What makes a good nanny leave?

[Anonymous]

We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many reasons:

~ A feeling of being micro-managed while on the job. Trust me...ALL nannies want autonomy in their duties. All.

~ Feeling like she is getting "Job Creeped." Meaning she is being asked to do certain chores/duties that were not mandated at hire.

~ A dirty and filthy home.

~ Not being paid on time. Or having pay deducted for whatever reason.

~ Strong dislike for the child(ren) she is in charge of. Lack of bonding.

~ Different parenting philosophies between her and her nanny family.

~ Family coming home often later than expected. No bueno.

~ Switching days/hours with little notice.

~ Found a higher paying position, maybe a closer commute or just a much better fit.

~ Discovering hidden cameras in the home and feeling deceived and betrayed. Lack of integrity on the part of the family.

Add to this list constantly changing what they want for the children and then being surprised when the children don't respond well. Complete lack of knowledge of child development and refusal to learn anything blame nanny for every challenging ( normal) behavior.

Lack of appreciation.
A good nanny has options, she won't stay long if any of the above is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

The OP asked about good nannies. The two you hired were not good nannies. All the nannies who have responded gave valid reasons for why a good nanny would leave a position early. Nannies have the right to change careers without your permission. Something tells me we would get a very different story if we heard from your nannies especially the one that left after a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many reasons:

~ A feeling of being micro-managed while on the job. Trust me...ALL nannies want autonomy in their duties. All.

~ Feeling like she is getting "Job Creeped." Meaning she is being asked to do certain chores/duties that were not mandated at hire.

~ A dirty and filthy home.

~ Not being paid on time. Or having pay deducted for whatever reason.

~ Strong dislike for the child(ren) she is in charge of. Lack of bonding.

~ Different parenting philosophies between her and her nanny family.

~ Family coming home often later than expected. No bueno.

~ Switching days/hours with little notice.

~ Found a higher paying position, maybe a closer commute or just a much better fit.

~ Discovering hidden cameras in the home and feeling deceived and betrayed. Lack of integrity on the part of the family.

Add to this list constantly changing what they want for the children and then being surprised when the children don't respond well. Complete lack of knowledge of child development and refusal to learn anything blame nanny for every challenging ( normal) behavior.

Lack of appreciation.
A good nanny has options, she won't stay long if any of the above is true.

Add to this a lack of communication.If you can't be bothered to find 2 minutes of time to speak to the person caring for your child during the day it doesn't bode well for the relationship lasting long term.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

The OP asked about good nannies. The two you hired were not good nannies. All the nannies who have responded gave valid reasons for why a good nanny would leave a position early. Nannies have the right to change careers without your permission. Something tells me we would get a very different story if we heard from your nannies especially the one that left after a week.

You're contradicting yourself. If you say these nannies were not good nannies, why do you believe they would offer a different story (suggesting they are in fact good nannies and we the parents are the problem)?

You make a fair point that OP asked about good nannies, I'd missed that. I guess it depends how you define "good." Our 5-month nanny was a lovely young woman, she just had other long-term goals but declined to share them with us and lied about how long she could commit to being with us. (Nanny candidates always ask us how long we can commit, we share that, and we ask them the same question.) I can understand why she did what she did, she had a months-long gap in employment and needed a job. But OP wanted to know why nannies leave after not a lot of time and I felt our experience might be helpful to her.

OP, I would also strongly urge you to google the names of all references. We have also interviewed two nannies who had faked references, which was unnerving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

The OP asked about good nannies. The two you hired were not good nannies. All the nannies who have responded gave valid reasons for why a good nanny would leave a position early. Nannies have the right to change careers without your permission. Something tells me we would get a very different story if we heard from your nannies especially the one that left after a week.

You're contradicting yourself. If you say these nannies were not good nannies, why do you believe they would offer a different story (suggesting they are in fact good nannies and we the parents are the problem)?

You make a fair point that OP asked about good nannies, I'd missed that. I guess it depends how you define "good." Our 5-month nanny was a lovely young woman, she just had other long-term goals but declined to share them with us and lied about how long she could commit to being with us. (Nanny candidates always ask us how long we can commit, we share that, and we ask them the same question.) I can understand why she did what she did, she had a months-long gap in employment and needed a job. But OP wanted to know why nannies leave after not a lot of time and I felt our experience might be helpful to her.

