Do you give the base pay or round up to $200

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously every family gives what they can, but I was under the assumption that bonuses were the norm, especially since these girls make such little money and provide such critical support. We pay the $200 via direct deposit and then give $500 for birthday & Christmas and then another $1000 at the start of their travel month. We then do the standard thing as you must in thr suburbs of having an AP car and then covering her gas, she gets a CC loaded with $250/mo for her personal incidentals, so she can buy whatever food she wants above what I buy and gas and whatever personals she needs.

The talk of a $20 monthly bonus for a "stellar" job and a an "exciting" $200 annual bonus quit shocking considering what these you people do for us and how little they are paid.

There is no way you are a HM. If you were, you would not be referring to adult women and men as "these girls."

And HPs as "you people."

Read critically. It's a typo. I was referring to APs. You are just so rattled by my post, your brain is not fully firing. Calm down. It's friday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously every family gives what they can, but I was under the assumption that bonuses were the norm, especially since these girls make such little money and provide such critical support. We pay the $200 via direct deposit and then give $500 for birthday & Christmas and then another $1000 at the start of their travel month. We then do the standard thing as you must in thr suburbs of having an AP car and then covering her gas, she gets a CC loaded with $250/mo for her personal incidentals, so she can buy whatever food she wants above what I buy and gas and whatever personals she needs.

The talk of a $20 monthly bonus for a "stellar" job and a an "exciting" $200 annual bonus quit shocking considering what these you people do for us and how little they are paid.

There is no way you are a HM. If you were, you would not be referring to adult women and men as "these girls."

Sorry to disappoint. My APS have been 18/19yr olds. They are girls to me. They need quite a lot of guidance and support.

I posted about the "girls." Yes, I am absolutely a host mom and I can tell you that my APs are definitely girls. They are 19 year olds who do need a lot of guidance and support. While they do act like adults in lots of ways and have a significant role in running my household, a lot of that is "stepping up" while on duty. And they do a great job of it. I also spend a lot of my effort as a host mom helping them to grow up and think and act as adults in certain situations where they may not have needed to do so prior to becoming an AP. While they are off-duty, its a completely different story! They are (and act like) teenage girls - sleeping late, messy rooms and bathrooms, buying bags of cookies and candy and eating it all in their rooms, going to the mall with their friends, chasing boys, texting incessantly, etc. Sounds like girl behavior to me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously every family gives what they can, but I was under the assumption that bonuses were the norm, especially since these girls make such little money and provide such critical support. We pay the $200 via direct deposit and then give $500 for birthday & Christmas and then another $1000 at the start of their travel month. We then do the standard thing as you must in thr suburbs of having an AP car and then covering her gas, she gets a CC loaded with $250/mo for her personal incidentals, so she can buy whatever food she wants above what I buy and gas and whatever personals she needs.

The talk of a $20 monthly bonus for a "stellar" job and a an "exciting" $200 annual bonus quit shocking considering what these you people do for us and how little they are paid.

There is no way you are a HM. If you were, you would not be referring to adult women and men as "these girls."

Not the PP but 99% of HMs refer to APs as girls.

[Anonymous]

09:31. girls are females inder the age of 16. Why are you hiring someone who needs "quite a lot of guidance and support"to care for your children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're expecting our first au pair soon.

We're going to be doing an automatic transfer into a bank account so it certainly isn't like I'm looking for quarters, but... do folks pay the base or round up to $200.

Base pay via direct deposit. However, I am one of those who provides a cell phone with data plan, unlimited talk and text, so I feel like this is a pretty significant perk. I also share cars with AP and am pretty liberal with the gas in that she has my credit card to fill up the car and even though the AP is supposed to contribute her own gas money each week, we are on the honor system and I am quite sure that I am subsidizing AP's personal transit. There is a nice discussion of this on au pair mom. Some people on that forum take the $5 or so a week that it would take to get to $200 and use it to buy a $20 gift card each month to give to the AP when her performance is stellar.

I thought these "perks" were normal? My AP has a cc I've given her and ALL her gas goes on that, plus ANY food she wants to buy outside of expensive restaurants and paying for her friends. She also has her own car. $20 for "stellar" performance?! How generous.

