How early should I say something?

[Anonymous]

Slavery does not mean what 08:00 thinks it does.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm an MB. I think it sounds like your current arrangement is decent, but not exactly what you want for much longer, and that's perfectly fine. It doesn't sound to me that you're being taken advantage of, and as an MB I appreciate your consideration of supporting the family and trying to be thoughtful about how your leaving would impact them.

If I try to put myself in your MB's shoes I would want several weeks to prepare for your leaving, and maybe even a way to manage you moving out and someone else moving in. I think the housing aspect can complicate these things. Perhaps you could tell them that you will be moving on and plan for a date when you would move out, as well as a date when you would stop working? A lot depends on your relationship with them - people could always kick you to the curb faster than you're ready to be done if they find a replacement. But a live-in replacement can take longer. If you make it easy for them to have someone else move in that might be appreciated. (If you gave them 6 weeks notice for the position but planned to move out in 4 weeks for instance.) That way they could clean, paint, advertise, let candidates see the space, and possibly have someone move in quickly enough to have a smooth transition.

In either case I wouldn't give them many months notice, unless you are really prepared to leave much sooner.

Good luck. You sound really considerate and I hope the MB is equally considerate of you in return.

[Anonymous]

$13/hr as a live in is NOT "slave" wage.. nannies typically make between $10 and $20 per hour depending on location, experience, number of children, responsibility.. c'mon people, this is a nanny job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What city are you in, OP?

McLean

McLean is a rich area and they are only paying you $13hr. Shame on them. FWIW, you need to consider the cost of renting an apt, living with a friend etc. versus lving in their home rent free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What city are you in, OP?

McLean

McLean is a rich area and they are only paying you $13hr. Shame on them. FWIW, you need to consider the cost of renting an apt, living with a friend etc. versus lving in their home rent free.

Exactly. McLean, VA is one of richest towns in the country. I live here. "Slave wages" in the nanny world means getting paid so little, that you couldn't afford to live out if you wanted to.

[Anonymous]

"Where you are, OP, your wages are considered "slave" wages, at $13/hour. Are they doing it off the books? "

dear Lord - she is live in and a mother's helper. This is not a horrific wage for those elements! she is of course free to find another job and should do so if she wants.
OP - I would not say anything until 1 month before you are ready to go. Smiling is the right response to "oh, we hope to keep you forever!". This is not lying.

[Anonymous]

Fall 2015 is a long way away. I think you could tell them about four months from when you want to start something new. Congrats on finding a family you like!

[Anonymous]

Wow, there is a lot of ignorance on this thread. Of course you make a lower hourly rate as a live in. The live in accommodations are part of the compensation.

You are paid adequately for what you do, OP, but it sounds like you have mismatched expectations with your employer. Since you like them, I'd consider giving generous notice, but it looks like you need and want a different job.

Let them know when you are at the stage of accepting a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there is a lot of ignorance on this thread. Of course you make a lower hourly rate as a live in. The live in accommodations are part of the compensation.

You are paid adequately for what you do, OP, but it sounds like you have mismatched expectations with your employer. Since you like them, I'd consider giving generous notice, but it looks like you need and want a different job.

Let them know when you are at the stage of accepting a new job.

Would you consider live-in digs an attractive perk at your job? If you lived in the slums, perhaps. Many nannies do come from upper middle class, so your assumption is erroneous. Plus, most prefer a little space away from work and can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, there is a lot of ignorance on this thread. Of course you make a lower hourly rate as a live in. The live in accommodations are part of the compensation.

You are paid adequately for what you do, OP, but it sounds like you have mismatched expectations with your employer. Since you like them, I'd consider giving generous notice, but it looks like you need and want a different job.

Let them know when you are at the stage of accepting a new job.

Would you consider live-in digs an attractive perk at your job? If you lived in the slums, perhaps. Many nannies do come from upper middle class, so your assumption is erroneous. Plus, most prefer a little space away from work and can afford it.

If you would prefer to have space away from work then don't take a job as a live-in. It's as simple as that. Most live-in nannies do so because they want to and therefore the compensation includes the accommodations. We just hired a new nanny and have been looking at both live-in and live-out applicants. There generally is no overlap. Ultimately we hired a live-in and she PREFERRED to be a live-in. We advertised both the live-in and live-out rate we are paying so she knew that what we were offering for a live-out was more money but she said she would rather be a live-in and understands the difference in pay is because as a live-in she gets room and board.

[Anonymous]

Wow, there is a lot of ignorance on this thread. Of course you make a lower hourly rate as a live in. The live in accommodations are part of the compensation.

You are paid adequately for what you do, OP, but it sounds like you have mismatched expectations with your employer. Since you like them, I'd consider giving generous notice, but it looks like you need and want a different job.

Let them know when you are at the stage of accepting a new job.

Would you consider live-in digs an attractive perk at your job? If you lived in the slums, perhaps. Many nannies do come from upper middle class, so your assumption is erroneous. Plus, most prefer a little space away from work and can afford it.

I honestly can't decide if you are extremely self centered or purposefully obtuse.

It doesn't matter whether you or I consider "live-in digs" an attractive perk. The fact is it is, objectively speaking, a form of compensation. Like contributions to health insurance. Like PTO. All of these benefits have a relative worth in the market place and are considered as part of overall compensation. The market value of rent for a live in space functionally affects the hourly rate by depressing it to accommodate the "free rent". The idea that a live in should make the same or more as a live out is basically suggesting that the NF should throw in free housing (and maybe food) just...because. That makes as much sense as saying a nanny should just throw in $800/mo of extra babysitting just because. Nannies should not be expected to give freebies, and neither should parents.

If a nanny wants time and space away from work, awesome. Live out. No problem. Who cares whether you are "upper middle class"? Doesn't matter. You want to live out, live out.

If a nanny wants to live in and not pay rent offsite, she will likely earn a lower hourly rate to accommodate her "live in digs" as part of her compensation.

It's really pretty simple.