How much does having an au pair cost you, annually?

[Anonymous]

How much is your sanity worth?

Sure, flexibility is great. But matching is a big ordeal and rematch would be too. Are you prepared for the mental costs as well as the financial costs?

I think it's tiring to have someone else living in your house and navigating that relationship.

[Anonymous]

We all have prioritized reasons for why we have AP. The top reason should not be about cost. Some things like sanity is priceless. I am in the program because it is the best way for me to provide language immersion for my kids. Flexibility comes a close second.

I think we put up with the shortcomings of our spouse, our kids, our parents, our in-laws, our siblings etc because they are family and unless we disown them, we are stuck with them through good and bad and accept them with all their flaws. No matter how much we might want to care for another young person and be in the program for all the right reasons, we can choose not to put up with what bugs us about AP and rematch.

[Anonymous]

If you have one or two kids, Daycare is cheaper. I had an AP for when our child was really young and I wanted him to be at home to take naps in his own bed, with a person who loved him and lived with us as a family member. It cost around $24k/year. When he got older and his needs changed (he needed full time preschool) we stopped hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have one or two kids, Daycare is cheaper. I had an AP for when our child was really young and I wanted him to be at home to take naps in his own bed, with a person who loved him and lived with us as a family member. It cost around $24k/year. When he got older and his needs changed (he needed full time preschool) we stopped hosting.

In Arlington ft daycare is about 20k per child (and up) at any decent place.
We started hosting when youngest was 2 as we could not always make pick up in time at daycare; kids liked it better as well and have hosted for 5 years now. We tried to go to a nanny after AP 3 but nanny was less reliable than an AP.

[Anonymous]

24-25.
I think the 30k estimate is extreme.
You have to consider food, utilities, mobile phone, car insurance, family outings, gifts, etc. We do not include them in vacations, but will sometimes have them come for a weekend away to see family.

[Anonymous]

For me, two kids and around 21K. Much cheaper than a full time nanny/ daycare and for us it has been much simpler. Our nanny was great but completely inflexible (despite saying she would be during our interview). Our Au Pair has been fantastic with our kids, an easy roommate and we now have the money to send our older son to pre-school but have the stability of someone at home for any time school is cancelled or he is sick. It has been a big win for our family!

[Anonymous]

Around 24-26$ sounds about right. We've had au pairs for so many years running that I probably won't know the true cost until we're done and can compare. Little things like use of electricity, gas (car & house), extra loads of laundry, extra person when out for dinner, groceries, etc etc are hard to guestimate.

My kids are now older (13 and 10) and we are re-upping for what I think will end up being our last au pair year. I've thought that before, but when it's come down to it, we've opted to continue with the AP for the flexibility and peace of mind. Our au pair also serves as mid-day dog walker, occasional errand-runner, and foreign language tutor/support. If I would hire an afterschool sitter/driver, and also need to hire someone to do these other jobs, it would be cheaper but I think a savings of around maybe 8-10K max.

Our reason for finishing with the program after the next year is less about the $, and more about the dynamic with an older child entering HS and younger child entering MS. One thing I've noticed is that because we have the au pair, there are things the kids can and should be doing to help out around the house that they frequently skate by on because the AP will do it for them (such as laundry, making own lunch, etc). Surprisingly, our older child has no issue with having an AP and is happy to have the company afterschool, etc. I had expected some friction given shrinking age difference between older child and AP but that doesn't seem to be an issue for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Around 24-26$ sounds about right. We've had au pairs for so many years running that I probably won't know the true cost until we're done and can compare. Little things like use of electricity, gas (car & house), extra loads of laundry, extra person when out for dinner, groceries, etc etc are hard to guestimate.

My kids are now older (13 and 10) and we are re-upping for what I think will end up being our last au pair year. I've thought that before, but when it's come down to it, we've opted to continue with the AP for the flexibility and peace of mind. Our au pair also serves as mid-day dog walker, occasional errand-runner, and foreign language tutor/support. If I would hire an afterschool sitter/driver, and also need to hire someone to do these other jobs, it would be cheaper but I think a savings of around maybe 8-10K max.