OP, I would also strongly urge you to google the names of all references. We have also interviewed two nannies who had faked references, which was unnerving.

Maybe at the time she was asked she did believe she could fulfill the time frame she gave. Nannies have lives that change as well. I'm sure you would be raising hell if a nanny poster called her employers liars for deciding to switch to daycare or assume the nanny did something wrong.

I agree with you that there are bad nannies and bad employers, you are one of the bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

The OP asked about good nannies. The two you hired were not good nannies. All the nannies who have responded gave valid reasons for why a good nanny would leave a position early. Nannies have the right to change careers without your permission. Something tells me we would get a very different story if we heard from your nannies especially the one that left after a week.

You're contradicting yourself. If you say these nannies were not good nannies, why do you believe they would offer a different story (suggesting they are in fact good nannies and we the parents are the problem)?

You make a fair point that OP asked about good nannies, I'd missed that. I guess it depends how you define "good." Our 5-month nanny was a lovely young woman, she just had other long-term goals but declined to share them with us and lied about how long she could commit to being with us. (Nanny candidates always ask us how long we can commit, we share that, and we ask them the same question.) I can understand why she did what she did, she had a months-long gap in employment and needed a job. But OP wanted to know why nannies leave after not a lot of time and I felt our experience might be helpful to her.

OP, I would also strongly urge you to google the names of all references. We have also interviewed two nannies who had faked references, which was unnerving.

Add to the list unbelievable levels of arrogance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had four nannies over the years, and two have left quickly (one after 5 months, one after a week). The 6-month one had been applying to graduate programs and didn't tell us, and departed when she was ready to begin school. The one-weeker was, we learned later, secretly applying to other non-nanny jobs even after accepting an offer from us. She ignored our request to please return our keys after she quit with less than 12 hours notice and we had to change our locks. In both cases we paid the hourly rate the nanny asked for.

I think this sort of thing can be difficult to screen for. I would rely heavily on references--we had only one reference for our one-weeker and that should have been a red flag. I would also try to really talk to the nanny during the interview about her priorities, what kind of job she envisions, her longer term goals, her pet peeves about parents, etc.

I certainly agree that it's important to not be a micromanager and give the nanny authority, and of course to pay fairly.

Nannies on this board like to blame parents for everything. There are certainly crappy bosses, but there are crappy employees too.

The OP asked about good nannies. The two you hired were not good nannies. All the nannies who have responded gave valid reasons for why a good nanny would leave a position early. Nannies have the right to change careers without your permission. Something tells me we would get a very different story if we heard from your nannies especially the one that left after a week.

You're contradicting yourself. If you say these nannies were not good nannies, why do you believe they would offer a different story (suggesting they are in fact good nannies and we the parents are the problem)?

You make a fair point that OP asked about good nannies, I'd missed that. I guess it depends how you define "good." Our 5-month nanny was a lovely young woman, she just had other long-term goals but declined to share them with us and lied about how long she could commit to being with us. (Nanny candidates always ask us how long we can commit, we share that, and we ask them the same question.) I can understand why she did what she did, she had a months-long gap in employment and needed a job. But OP wanted to know why nannies leave after not a lot of time and I felt our experience might be helpful to her.

OP, I would also strongly urge you to google the names of all references. We have also interviewed two nannies who had faked references, which was unnerving.

Maybe at the time she was asked she did believe she could fulfill the time frame she gave. Nannies have lives that change as well. I'm sure you would be raising hell if a nanny poster called her employers liars for deciding to switch to daycare or assume the nanny did something wrong.

I agree with you that there are bad nannies and bad employers, you are one of the bad.

How do you get this from what I've written? I'm genuinely curious.

If we told a nanny candidate we promised a year of employment (short of some catastrophe), and we knew full well our kid was on a daycare waiting list and a spot was likely to open up within 6 months, then we are lying to her and she has every right to feel frustrated when we finally come clean (and let her go). Our 5-month nanny joined us in April after she had already applied to and been accepted at the graduate program of her choice, and signed on with them, as she later explained to us. I think it's great that she has goals and pursued them. As I said, it was nonetheless frustrating that she did not come clean when we interviewed her, and instead said she would stay with us for at least a year.

Of course it's our perogative to put our kid in daycare whenever we want, just as it's a nanny's perogative to leave a job whenever she wants for any reason. That's not the point I'm trying to make.

