Do you judge any potential nannies on look?

[Anonymous]

I worked for a family 5 years ago who left their notes about the nannies interviewed. They all started with comments about physical appearance. The family looked for someone who values similar things. I ate healthy, cooked, ran, exercised. The mom was trying to start doing those things and wanted someone who wouldn't be encouraging get bad habits.

[Anonymous]

MB here. Everyone judges everyone else based on physical appearance, regardless of the setting, and whether we admit it or not. It's human nature.

What and how you judge however varies.

I care a lot about the pictures people post of themselves on a job seeking site related to childcare, and I care how they present themselves in person.

I look for age appropriate and situational appropriate attire (party clothes, crazy cleavage, ill fitting clothing, etc... are all a turn-off). I care if they look clean and tidy, appropriate for the job they're seeking, and comfortable. (OK - comfort is more relevant strictly to nannying, but I have toddlers - I need someone who is dressed to play comfortably while still looking put together.)

Tattoos, piercings, hair color, all within moderation do not bother me. If you have swastikas on your face and you jangle when you walk I probably won't contact you. If you have a funky cool style I might envy you or remember when I had a little more spark, but I would still interview you.

You have to look friendly, fun, presentable and clean (IMO) both in photos and in person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked for a family 5 years ago who left their notes about the nannies interviewed. They all started with comments about physical appearance. The family looked for someone who values similar things. I ate healthy, cooked, ran, exercised. The mom was trying to start doing those things and wanted someone who wouldn't be encouraging get bad habits.

Wow. Would not want to work for a family's whose first notes are on physical appearance. Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely been discriminated against because I am too thin. I've made comments about how I eat healthy and would encourage the children to do so and then the overweight moms have rolled their eyes at me. They have also made comments about how I should gain weight. My weight is totally normal too. I am 5'5 110 lbs.

I find that hard to believe. The perfect people always want to feel like they have it so hard too, that they are also oppressed or discriminated against, but in fact it is just not true.

No, I believe her. If she is young and very thin, I would worry about her having anorexia or bulimia and even subconsciously or unknowingly influencing my daughters.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes wear my hair in cornrows (I am black) but never in a photo on a job site and never in an interview. Unfortunately, black women with straight, stringy hair earn higher salaries, in any profession- there is lots of employment data to show it. So my hair is straightened for first impressions. Otherwise, I risk getting lower salary offers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes wear my hair in cornrows (I am black) but never in a photo on a job site and never in an interview. Unfortunately, black women with straight, stringy hair earn higher salaries, in any profession- there is lots of employment data to show it. So my hair is straightened for first impressions. Otherwise, I risk getting lower salary offers.

I haven't found that to be true. I'm sure being black in and of itself is enough to eliminate me from some positions, but of the families I interview with, my hair has never been an issue. I have big natural hair, but it easy to pull it into a bun for an interview, or if I'm working with a grabby infant. I wouldn't want to work for a family that has an issue with my race or my hair, and I also wouldn't accept a lower salary than I feel is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow glad I never interviewed with you people!!! When I was hired by my nanny family I was 274 pounds and they hired me because of my qualifications and experience. 8 years later I'm still with the family and I've lost 137 pounds... Your loss!!!

While I commend you on your weight loss, even if I could go back in time and have the opportunity to hire you I would not, I just don't have 8 years, 5 years, even 1 year of income to waste on an overweight nanny trying to get her life in shape. After you have lost the weight, sure, I will gladly interview you, but at this point in time you aren't really fit to be a nanny.

NP here. I'm obese and work for a wonderful family, going on 3 years. You have a right to hire who you want but to say that 'you aren't fit to be a nanny' is your opinion and not fact.

