Advice needed on moody nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for the advice, I agree with you on getting hubby more involved, it would help me to have his true perspective and yes maybe he would also be really bothered by it and get where I am coming from.

To the person who posted before, Every Sunday I clean up the toys so there is minimal mess. Sometimes there are dishes in the sink but I don't stress myself over that anymore because they are contained. She is really insistent on me making a weekly menu for my child so I take time to do that (admittedly sometimes on Monday morning) but it also baffles me that she doesn't feel comfortable making her meal up after this long, she knows what she eats! To be honest, I don't think it's appropriate to have the house be a fall hazard when a nanny shows up for work Monday nor do I think it's appropriate to leave family clothes/undergarments around but I don't think it's the end of the world for a nanny to help with toy clean up. Weekends with the family are really stressful on working moms and sometimes you're just exhausted by Sunday, especially if you're pregnant.

I also take time to write a daily activity calendar for the week (per her request).

I appreciate all the advice, I'll have a sit down and directly address the mood issue.

Weekends are really stressful on working moms?! OP, you have two adults home on weekends. One weekdays your nanny is alone! It is inappropriate to leave ANYTHING for her to clean up on Monday morning.

Talk to your nanny, of course, but be better.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you tell more about about nanny's snaps? It's not quite clear what you call "snapping", it's hard to imagine an employee snapping at the employer and thinking it was ok.

[Anonymous]

OP, is your nanny prone to being moody when you have left your mess for her to clean up? If so, then you know exactly what the issue is, and you need to clean up after yourself and your child.

[Anonymous]

I can see why your nanny is upset on Monday mornings when you don’t have the courtesy to leave her a clean environment!! If you want respect, respect her. Congratulations on putting your dishes in the sink (eye roll) how about you put them in the dishwasher or wash and put them away???

[Anonymous]

My advice: use the time you’ve been devoting to menu planning and activity calendars (which should be the nanny’s job!) and use it to put away toys and get the dishes washed. It sounds like she is mostly telling you what to do for her (you mention compliance with her requests - you literally used the word comply). What is she bringing to the employment relationship?

And, 100% agree that if husband thinks she’s so great, he can be on the front line of engaging with her on a daily basis (and making menus and activity plans to comply with her requests). See how long that works before he sees the light.

You should NOT have to walk on eggshells around someone who walks into your home (her workplace) moody. It’s not appropriate in a work setting, and that’s what your home is for the nanny.

[Anonymous]

In all honesty here, I would have a talk w/her & choose your words very carefully.
Be diplomatic, but firm and give her an opportunity to change her ways.

I personally think there is no excuse to be snippy w/your bosses, perhaps she is dealing w/something in her life that is overwhelming.
If that is the case -
It would be great for her to share so you will know it really has nothing to do w/you at all.

Obviously, if she doesn’t change her ways immediately then issue her her walking papers stat.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your feedback. I think some posters are confused. What I'm saying is, every Sunday I clean up everything , and yes sometimes a few dishes are left contained in the sink but it's nothing bad. I don't leave our stuff around to be dealt with.
I agree about the husband comments , I think he would lose it if he had to do all the planning and deal with a moody person every week.
I also agree about the eggshells comment, I do feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own house which is not fun.

I will take everyone's advice and have another sit down where I diplomatically address it. I know from the past she does have issues at home but often I do too and I definitely don't bring them to my boss at work otherwise I'd be fired!