Please help me reframe my relationship with my MB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look for precipitating events, OP. My MB is always the bitchiest and most critical after her DC has done something for the first time with me or asked for me or was overly affectionate with me in front of MB. It is insecurity and nothing more.

It is also immaturity and jealousy. If she wants to experience the "firsts." she should stay home and take care of her child.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing you can do about your MB's demeanor. "What is without remedy should be without regard". Don't give her crap a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can do about your MB's demeanor. "What is without remedy should be without regard". Don't give her crap a second thought.

When your boss is mean, it is hard to overlook
Not the OP.

However, I like your comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that you did not become a nanny to work with parents - you became a nanny to work with children. As long as you are cool with your relationship with your charge that is all that really matters.

I have never left a nanny job because of the child, but have often left because of the parents. After a certain point, enough is enough.

Nannies need to take care of themselves too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can do about your MB's demeanor. "What is without remedy should be without regard". Don't give her crap a second thought.

I love this quote, PP - thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much do you need to see this pathetic woman?

OP here. I see her every morning for about 30 minutes (on average). There are times when she has said something that makes me steam for the entire day even if I correct her and speak up for myself.

I just want to see her short-comings in a different light so that I don't have those days where I steam all day.

Think of *her* as another nanny's awful charge that you must endure briefly each day at the playground. Seriously, this is how I think of awful coworkers - as children, behaving the way they do because they are not fully functional, empathetic adults. Good luck, I would find this hard too!

[Anonymous]

I am am MB and my boss at work is much as you described yours, OP. Some people should never attempt to manage people and your MB sounds like one of those people.

Anyway, I deal with my boss by never allowing her crap to get to me. When she says something rude I just smile or even laugh. I also tell her what I have done well (ie "Well that client meeting went great - I am so glad I stayed up and got the research done" - at which point she has to at least grunt an agreement).

Good luck, OP, and thank you for posting. It was a great reminder for me... when I got home this afternoon I thanked our lovely nanny and told her how much I appreciate her work with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing you can do about your MB's demeanor. "What is without remedy should be without regard". Don't give her crap a second thought.

I love this quote, PP - thank you!

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am am MB and my boss at work is much as you described yours, OP. Some people should never attempt to manage people and your MB sounds like one of those people.

Anyway, I deal with my boss by never allowing her crap to get to me. When she says something rude I just smile or even laugh. I also tell her what I have done well (ie "Well that client meeting went great - I am so glad I stayed up and got the research done" - at which point she has to at least grunt an agreement).

Good luck, OP, and thank you for posting. It was a great reminder for me... when I got home this afternoon I thanked our lovely nanny and told her how much I appreciate her work with the kids.

Best post of the day. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am am MB and my boss at work is much as you described yours, OP. Some people should never attempt to manage people and your MB sounds like one of those people.

Anyway, I deal with my boss by never allowing her crap to get to me. When she says something rude I just smile or even laugh. I also tell her what I have done well (ie "Well that client meeting went great - I am so glad I stayed up and got the research done" - at which point she has to at least grunt an agreement).

Good luck, OP, and thank you for posting. It was a great reminder for me... when I got home this afternoon I thanked our lovely nanny and told her how much I appreciate her work with the kids.

Best post of the day. Thank you.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am am MB and my boss at work is much as you described yours, OP. Some people should never attempt to manage people and your MB sounds like one of those people.

Anyway, I deal with my boss by never allowing her crap to get to me. When she says something rude I just smile or even laugh. I also tell her what I have done well (ie "Well that client meeting went great - I am so glad I stayed up and got the research done" - at which point she has to at least grunt an agreement).

Good luck, OP, and thank you for posting. It was a great reminder for me... when I got home this afternoon I thanked our lovely nanny and told her how much I appreciate her work with the kids.

An MB we all would love!

[Anonymous]

My MB has a difficult personality as well, OP. I do let her get away with a lot of stupid things but draw a fast line when she even intimates that I am not doing my job. I quickly counter her with a brisk, "what should I have done differently in the given circumstances?" She knows she went too far and always retreats.

Yes, my job would be infinitely better is my MB had a nice personality. But she simply doesn't and like you, OP, I see her bad personality with people other than myself. I am an older nanny who has circled this particular block several times now and I often wish I could warn her that she will lose her husband if she doesn't show him more respect and concern.

[Anonymous]

Smile and let it slide off you back, Op, if it is something minor. Bring her crap to her attention if it is something that you cannot get past.

Sometimes good nannies can be too devoted to their charges and accept more than anyone should have to accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smile and let it slide off you back, Op, if it is something minor. Bring her crap to her attention if it is something that you cannot get past.

Sometimes good nannies can be too devoted to their charges and accept more than anyone should have to accept.

+1 Please try not to let your love and devotion to your charge cloud your judgement on your working conditions. And make sure you get a glowing letter of recommendation from this rotten MB before you tell her you are leaving.

[Anonymous]

Personally OP, I couldn't stand to work FOR someone like this.

Sure, it would be ideal if there were a way to magically have her words roll off of your shoulders. Unfortunately there is not.

So you will just have to accept that part of this job is dealing w/a lousy MomBoss. There are no if, ands or buts here.

If you can self-talk yourself out of feeling discouraged by her words, please share your strategy here.