SAHM babysitting 5 month old baby. Need advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please quit, if mom is low income the county will pay her for daycare.

Ha ha what bubble are you living in?

[Anonymous]

$30/day is next to nothing, so she’s your charity. Given the overall situation, your husband is right. Tell her you can’t do it.

Her telling you no driving the baby says she’s just taking advantage of you. Give her 2 weeks notice today, and you’re done. Do not take her sob story.

[Anonymous]

So $30/day is definitely underpaid, but it sounds like you are doing this more as a favor than for the money, in the sense that even if she doubled the rate so it’s like an in home daycare (which is the more appropriate comparison for this arrangement than nanny rates for 1:1 care in her house), you wouldn’t be happy since you are still unable to properly care for your own kids.
One solution is to keep doing the favor but talk to your friend about what you need to continue making it work: driving to pick up your kid, babywearing so you can do things around the house, sleep training so the baby at least doesn’t need to be held for naps?
Another solution is to stop doing the favor. Who takes care of the baby on other days? Can the dad or one of her relatives do it? Can she afford a day care? It sounds like your friend came to you for help because she had to go back to work at 6 weeks, and that was a really nice thing you did so she didn’t have to send such a tiny baby to daycare, when the baby probably doesn’t have any immunizations yet and her need for 1:1 attention is greater than what a daycare can provide. But as the baby gets older that is less of an issue, so you could tell your friend this favor is time limited and for the sake of your family, you’ll need to wind things down at 6 months or whatever timeline you feel comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

At this point, I'm just going to take this as a learning experience. I had her all day yesterday and it was chaos. Even when she was crying from being held, she does this screaming yelling thing. I can't even hear the TV so I have to keep subtitles on. I wish I knew how to post a video of what I'm talking about. Some weeks, like this week I watched her 2 days, but back to back so 20 hours. She is never content. Unless I'm holding her abs bouncing her standing up. Her mom is very aware of it now and just thanks me alot. So I only made 60$ for 2 days.

After vacation I'm just going to quit and chop this up to a learning experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point, I'm just going to take this as a learning experience. I had her all day yesterday and it was chaos. Even when she was crying from being held, she does this screaming yelling thing. I can't even hear the TV so I have to keep subtitles on. I wish I knew how to post a video of what I'm talking about. Some weeks, like this week I watched her 2 days, but back to back so 20 hours. She is never content. Unless I'm holding her abs bouncing her standing up. Her mom is very aware of it now and just thanks me alot. So I only made 60$ for 2 days.

After vacation I'm just going to quit and chop this up to a learning experience.

Tell her now so that she can start looking for alternative care.

[Anonymous]

I will def give her atleast 2 weeks to find an alternative

[Anonymous]

She may have reflux or something else. Quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please quit, if mom is low income the county will pay her for daycare.

Ha ha what bubble are you living in?

Most counties have day care vouchers for low income.

[Anonymous]

^^ If she really is down + out, then certainly she can qualify for state vouchers to assist w/any + all childcare needs.

[Anonymous]

What did you decide, OP?

[Bushs1stlady]

Thanks for the help

[Anonymous]

This doesn't sound for real at this point. Regardless of the pregnancy you should have pulled out before or asked for more money. This has nothing to do with your mental health or your unborn child and if your mental health is that fragile, you should not be having a baby.

[Anonymous]

She had money to leave the country but not pay your more?
Also anyone paying me $30 a day doesn't get to dictate me not leaving the house. If this is real she has balls.

[Anonymous]

Oh it is for real. Sadly, I did this for months because I thought of her as a friend. So many people told me to stop doing it because after time, she was making more demands, and she was very particular about everything. I made this post for advice because I haven't been in a situation like this. As for the lady who says if my mental health is that fragile, I should not have a baby. You can kiss my ass. This is my 3rd child, and no my mental heath isn't fragile, I'm on a medication that I can't take during pregnancy, so if you suddenly stop taking it, it can cause adverse effects aka chemical imbalance. Troll.
Anyways, lesson learned, regardless of the reason, I should have stopped watching her long ago, I understand I was grossly underpaid but I was trying to help her, it backfired. Lesson learned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh it is for real. Sadly, I did this for months because I thought of her as a friend. So many people told me to stop doing it because after time, she was making more demands, and she was very particular about everything. I made this post for advice because I haven't been in a situation like this. As for the lady who says if my mental health is that fragile, I should not have a baby. You can kiss my ass. This is my 3rd child, and no my mental heath isn't fragile, I'm on a medication that I can't take during pregnancy, so if you suddenly stop taking it, it can cause adverse effects aka chemical imbalance. Troll.
Anyways, lesson learned, regardless of the reason, I should have stopped watching her long ago, I understand I was grossly underpaid but I was trying to help her, it backfired. Lesson learned.

You are a troll and anyone with common sense would not take medication during pregnancy. If you cannot handle this child, how are you going to handle a 3rd.