If you are obese then you are NOT healthy, NOT a good role model and defn someone I would NOT Hire. We are not just talking about being overweight but OBESE. There is NO way you can safely run after children or keep up with them (and don't bother to say you can or you are more fit then a thin nanny- that is a lie). For your sake I hope you lose the weight or risk dying young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely been discriminated against because I am too thin. I've made comments about how I eat healthy and would encourage the children to do so and then the overweight moms have rolled their eyes at me. They have also made comments about how I should gain weight. My weight is totally normal too. I am 5'5 110

I'm 5'5 103lbs and never have issues getting a job because of my weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow glad I never interviewed with you people!!! When I was hired by my nanny family I was 274 pounds and they hired me because of my qualifications and experience. 8 years later I'm still with the family and I've lost 137 pounds... Your loss!!!

While I commend you on your weight loss, even if I could go back in time and have the opportunity to hire you I would not, I just don't have 8 years, 5 years, even 1 year of income to waste on an overweight nanny trying to get her life in shape. After you have lost the weight, sure, I will gladly interview you, but at this point in time you aren't really fit to be a nanny.

[b]

I lost the weight my first two years on the job. But don't worry honey, I wouldn't have worked for you anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes wear my hair in cornrows (I am black) but never in a photo on a job site and never in an interview. Unfortunately, black women with straight, stringy hair earn higher salaries, in any profession- there is lots of employment data to show it. So my hair is straightened for first impressions. Otherwise, I risk getting lower salary offers.

I haven't found that to be true. I'm sure being black in and of itself is enough to eliminate me from some positions, but of the families I interview with, my hair has never been an issue. I have big natural hair, but it easy to pull it into a bun for an interview, or if I'm working with a grabby infant. I wouldn't want to work for a family that has an issue with my race or my hair, and I also wouldn't accept a lower salary than I feel is appropriate.

I agree that for some families no hair style will make the difference because they just are not going to hire me. You are right about that.

I disagree that for the other families style is not an issue. When I have worn my natural hair out and big it has not been a problem. Wrapping it up in a bun is not a problem either. There is something about wearing any hairstyle that is stereotypically African American though that seems to be a problem. I would never denegrate myself to work for someone who cared but I also have no way of knowing that. As far as salary, it also comes into play in terms of opportunity loss and implicit bias. So I may be stuck in a cerain pay range for years while other people earn more even though we are all gaining additional experience and skills. There is nothing wrong with a $15 wage. What if I want to take on new challenges though, expand my skill set? Suddenly there is an invisible ceiling. The opportunity to do more challenging work that would give me the experience to earn a higher salary is limited unless I fit a certain mold.

I also notice I get more questions about my discipline style dependng on whether I look more main stream or not. Hair in a bun, ok basic questions about my discipline style. Cornrows, now you want to know how my mother discpiplined me as a child, whether I know what the term passive violence means, etc.

It is a choice we each have to make whether we want to expend energy wading through disparate treatment. I don't wear cornrows because I have decided to focus on concerns related to my skills, not my looks. I also don't wear my converses, or sweatshirt or reusable tote to a nanny interview even though those are the things I would use almost daily on the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow glad I never interviewed with you people!!! When I was hired by my nanny family I was 274 pounds and they hired me because of my qualifications and experience. 8 years later I'm still with the family and I've lost 137 pounds... Your loss!!!

While I commend you on your weight loss, even if I could go back in time and have the opportunity to hire you I would not, I just don't have 8 years, 5 years, even 1 year of income to waste on an overweight nanny trying to get her life in shape. After you have lost the weight, sure, I will gladly interview you, but at this point in time you aren't really fit to be a nanny.

NP here. I'm obese and work for a wonderful family, going on 3 years. You have a right to hire who you want but to say that 'you aren't fit to be a nanny' is your opinion and not fact.

If you are obese then you are NOT healthy, NOT a good role model and defn someone I would NOT Hire. We are not just talking about being overweight but OBESE. There is NO way you can safely run after children or keep up with them (and don't bother to say you can or you are more fit then a thin nanny- that is a lie). For your sake I hope you lose the weight or risk dying young.

