this. Which is why she is leaving.

That said, it also sucks to lose child care, especially one you like, so I emphasize.

[Anonymous]

How much money was your Christmas bonus? For two kids it should have been at least a thousand and many would give more since she has had the oldest for a number of years.

She is in her 50s. My guess is she is somewhat tired and can pick up an easier job.