Our reason for finishing with the program after the next year is less about the $, and more about the dynamic with an older child entering HS and younger child entering MS. One thing I've noticed is that because we have the au pair, there are things the kids can and should be doing to help out around the house that they frequently skate by on because the AP will do it for them (such as laundry, making own lunch, etc). Surprisingly, our older child has no issue with having an AP and is happy to have the company afterschool, etc. I had expected some friction given shrinking age difference between older child and AP but that doesn't seem to be an issue for us.

We have a 9th grader and a 5th grader. I had assumed we would leave the program in June, when our AP left, but at the last minute we signed up for another year. It's going really well, and our 9th grader really enjoys our AP (which is a surprise to me - I also thought she would feel "done" with having an AP). Our AP also speaks German with our daughter who studies German, but otherwise she just makes her a bowl of pasta each afternoon and does her laundry and that's it. DD is a competitive athlete, so she is literally never home - goes straight from school to practice and doesn't get home until after 7pm, at which point she eats quickly and goes up to do HW. So AP and she rarely interact, but DD does enjoy AP when they do have time together. AP is great with our 5th grader (who has ADHD and other LDs), in terms of helping him with HW, helping keep him organized, and taking him to the library and to his speech therapy and OT. We did consider leaving the program, as I mentioned, but by the time I paid someone to help in the mornings (DD practices before school as well as after three days/week, so we need morning help) and then found someone to drive to and from my son's school (an hour away) in the afternoons, an AP was actually not that much more expensive, and it's really nice having the flexibility and stability. As much as I wish we had the spare room back, I would keep an AP until DD was driving...but I think DH is pretty done so this is likely our last year (exactly what I said last year though).

[Anonymous]

Our au pair also serves as mid-day dog walker,

Against program rules

[Anonymous]

Our au pair also serves as mid-day dog walker,

Against program rules

I love how this person invariably shows up with this comment. I always make sure to mention the dog-walking just for fun to see how long it takes to provoke the response !

Our AP during the school year works on average 25-30 hours per week. She has an iPhone provided to her for unlimited use at no charge. A car available for her use - and we pay for gas. We provide lots of extras. We've had 2 APs extend, and almost all of our APs have come back for visits. At Christmas time, we don't buy any cookies or chocolate because of the parade of packages that starts arriving from our former APs. I think they're OK with the mid-day dog walking .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Our au pair also serves as mid-day dog walker,

Against program rules

Our au pair walks the dog as well. We are upfront during match that we expect the au pair to walk with the dog and the kids to/from school and to take the dog out at least once during the day. To us this is just part of being in our family.

[Anonymous]

It is in APIA handbook that AP does not care for the dog.

[Anonymous]

Our au pair walks the dog as well. We are upfront during match that we expect the au pair to walk with the dog and the kids to/from school and to take the dog out at least once during the day. To us this is just part of being in our family.

What is AP wants to be away for the day? Does she have to be home to walk the dog?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Our au pair walks the dog as well. We are upfront during match that we expect the au pair to walk with the dog and the kids to/from school and to take the dog out at least once during the day. To us this is just part of being in our family.

What is AP wants to be away for the day? Does she have to be home to walk the dog?

This hasn't been an issue. AP usually goes to the gym, watches TV, goes out to lunch, takes a nap, etc during the day. We typically use 30 hours or less a week, so AP has a pretty easy schedule compared to most. We usually screen specifically for APs who have dogs and like dogs. I can't think of a single time that AP has been gone all day between school drop off and school pick up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is in APIA handbook that AP does not care for the dog.

I was told by that agency that any hours caring for the dog count against child care hours and that dog walking is a family chore, vs just her duties.

That said, I screen for dog lovers.
My son or I walk the dog in the morning, evening, and before bed. My AP has my kids walk the dog upon arrival home from school.

Only occasionally, do I ask her to walk the dog during the day during her free time. Never been an issue.

On days she will be away all day and the kids are with their dad (aka...no one home during the day), she lets me know and I come home at lunch to walk him or get a dog sitter. On her vacations, I get a dog walker/sitter. NBD.