Maybe the perks are normal in your circle. But get out of your bubble. This program exists across the USA and there are very different kinds of host families with very different economic situations, expectations and viewpoints on how the whole thing should work. We are a military family and fortunately for us, we have good civilian jobs, but I know that in some military towns in the US, APs are common to cover for parents who deploy (not as the sole caregiver, but so that the remaining parent at home does not have to live alone). Can those families afford all of the perks that some families in wealthy areas in and around Washington give? No. Do their APs have a wonderful experience in the US and enjoy their time with the host family? I bet they do!

[Anonymous]

We are a 1 car family but really try to make it work for everyone. I was worried that we would be seen as a less than desirable HF because we don't have a car to hand over for exclusive AP use, but now that our AP is here with us and made some friends, it turns out that our AP has the most consistent car access of any of her friends! I'm really surprised by that, but to me that just says that obviously there's selection bias in who searches out and posts on this board. Those of us here are interested in being good hosts - so what I'm reading here as the norm is a higher bar than what's being offered out there in the cluster.

As it relates to this thread, I understand that the vast majority of hosts pay the stipend as dictated by the State Dept. The fact that several here report rounding up + large bonuses is nice, but I wouldn't take that as the norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are a 1 car family but really try to make it work for everyone. I was worried that we would be seen as a less than desirable HF because we don't have a car to hand over for exclusive AP use, but now that our AP is here with us and made some friends, it turns out that our AP has the most consistent car access of any of her friends! I'm really surprised by that, but to me that just says that obviously there's selection bias in who searches out and posts on this board. Those of us here are interested in being good hosts - so what I'm reading here as the norm is a higher bar than what's being offered out there in the cluster.

As it relates to this thread, I understand that the vast majority of hosts pay the stipend as dictated by the State Dept. The fact that several here report rounding up + large bonuses is nice, but I wouldn't take that as the norm.

Thank you so much for posting this! My AP is about to leave for her travel month and I started feeling guilty that I am not giving her $1000 to travel with. It seems kind of crazy to me given all of the travel she's already gotten to do with us, extra time off she's gotten, etc. Now I feel better....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously every family gives what they can, but I was under the assumption that bonuses were the norm, especially since these girls make such little money and provide such critical support. We pay the $200 via direct deposit and then give $500 for birthday & Christmas and then another $1000 at the start of their travel month. We then do the standard thing as you must in thr suburbs of having an AP car and then covering her gas, she gets a CC loaded with $250/mo for her personal incidentals, so she can buy whatever food she wants above what I buy and gas and whatever personals she needs.

The talk of a $20 monthly bonus for a "stellar" job and a an "exciting" $200 annual bonus quit shocking considering what these you people do for us and how little they are paid.

There is no way you are a HM. If you were, you would not be referring to adult women and men as "these girls."

Sorry to disappoint. My APS have been 18/19yr olds. They are girls to me. They need quite a lot of guidance and support.

I posted about the "girls." Yes, I am absolutely a host mom and I can tell you that my APs are definitely girls. They are 19 year olds who do need a lot of guidance and support. While they do act like adults in lots of ways and have a significant role in running my household, a lot of that is "stepping up" while on duty. And they do a great job of it. I also spend a lot of my effort as a host mom helping them to grow up and think and act as adults in certain situations where they may not have needed to do so prior to becoming an AP. While they are off-duty, its a completely different story! They are (and act like) teenage girls - sleeping late, messy rooms and bathrooms, buying bags of cookies and candy and eating it all in their rooms, going to the mall with their friends, chasing boys, texting incessantly, etc. Sounds like girl behavior to me!

Wow, it sounds to me like you're not doing a very good job of screening and interviewing your AP candidates. None of my APs has been like you describe -- yes, they've been under 20, but way, way more responsible and certainly not bingeing on sweets, leaving their rooms or bathrooms a giant mess, or chasing boys.

I am in the camp of the exact amount gets automatically transferred. This is not a living wage and doesn't have to be because APs are getting all room and board covered. We also give our AP an iPhone with unlimited calling/texting, free use of the car and subsidized gas, she's working way fewer than 45 hours a week, and we take her with us all the time on trips, out to dinner, and to the movies. We spend plenty more than the extra $5 a week on her and I am not going to feel a minute's guilt over not rounding up. Hell, my organization doesn't round up my biweekly paychecks, as nice as that would be for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously every family gives what they can, but I was under the assumption that bonuses were the norm, especially since these girls make such little money and provide such critical support. We pay the $200 via direct deposit and then give $500 for birthday & Christmas and then another $1000 at the start of their travel month. We then do the standard thing as you must in thr suburbs of having an AP car and then covering her gas, she gets a CC loaded with $250/mo for her personal incidentals, so she can buy whatever food she wants above what I buy and gas and whatever personals she needs.

