What does your nanny do all day with your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who posted about letting my nanny go because of these issues. My husband and I spoke to our nanny twice about this, and she did become more engaged with our baby, but was clearly resentful about it (tone of voice/acting bored when reading to baby, complaining about having to talk to the baby so much, saying that she thought the baby was becoming spoiled by the attention). I think a tiger can't change its stripes. So I would talk to her to give her some fair warning and a chance to change, but I agree with the PP who said that there are babysitter/housekeeper nannies and teacher nannies. It's hard to turn one into another. Giving a child an iPad for an hour a day is a huge red flag. So give her a warning talk to be fair and see how she does, but you may want to prepare to hire someone else. You'll feel better knowing you're getting the care that you want for your child, and your nanny will be free to find a job with older children who don't need as much engagement.

Hi, OP here. Thanks for your response! Which agency did you use to find your nanny? I found mine through care.com but I'm thinking maybe an agency would be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are two kinds of nannies: the first is the nanny who is a teacher and the second is the housekeeper who babysits.

Which one do you have, OP? In different families, I can see a need for either type of nanny.

I decided, before my children were born, that I wanted a teacher/nanny. Nanny has always engaged my children from the time they born. She has projects, classes, lessons, reading time and free play worked into every single day and I give her free-reign. Nanny does the children's laundry, grocery shopping for the children (and sometimes for us), keeps their closets organized and packs away out grown clothing, and has the kids put away their toys before she leaves for the day - but no other household chores.

I think it is important when hiring to decide which kind of nanny you want and not expect that you will get both. There simply are not enough hours in the day.

You’re forgetting the other kind of nanny: the one that doesn’t educate the kids at all, but reads DCUM so feels entitled to do zero housework and charge over $20 an hour. Sees her job as keeping kids alive while she keeps up with her Facebook, and occasionally chauffeuring kids to some expensive activities that the parents must pay for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are two kinds of nannies: the first is the nanny who is a teacher and the second is the housekeeper who babysits.

Which one do you have, OP? In different families, I can see a need for either type of nanny.

I decided, before my children were born, that I wanted a teacher/nanny. Nanny has always engaged my children from the time they born. She has projects, classes, lessons, reading time and free play worked into every single day and I give her free-reign. Nanny does the children's laundry, grocery shopping for the children (and sometimes for us), keeps their closets organized and packs away out grown clothing, and has the kids put away their toys before she leaves for the day - but no other household chores.

I think it is important when hiring to decide which kind of nanny you want and not expect that you will get both. There simply are not enough hours in the day.

You’re forgetting the other kind of nanny: the one that doesn’t educate the kids at all, but reads DCUM so feels entitled to do zero housework and charge over $20 an hour. Sees her job as keeping kids alive while she keeps up with her Facebook, and occasionally chauffeuring kids to some expensive activities that the parents must pay for.

What you are describing is simply a bad nanny. There are people in every occupation who are simply bad at their jobs. If you are the idiot who hired and keeps the bad employee on -that is on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had the same concerns about my nanny and asked here recently, and decided to part ways with her based on the feedback I received. I think nannies are all over the map, and mine was one who had to be reminded to read to the child, never did anything creative, didn't show the child how to play with the music toys or other toys that we had, never made any crafts, etc. You can find someone who will do those things if you interview more carefully next time. I've found a new nanny who does crafts, cooks for the kid (rather than just microwaving leftovers), and is just generally more engaged. If you're even questioning it, then it's not a good sign. When I raised my concerns with the nanny agency I used, they said most people are calling them saying the nanny is so wonderful, they are so grateful for all the nanny teaches the child, etc. The agency said if you don't feel that way about your nanny, you should move on, because people do feel that way after they've found the right match. Best of luck to you!

I am glad you found someone good, PP. I was one of the nannies who advised you to let your first nanny go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who posted about letting my nanny go because of these issues. My husband and I spoke to our nanny twice about this, and she did become more engaged with our baby, but was clearly resentful about it (tone of voice/acting bored when reading to baby, complaining about having to talk to the baby so much, saying that she thought the baby was becoming spoiled by the attention). I think a tiger can't change its stripes. So I would talk to her to give her some fair warning and a chance to change, but I agree with the PP who said that there are babysitter/housekeeper nannies and teacher nannies. It's hard to turn one into another. Giving a child an iPad for an hour a day is a huge red flag. So give her a warning talk to be fair and see how she does, but you may want to prepare to hire someone else. You'll feel better knowing you're getting the care that you want for your child, and your nanny will be free to find a job with older children who don't need as much engagement.

Hi, OP here. Thanks for your response! Which agency did you use to find your nanny? I found mine through care.com but I'm thinking maybe an agency would be better.

