Mb doesn't want me to have any downtime?

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:"MB, I wanted to speak with you about the decision you made to have 6yo no longer take quiet time in her room. As you know, I try to focus my attention on your kids when they are physically with me. That means I have been cleaning the kitchen while they both rest. I have also been taking about 30 minutes during rest time to eat my lunch and relax briefly, I have found in all my past jobs that a short break helps me stay cheerful and focused during my 11+ hour days.

I would like to have 6yo continue to have solo play time in the XXX room while I do chores and take my own short rest time. Then 6yo and I can work on school skills until 4yo wakes up and we have snack time. What do you think of that plan?"

And if/when she rejects that plan, ask her how she would like to manage your need for 30 minutes to rest and eat and recharge. If her answer is that you just have to deal with not getting a break, start looking for a new job asap.

Thank you, sounds perfect. This is how i will present this to her. Sounds extremely professional and rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 4 year old nap?

Lol yes I wondered the same thing before i met him. His mother insisted. I actually still have to wake him up. Without his nap he is quite a handful. Im thinking when he starts half day school in the fall i will lay him down a little later everyday and get him up at the same time until it has shortened to more of a cat nap. Ive also been trying to get MB to sign him up for some afternoon activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op your mb seems to be a control freak. If you know how to handle that sort of personality I'd stick with if the pay is good and she is respectful towards you. But if things like that cause uneasiness for you I'd talk to her and reassure her of the reason she hired you in the first place. Also yes you need some sort of down time. The kids may need to play separately for a while before rest time so that they won't fight. That way you still get a moment to eat etc then segue into rest time for your younger charge

She is bit of a control freak. Her best friend came to town for a week with her kids and MB still had to work. The entire time she was texting us and trying to suggest what we should do with our time. I have just been rolling with it so far because she is a very sweet and generous woman but i worry now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are really a teacher and highly skilled, start looking for a new job. Your MB sounds super high maintenance and unreasonable, and I say this as an MB.

In the mean time, also tell her you can't do certain things.

I'm starting back to school in a masters program in the fall and was a nanny on and off during during college and until I found a teaching job. When i was teaching before my days rarely ended when i left my class and i struggled with lesson plans, grading etc. So I decided to go back to nannying until I'm done. All of the other teaching jobs at daycares etc pay 3 times less than i make now unfortunately.

Thank you for your response and perspective. I needed it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the hell out of there. Pronto.

This is what I was afraid of hearing. My gut is telling me it may always be something if not this

[Anonymous]

She is trying to stretch her dollar here and get her money's worth. Tenfold.

Shame on her. As a parent, I would want my children in the care of a nanny who is well-rested and not burned out to the max.

My primary focus would be on my children and I would advocate for them to get the best optimal care as possible.

I think you should bring up this issue NOW vs. keeping your feelings to yourself. If you discuss it now with her, perhaps she can change her mind. If you sweep it under the rug, trust me, it will cause you to be angry, bitter and very resentful and that is not in anyone's best interest here.

If your MomBoss still demands you work eleven hours straight, then you need to leave her and tell her to go hire a robot.

[Anonymous]

Just want to offer another perspective that if you generally find her to be sweet and generous, albeit a control freak, then you should at least give her a chance. Have an honest conversation with her about the challenges of an 11 hour day, and your suggestions/plan for handling that in a way that 1) honors her wishes, 2) makes sense for the temperament and ages of the kids, and 3) makes it possible for you to happily manage a long day.

Frame all of your suggestions in support of those three things and see if she's receptive.

If not, then start looking. But give her a chance first.

- MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a little shocked by this issue and the ages of the kids. Surely a 4 and a 6 year old can play nicely by themselves for a while - allowing you to do laundry or even read a magazine. Do they not play by themselves a lot?

They can as long as they are in a good mood but usually only for about 10 minutes before they fight so I stay with them to mediate and facilitate board games etc. that's why it's been hard to simply clean up alone because they literally fight all the time but are angels when I have them separately which is rare. They've been together a lot due to summer and annoy one another a lot.

I hope you're well-paid to put up with all of this. Are you?

[Anonymous]

A 6 year old is too old to have quiet time in the afternoon. That's for kids who have outgrown the nap but still get a bit tired. She shouldn't have to regress her development so you can get downtime. Moms deal with this just fine. A six year old is pretty independent. What is your problem? Do your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 4 year old nap?

+1000

Also, a 4 year old should not be napping. That is really odd.

I am thinking the MB wants the 4 year old nap so the 6 year old can get some individual attention on academics, not so you can "rest" during a paid work time.

[Anonymous]

You are expected to get your downtime when you get off work at 6:45. Be thankful you have that. SAH moms go through this 24 hours a day.

I know it is a long day, but this is what caretakers (nannies and mothers) do. If you don't think it is fair, then honestly think about another profession.

[Anonymous]

I cannot fathom why you can't clean up and have a sane day when the kids are 4 and 6. At that age, they are pretty independent and should have plenty of time to each your lunch and do clean up, if you are a decent nanny.

It makes me think you don't know how to handle the children.

My charges are 2 and 4 and I still get my lunch, coffee and cleanup time in.

[Anonymous]

Poop in her shoe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does a 4 year old nap?

+1000

Also, a 4 year old should not be napping. That is really odd.

I am thinking the MB wants the 4 year old nap so the 6 year old can get some individual attention on academics, not so you can "rest" during a paid work time.

Op here I don't agree with a 4 year old napping at all. Like I said previously it's not my idea and I found it strange that they BOTH still napped a few months ago when I started. The 4 year old acts up ridiculously throughout the day if he doesn't rest. I've been trying to wing him off. This is not my idea for him to nap and not the point of this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot fathom why you can't clean up and have a sane day when the kids are 4 and 6. At that age, they are pretty independent and should have plenty of time to each your lunch and do clean up, if you are a decent nanny.

It makes me think you don't know how to handle the children.

My charges are 2 and 4 and I still get my lunch, coffee and cleanup time in.

I can't fathom why you think I don't have a "sane" day. I get my time in as long as the 6 year old is allowed to play quietly separately from me for a few minutes. Otherwise she literally follows me around saying "look at this" etc and I have to constantly remind her to play quietly for a minute while I do XYZ. As long as she is in the playroom right off the kitchen or in her room, this doesn't happen. My issue was the mb specifically wanting me to have her with me the entire day and work with her on tutoring during the entire time. Learn to read. Thanks