The talk of a $20 monthly bonus for a "stellar" job and a an "exciting" $200 annual bonus quit shocking considering what these you people do for us and how little they are paid.

There is no way you are a HM. If you were, you would not be referring to adult women and men as "these girls."

Sorry to disappoint. My APS have been 18/19yr olds. They are girls to me. They need quite a lot of guidance and support.

I posted about the "girls." Yes, I am absolutely a host mom and I can tell you that my APs are definitely girls. They are 19 year olds who do need a lot of guidance and support. While they do act like adults in lots of ways and have a significant role in running my household, a lot of that is "stepping up" while on duty. And they do a great job of it. I also spend a lot of my effort as a host mom helping them to grow up and think and act as adults in certain situations where they may not have needed to do so prior to becoming an AP. While they are off-duty, its a completely different story! They are (and act like) teenage girls - sleeping late, messy rooms and bathrooms, buying bags of cookies and candy and eating it all in their rooms, going to the mall with their friends, chasing boys, texting incessantly, etc. Sounds like girl behavior to me!

Wow, it sounds to me like you're not doing a very good job of screening and interviewing your AP candidates. None of my APs has been like you describe -- yes, they've been under 20, but way, way more responsible and certainly not bingeing on sweets, leaving their rooms or bathrooms a giant mess, or chasing boys.

I am in the camp of the exact amount gets automatically transferred. This is not a living wage and doesn't have to be because APs are getting all room and board covered. We also give our AP an iPhone with unlimited calling/texting, free use of the car and subsidized gas, she's working way fewer than 45 hours a week, and we take her with us all the time on trips, out to dinner, and to the movies. We spend plenty more than the extra $5 a week on her and I am not going to feel a minute's guilt over not rounding up. Hell, my organization doesn't round up my biweekly paychecks, as nice as that would be for me.

You have quite the unique experience, sounds a fantastical.

As a 9 time HM who has hosted 8 girls, I completely agree that they need a lot of guidance.

Spend some time in AuPair mom when you return to planet earth.

[Anonymous]

I add gas money to the stipend, but if I were just paying the stipend, I pay $200.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You have quite the unique experience, sounds a fantastical.

As a 9 time HM who has hosted 8 girls, I completely agree that they need a lot of guidance.

Spend some time in AuPair mom when you return to planet earth.

Thanks, I already live on planet earth. In fact Au Pair Mom and the advice there on finding and interviewing good au pairs is how I've been able to screen for and find great APs who are young but not immature.

[Anonymous]

So you pay $200 per month stipend plus $250 per month incidentals, plus gas and providing her with her own car, plus a cell phone, plus $2,000 in bonuses during the year, plus $8,000 agency fee and $500 toward classes plus housing and feeding your 18/19yo au pairs? And have done all this with every one of them?

So it costs you about $35-40k plus living with what you refer to as a sloppy teenager a year for a 19 year old to watch your kids? A 19yo who you refer to as a girl that needs a ton of direction. That is absolutely nuts and totally dissimilar to anyone I know's experience with the au pair program - and I've been hosting for ten years.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, $200 per week obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you pay $200 per month stipend plus $250 per month incidentals, plus gas and providing her with her own car, plus a cell phone, plus $2,000 in bonuses during the year, plus $8,000 agency fee and $500 toward classes plus housing and feeding your 18/19yo au pairs? And have done all this with every one of them?

So it costs you about $35-40k plus living with what you refer to as a sloppy teenager a year for a 19 year old to watch your kids? A 19yo who you refer to as a girl that needs a ton of direction. That is absolutely nuts and totally dissimilar to anyone I know's experience with the au pair program - and I've been hosting for ten years.

Hi - just to clarify, I am the one who wrote the sloppy teenager/ APs are girls comments. I am also the one who said I do not round up as I feel that by providing a data plan and subsidizing AP's personal gas money, in addition to all of the little extras that I do throughout the year like accomodate her vacation requests, extra time off, and family visits to our home, is ENOUGH. It was someone else who was slamming me by talking about all of the incredible bonuses that she gives to her "adult" au pairs. We are two entirely different posters, with very different experiences with this program

[Anonymous]

I do not round up , and my experience is much more in the "sloppy boy-chasing teenager" who steps up their game during work time vs. the "mature adult women" camp. Hoping to turn that around for AP3