Our current exceptional nanny is pursuing an undergraduate degree while working for us full-time. One of her classes right now is during work hours. We have put our child in two-morning a week daycare and continued to pay our nanny's full salary while she attends school during that time.

I try to treat people in the way I would want to be treated.

[Anonymous]

This has been posted before - sharing again because it is a good discussion.

http://www.nannynetwork.com/library/faq/why-nanny-quit.cfm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been posted before - sharing again because it is a good discussion.

http://www.nannynetwork.com/library/faq/why-nanny-quit.cfm

While I haven't quit over these issues, 10, 8, 7, 6 and 2 are huge for me. For other nannies, 1, 3, 4, and 9 are major issues. I don't know any nannies who can't look at a paystub and figure out what is withheld, so to me 5 is just an advertisement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many reasons:

~ A feeling of being micro-managed while on the job. Trust me...ALL nannies want autonomy in their duties. All.

~ Feeling like she is getting "Job Creeped." Meaning she is being asked to do certain chores/duties that were not mandated at hire.

~ A dirty and filthy home.

~ Not being paid on time. Or having pay deducted for whatever reason.

~ Strong dislike for the child(ren) she is in charge of. Lack of bonding.

~ Different parenting philosophies between her and her nanny family.

~ Family coming home often later than expected. No bueno.

~ Switching days/hours with little notice.

~ Found a higher paying position, maybe a closer commute or just a much better fit.

~ Discovering hidden cameras in the home and feeling deceived and betrayed. Lack of integrity on the part of the family.

Good list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been posted before - sharing again because it is a good discussion.

http://www.nannynetwork.com/library/faq/why-nanny-quit.cfm

While I haven't quit over these issues, 10, 8, 7, 6 and 2 are huge for me. For other nannies, 1, 3, 4, and 9 are major issues. I don't know any nannies who can't look at a paystub and figure out what is withheld, so to me 5 is just an advertisement.

a what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many reasons:

~ A feeling of being micro-managed while on the job. Trust me...ALL nannies want autonomy in their duties. All.

~ Feeling like she is getting "Job Creeped." Meaning she is being asked to do certain chores/duties that were not mandated at hire.

~ A dirty and filthy home.

~ Not being paid on time. Or having pay deducted for whatever reason.

~ Strong dislike for the child(ren) she is in charge of. Lack of bonding.

~ Different parenting philosophies between her and her nanny family.

~ Family coming home often later than expected. No bueno.

~ Switching days/hours with little notice.

~ Found a higher paying position, maybe a closer commute or just a much better fit.

~ Discovering hidden cameras in the home and feeling deceived and betrayed. Lack of integrity on the part of the family.

Add to this list constantly changing what they want for the children and then being surprised when the children don't respond well. Complete lack of knowledge of child development and refusal to learn anything blame nanny for every challenging ( normal) behavior.

Lack of appreciation.
A good nanny has options, she won't stay long if any of the above is true.

+ 1,000,000 One mother we frequently see in the park says she'll resume her career when she can find a nanny like me. She's offered to outdo "whatever" I'm earning now, plus full benefits. I can see she's a good mother. That's important to me.

[Anonymous]

My number one is MICROMANAGING. I always say this is interviews to parents….If you have time to micromanage me then you sure can stay here and watch your kid yourself.

The other issues I always request in interview.
-How much I am worth cause I sure as hell know it
-clean environment…if I come in and you are dirty I will turn down the job
- No pets
-I start with babies 6 months or less (don't want to come take on someone else's mess)
-Length of employment
-No add on (no I am not walking the dog just for today or prepping your dinner)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My number one is MICROMANAGING. I always say this is interviews to parents….If you have time to micromanage me then you sure can stay here and watch your kid yourself.

The other issues I always request in interview.
-How much I am worth cause I sure as hell know it
-clean environment…if I come in and you are dirty I will turn down the job
- No pets
-I start with babies 6 months or less (don't want to come take on someone else's mess)
-Length of employment
-No add on (no I am not walking the dog just for today or prepping your dinner)

FORGOT TO ADD THIS….I DO NOT EVER EVER WORK FOR PARENTS WHO WORK FROM HOME. NO THANK YOU EVEN IF YOU PAY ME A BILLION DOLLARS!!!! I'D RATHER HAVE THE NANNY CAM WATCH ME.