How Much Severance Pay for Excellent Long Term Nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make sure your nanny has opportunities to see your daughter - birthday parties and/or evening babysitting. This will be so hard on your DD if the nanny is torn from her life and never heard from again.

I loved my nanny and she quit/was fired (I, to this day have never gotten the straight story and never heard my nanny's side) when I was six - I was devastated. My parents thought it would be easier for me to just never see or talk to her again but it was the opposite. I felt that I had done something so wrong to have made her leave.

+1 I had the same situation with my father's girlfriend from when I was between 4 and 8. When she and my Dad broke up, a child psychologist told them that it would be better if she didn't see or contact me. I was devastated. This woman was amazing, loving, funny and such a great influence on me. I found her again after I was an adult and we have established a wonderful relationship again. But I truly missed her when I was growing up even though I had loving parents.

I will never let a nanny simply walk out of my children's lives. It is cruel to the child.

I wish some more mothers were just like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please make sure your nanny has opportunities to see your daughter - birthday parties and/or evening babysitting. This will be so hard on your DD if the nanny is torn from her life and never heard from again.

I loved my nanny and she quit/was fired (I, to this day have never gotten the straight story and never heard my nanny's side) when I was six - I was devastated. My parents thought it would be easier for me to just never see or talk to her again but it was the opposite. I felt that I had done something so wrong to have made her leave.

Thank you sharing this. As a nanny, I wonder about the children I've lost contact with. I wish I knew they're doing well. I put 'my everything' into the love and care I provided them.

I wish parents had some understanding of this phenomenon.
Stability of care is so very important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD will be starting pre-k in the fall. We've had her excellent nanny since birth. The nanny knows that we'll be moving on to pre-k in September. What time of cash gift is appropriate for her? We paid in the mid-teens for her hourly wage. She's been excellent, so we need to pay her nicely. DH doesn't agree. He thinks a week's pay is sufficient. I think that is ridiculous. WWYD?

As much as you can afford. One month is great but if you can't, do as much as you can and make it clear you appreciate her.

Also, minor point, but this is a parting gift, not a severance. Severance is paid to compensate for loss of income if the loss of employment is abrupt. Both of you know when your arrangement is ending, so it's not severance.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

[Anonymous]

That sounds great and you seem like a very
caring and generous employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

That sounds more than ok. I'm sure your nanny will appreciate that, and I'm sure she's valued your time together as much as you have. I do want to say please don't be offended if nanny can't make every get together it can be challenging especially when you are starting with a new family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

That sounds great, OP. I am so glad your nanny will continue to be a part of your child's life for your child's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

Sounds fine to me. Now you just have to convince your husband.

[Anonymous]

This sounds very generous, OP.

It's so nice to hear stories of wonderful relationships between nannies and families. Makes me miss my last nanny family who was absolutely wonderful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MB (not OP) here. While one week per year is a lovely idea, I wouldn't be able to afford an entire extra month of salary easily.

OP - What about two weeks of her net pay amount as a parting gift? This is skirting the taxable income piece a bit but might let you be more generous more easily.

The truth though, is that the fact that you're giving your nanny 6 months notice, combined with a week's salary, is already terrific. You have nothing to feel badly about.

Genenerosity and appreciation aren't for you, are they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all of the thoughtful comments. Firstly, while the nanny arrangement was a formal one, our nanny became and will forever be a very special part of our family. I'm not concerned about the contract because it would be like sticking to a contract between myself and my mom. Weird, to say the least. We became very close and functioned like a family. Secondly, her last day will be August 1st, which she has known for a very long time. My child will begin Preschool, so it will be time to part ways then. That being said, she'll need a new position, but will always be a part of our family. She'll be invited to family celebrations and much as our flesh and blood family. I will also have the kids call her on a regular weekly basis- whatever happens naturally. So, I'm hoping to pay her one week's pay x 6 (one week for each year she was with us). does this sound okay?

That sounds great, OP. I am so glad your nanny will continue to be a part of your child's life for your child's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MB (not OP) here. While one week per year is a lovely idea, I wouldn't be able to afford an entire extra month of salary easily.

OP - What about two weeks of her net pay amount as a parting gift? This is skirting the taxable income piece a bit but might let you be more generous more easily.

The truth though, is that the fact that you're giving your nanny 6 months notice, combined with a week's salary, is already terrific. You have nothing to feel badly about.

Genenerosity and appreciation aren't for you, are they?

Ignore this troll. She hates whenever someone puts a reasonable limit on any kind of compensation.

[Anonymous]

i have been working for my family for 7 years and i quit my job because the mother is treating me unfairly and making me feel worthless. i finally have the urge to step up and help the family especially the children to stop the screaming and the foul words that she uses at home. i gave my month notice to them already. did anybody know if i am eligible for long term bonus or anything when finish my job? please help

[Anonymous]

So glad to hear you are keeping her in your families life, OP. Good on you for not just forgetting about her as soon as she is of no use. Wish more MB's were like you. It is really hard when you get close to families and the children and it is suddenly gone. Nannying is a job like no other in terms of the relationships you form and it's great to hear you acknowledge that, you sound like a fantastic and caring MB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i have been working for my family for 7 years and i quit my job because the mother is treating me unfairly and making me feel worthless. i finally have the urge to step up and help the family especially the children to stop the screaming and the foul words that she uses at home. i gave my month notice to them already. did anybody know if i am eligible for long term bonus or anything when finish my job? please help

No, you're not eligible for a bonus... Bonuses are for employees who go above and beyond, who have been let go, etc. They aren't for employees who quit.

On one hand, yes, you are protecting yourself by quitting. But don't manufacture reasons. You aren't protecting the kids by quitting.