Charge diagnosed with chronic illness, duties have increased tenfold

[Anonymous]

In your situation a raise is not unreasonable,

The care your charge requires sounds like it could be done by an LPN or RN not saying you can't do it, but they have private duty nurses who do this and they are being paid more than $15 an hour

[Anonymous]

Money issues aside OP you need to be practical. Being a full-time caregiver will burn you out and burn you out quickly. I'm sure you lover your charge and your employers but you have to think about your well being.
You may want to do this job and that's great but don't fool yourself into thinking you are the ONLY one who can do this job.

Make sure you are getting adequate time off.

[Anonymous]

You should be getting compensated AT LEAST $20-25/hr, if not more.

Can they afford to pay you more?

[Anonymous]

I’d wait until the one year mark and then ask for a sit down. Explain th duties are a lot different than any of you originally thought and the rate you quoted was for the original duties you all agreed to, not specialized medical needs. Before that time figure out the lowest end of the rate a nanny should earn for that type of work and let them know that’s what nannies with one year (or whatever) of experience with kids who have specialized needs earn. Then go from there. It’s possible they’ll already plan to raise your rate or it’s possible they’ll end up needing or wanting someone with more specific expertise. In any case go into the meeting knowing what you want and make sure it’s market rate for your particular skill set.

[Anonymous]

If you are exhausted more money will not fix that. Do you want more money or less time looking after this child. Figure that out before you talk to them.

[Anonymous]

You are in an incredibly difficult situation, OP. Neither the parents nor you expected this.

I would ask for a sit down in line with your one year anniversary. Outline how your duties have expanded and be honest about feeling that you are worth more for the added responsibility, work and stress of this unexpected position.

For you, think carefully about what you want. Do you just want a raise? If so then just ask for a substantial raise. Be honest about how you feel. If you want more time off, vacation, etc. be honest about that as well.

Good luck. Please let us know how it turns out.

[Anonymous]

I do not see you as greedy nor selfish OP.

While your heart is invested here, at the end of the day it is still your job and only YOU can know what is best for you.

I would let some of the dust settle first, then approach the parents re: a higher salary.
If your one-yr anniversary is actually coming up soon, then the timing is actually perfect.

Hopefully you + your NF can work out an agreeable rate because I can tell that you really want to stay.
And I am quite sure the feeling is mutual as well!

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I'm a MB with a child with lots of complex medical needs. We got a nanny specifically because our DD can't be in daycare, and she has come home from the hospital several times with various medical needs, including NG tubes, methadone weans, etc. Our nanny is amazing, and goes to work at the hospital when DD is inpatient. She also takes our DD to therapy multiple times a week and gives her medication daily.

When our daughter is admitted, I make sure to give our nanny cash every day not only to cover her extra gas and parking, but snacks and lunch. She usually brings lunch and refuses the extra cash, which I try to push on her anyway. She generally doesn't work her normal hours, as I try to relieve her early and have her come in a bit later than normal. Being hospitalized is stressful, and I'm beyond grateful that she's willing to go to the hospital at all and sit with her!

As to your pay situation, I would ask at 1 year for a raise as others have said. Our nanny knows we are strapped for cash right now, and we give her extra PTO instead of more money, because we simply don't have any extra. Due to job changes and different insurance plans, we've paid over $22,000 out of pocket this calendar year for medical bills.

We are both, however, expecting raises at work soon, and our nanny will be getting a raise then.

I guarantee you that your NF will do *anything* to keep you on staff. We would be lost if our nanny quit, and I actually birrowed $1,000 from my mom to give her as a Christmas bonus. Just talk to the parents and tell them your situation, but be prepared to tell them what you need from them. I'm sure they've thought of the need for a raise too, but just understand that, depending on finances, they may need to pay you in time off or something else instead of money. If our nanny came to us tomorrow and said "I need $5 extra an hour or I'll have to quit", I would be devastated. So please be flexible about what you're asking for, and if it's possible to combine some package of a bit more money with more PTO or help from a regular nurse, then please come prepared with that.