It's all good. I would never work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes wear my hair in cornrows (I am black) but never in a photo on a job site and never in an interview. Unfortunately, black women with straight, stringy hair earn higher salaries, in any profession- there is lots of employment data to show it. So my hair is straightened for first impressions. Otherwise, I risk getting lower salary offers.

I haven't found that to be true. I'm sure being black in and of itself is enough to eliminate me from some positions, but of the families I interview with, my hair has never been an issue. I have big natural hair, but it easy to pull it into a bun for an interview, or if I'm working with a grabby infant. I wouldn't want to work for a family that has an issue with my race or my hair, and I also wouldn't accept a lower salary than I feel is appropriate.

I agree that for some families no hair style will make the difference because they just are not going to hire me. You are right about that.

I disagree that for the other families style is not an issue. When I have worn my natural hair out and big it has not been a problem. Wrapping it up in a bun is not a problem either. There is something about wearing any hairstyle that is stereotypically African American though that seems to be a problem. I would never denegrate myself to work for someone who cared but I also have no way of knowing that. As far as salary, it also comes into play in terms of opportunity loss and implicit bias. So I may be stuck in a cerain pay range for years while other people earn more even though we are all gaining additional experience and skills. There is nothing wrong with a $15 wage. What if I want to take on new challenges though, expand my skill set? Suddenly there is an invisible ceiling. The opportunity to do more challenging work that would give me the experience to earn a higher salary is limited unless I fit a certain mold.

I also notice I get more questions about my discipline style dependng on whether I look more main stream or not. Hair in a bun, ok basic questions about my discipline style. Cornrows, now you want to know how my mother discpiplined me as a child, whether I know what the term passive violence means, etc.

It is a choice we each have to make whether we want to expend energy wading through disparate treatment. I don't wear cornrows because I have decided to focus on concerns related to my skills, not my looks. I also don't wear my converses, or sweatshirt or reusable tote to a nanny interview even though those are the things I would use almost daily on the job.

I get where you're coming from, but I personally feel its important to be myself in an interview, of course my best self, but myself nonetheless. If I frequently wore my hair in cornrows, I'd make no effort to hide that fact because I wouldn't want to be hired by a family that sees it as an issue, and the ignorant questions you get (and I've gotten as well) are telling and something I'd want revealed before choosing to work with them. I know I'm looking for a very specific kind of family, and anything that helps eliminate those that don't fit is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow glad I never interviewed with you people!!! When I was hired by my nanny family I was 274 pounds and they hired me because of my qualifications and experience. 8 years later I'm still with the family and I've lost 137 pounds... Your loss!!!

While I commend you on your weight loss, even if I could go back in time and have the opportunity to hire you I would not, I just don't have 8 years, 5 years, even 1 year of income to waste on an overweight nanny trying to get her life in shape. After you have lost the weight, sure, I will gladly interview you, but at this point in time you aren't really fit to be a nanny.

NP here. I'm obese and work for a wonderful family, going on 3 years. You have a right to hire who you want but to say that 'you aren't fit to be a nanny' is your opinion and not fact.

If you are obese then you are NOT healthy, NOT a good role model and defn someone I would NOT Hire. We are not just talking about being overweight but OBESE. There is NO way you can safely run after children or keep up with them (and don't bother to say you can or you are more fit then a thin nanny- that is a lie). For your sake I hope you lose the weight or risk dying young.

What reality are you living in? Check out the staff yearbook photo for any childcare program. You are going to see plenty of beautiful, well endowed women. I am not a large girl but I don't have anything against them either.

[Anonymous]

I live in CA so whether someone is black is not an issue since race is not an issue out here.

And if a woman is black and doesn't relax her hair, that wouldn't make an impression, whether negative or positive on me as a mother.

Age is important. 20somethings are too connected to their Smartphones and need to constantly check their Facebook, Twitter, etc. accounts throughout the day. Older women not so much.

Weight is not a big issue, however for obvious reasons I wouldn't hire a woman who was obese since energy is a main requirement for nanny work.

[Anonymous]

So tired of hearing about weight on this entire fucking forum