I actually don't live in the DC area (I live in a different state), so the agency I used probably wouldn't be helpful to you. It may be worthwhile to start a different thread about using an agency versus care.com. The agency was able to send me, like, 6 resumes at a time, so I was able to see a lot of candidates. I would probably still use an agency if I had to start over, especially if you have something very specific in mind (a nanny who is like a teacher). But you pay about $2000 for the service (in my city, anyway).

[Anonymous]

We have an almost two year old and a nanny. Breakfast at 8:30. Playground or park or neighbor play date if really cold or rainy until 11:30. Dd does duplos/paint with water/stickers while nanny makes lunch. Lunch and nap until 3. If nice then a little more outside and draw with chalk in back yard and she tells dd about the plants and birds etc. then quiet okay and puzzles and books until 4:30/5 when we come home.
Some days they drive to an open gym playtime. There is also play dough and lots of books that the nanny read to her in our native language. One day a week it’s a shorter outside time and they clean the living room and kitchen. Dd has her own mop and helps.
Nanny sings and narrates and engages dd all day. As dd is turning two, they will have a slightly more structured day with times allocated to activities like play dough, painting etc. pretty much to contain the mess. At this stage I want as much time outside and running around as possible with some redoing of books. As long as there is engagement and dd is not left on her own all the time I’m good woh whatever.
Dd knows her colors and big/little and animal sounds and a bunch of my childhood songs already so I’m happy.

[Anonymous]

i was a nanny and now i'm a teacher. the idea that a nanny should be creating lesson plans for your child is way outside of the scope of the job, unless you specifically advertise for that service and are paying her for that (probably $40-$50 per hour). as a teacher i don't cook or clean and i get 90 minutes of time designated throughout each day for planning, as well as a guaranteed 50 minute duty free lunch every day. i get free health care, including dental and vision. if you are willing to provide those things for your nanny, then sure, ask for a lesson plan.
as a nanny, of course we did letters and numbers and things that fall under the umbrella of occupational development. but mostly we just played and i took care of them, because that is the job i was hired for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i was a nanny and now i'm a teacher. the idea that a nanny should be creating lesson plans for your child is way outside of the scope of the job, unless you specifically advertise for that service and are paying her for that (probably $40-$50 per hour). as a teacher i don't cook or clean and i get 90 minutes of time designated throughout each day for planning, as well as a guaranteed 50 minute duty free lunch every day. i get free health care, including dental and vision. if you are willing to provide those things for your nanny, then sure, ask for a lesson plan.
as a nanny, of course we did letters and numbers and things that fall under the umbrella of occupational development. but mostly we just played and i took care of them, because that is the job i was hired for.

A "lesson plan" for a toddler should take you about 20 minutes, max (if you're super slow at it), and could be done at nap time. OP is not expecting a summary of learning goals. She wants the nanny to have more purpose in planning the day. It's more like,
"snack"
"get ready to go out"
"class"
"nap"
"read for 15 minutes, point out letters"
"paint: color names:
"play outside"
"snack"
"read for 15 minutes"
"play with toys"
"get ready for mommy to come home"

[Anonymous]

ok, that's not a lesson plan though. that's a rough outline of the day, and would definitely be bullshit anyway. if the kid wakes up and wants to play with blocks instead of reading, are you going to get into a power struggle with a two year old?that is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ok, that's not a lesson plan though. that's a rough outline of the day, and would definitely be bullshit anyway. if the kid wakes up and wants to play with blocks instead of reading, are you going to get into a power struggle with a two year old?that is ridiculous.

Oh calm down, PP. A rough outline of the day and the art project planned/ready as well as the books you are going to read can constitute a "lesson plan". I am a teacher, too, btw. I love when DC's nanny has planned lessons for the day. Today they are doing the letter W!

[Anonymous]

i'm sure you do! if a parent asked me to do anything for work (on my own time) outside of a nanny job, i would laugh and let them know what my hourly rate for that will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i was a nanny and now i'm a teacher. the idea that a nanny should be creating lesson plans for your child is way outside of the scope of the job, unless you specifically advertise for that service and are paying her for that (probably $40-$50 per hour). as a teacher i don't cook or clean and i get 90 minutes of time designated throughout each day for planning, as well as a guaranteed 50 minute duty free lunch every day. i get free health care, including dental and vision. if you are willing to provide those things for your nanny, then sure, ask for a lesson plan.
as a nanny, of course we did letters and numbers and things that fall under the umbrella of occupational development. but mostly we just played and i took care of them, because that is the job i was hired for.

I guess you found the right job for you; I thought teachers did a lot of planning at home, but it sounds like you get 2 hours and 20 minutes free during the day for lunch and planning. Sweet. Our nanny takes pride in having seasonal craft projects for the children and every week there seems to be a theme. It's not something we require, but I think it allows her to use her creativity and makes the job more than babysitting. Interesting for the kiddos and I'm not too crafty, so it works well in that regard too.