Good luck, and, as a fellow caregiver for a sick child, thank you for all that you are doing for this little girl. I hope her parents thank you every day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are exhausted more money will not fix that. Do you want more money or less time looking after this child. Figure that out before you talk to them.

This! To me it seems like you are starting to suffer from some caregiver burn out. Totally understandable, but more money is not going to change your duties or lighten your load. I do think it's fair for you to ask for a raise , but this isn't a situation of job creep and your family taking advantage of you this is the reality of the job caring for this child.

If it were me, and I am not you I would request more time off so that I could recharge more frequently over more money.

As pp pointed out with their child's medical expenses they may not be able to afford a raise and keep you full time.

Actually going part time might be a great solution some insurances will cover at least in part care by a nurse. They coul have a pediatric RN or LPN come in part time nd have you the rest on the time.

[Anonymous]

OP- I think you should be commended for all that you are doing and for wanting to stay with the family despite all of the added stress and duties. I also think you are perfectly in your right to be paid more and understand how difficult it can be to ask these parents for more money. I think starting the conversation on the 1-year mark (a normal time for a raise) by stressing how you are willing to stay with them and support them would be good. I'm sure they are overwhelmed but will be happy to up your pay once it is brought to their attention.. if it is in their means of course. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

You are a nanny and they need a nurse for which they would be paying a minimum of $30/hr with no other duties! You are being screwed and their financial problems are not your problem. You are going to be burned out and resent the situation very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those are not extra duties for that particular child. That is based on the child's needs.

But they’re extra duties from when I was hired. My pay reflects my duties when I was hired, not my duties now.

No they are not. Kids change as they get older. If it wasn't therapy appointments, it would be activities and play dates. Granted activities are more fun for you but your job grows as the child's needs grow or change and that is part of your job. If you were asked to clean the entire house, do all the families laundry, etc. that would be expanded duties but care of the child, regardless of what it is, is your job.

Like it ir not, special needs cost more money. OP, it is appropriate to ask for a raise. I would probably wait until the 1 year mark, but you don’t have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a special situation, and your one year anniversary is coming up. These are both good reasons to schedule a serious conversation. You should consider what would be ideal for you, and then you and the parents can talk through the possibilities. For example, do you just want a higher rate? Or would you like fewer hours, with maybe another, part time nanny to cover some?

Are there any duties you'd like to eliminate, or change? More PTO?

I think you need to approach this as looking for ways to allow you to stay long term without burn out.

This! You want to stay, family wants you to stay. Approach the conversation from a standpoint of explaining the difference in expectations for a nanny at this point with a family versus where you are now. Explain how stressful it is, how worried you are about burnout (and if you aren't yet, you will be). At the least, you will need either 1 week every 3 months or 2 consecutive weeks every 6 months, and you need to limit yourself to 55 hours or less per week. Chronic illnesses are taxing on everyone, but mostly on the child and primary caregiver. I would also research SN rates in your area. Whether you were trained for SN prior to starting or in the course of your duties, it doesn't matter. This position necessitates someone with special training now. What you could offer to the family is the research on SN rates as compared to your current rate and suggest that splitting the difference would go a long way to balancing with all of the duties you now have which were completely unexpected and not part of the original compensation negotiation. I would also emphasize that they will not be able to hire anyone at the rate you are proposing without giving them the training you've already had.

[Anonymous]

You have an honest and difficult situation with no "bad guys". Both you and the parents did not expect or bargain for this. No advice - but I wish you the best, OP. And prayers for your charge. I love my little charge so much so I understand how attached you must be to your charge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are a nanny and they need a nurse for which they would be paying a minimum of $30/hr with no other duties! You are being screwed and their financial problems are not your problem. You are going to be burned out and resent the situation very quickly.

My NK has nurses who come for in-Home visits. They can come as often as 2 hours a day or as little as twice a week. It depends on her needs at the moment. We can also get respite care, and it has been used.

NF wants someone she knows wel to be with her when they cannot. The nurses and respite caregivers are not always the same people and we all agree it’s best for her to always have someone else with her (be it MB, DB, Grandma or me). I’ve been with her since she was six weeks old so she’s pretty attached and comes to me for comfort more so than she would annurse who comes for a few hours a day.