When Do You Start Being Taken For Granted?

[Anonymous]

I am going through the same stuff! It has been 17 months for me. They keep on making statements about the far future, and include me in them. But I never speak to MB or DB anymore. No checking in, or a how are you? No raises no birthday gifts, nothing. I'm a 24/6 nanny so it really is taking it's toll. I heard my MB tell morning hairstylist/make-up artist, "I am so greatfull in my life. You make my whole world possible! I wouldn't be able to do anything without you".

I'm singlehandely raising her child- doing everything!!!! I just went to my charges Parent/Teatcher conference.

I am going to stick it out until my two year mark.

[Anonymous]

I just don't really see these situations as you being taken advantage of. Taken for granted possibly or eve just unapreciated. Taken advantage of is mostly happens to nannies who don't have the guts to say know. Such as your employers just expect you can stay late and call you30 mins before your end time. They work an hour away so even if you said you couldn't stay late... You have to until they get home.
Not be paid for extra hours.
Expected to do things above and beyond your contract.
Treated unfairly.
Most if these posts just seem to me like MBs are just being forgetful to say thank you or have stopped going out of third way to make you feel loved

[Anonymous]

PP-- you don't just don't get it. Either because as a nanny you have never experienced it, or as MB/DB you are unaware that you are doing it. You would understand if this happened to you.

And this post isn't about being taken advantage of, it's about your employers loosing respect for you and treating you like part of the furniture. That you aren't a very special employee that is doing the most fantastic job helping you raise their children.

[Anonymous]

PP-- you don't just don't get it. Either because as a nanny you have never experienced it, or as MB/DB you are unaware that you are doing it. You would understand if this happened to you.

And this post isn't about being taken advantage of, it's about your employers loosing respect for you and treating you like part of the furniture. That you aren't a very special employee that is doing the most fantastic job helping you raise their children.

Thanks for clarifying. You are correct. None of these complaints are about being taken advantage of. They are about you not being thanked enough for being a "very special employee".

Well, welcome to the grownup world of work. Most of us are not thanked profusely for doing our jobs on a daily, or even weekly, basis. Many of us save lives and are never thanked. This is life.

Find some joy in the little successes of your day. Maybe MB doesn't remember to give you a gift card on your nannyversary, but I bet you get smiles and hugs from your charges. Try to appreciate that and complain less. Who knows, maybe you will be able to stay in a job for more than 2 years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP-- you don't just don't get it. Either because as a nanny you have never experienced it, or as MB/DB you are unaware that you are doing it. You would understand if this happened to you.

And this post isn't about being taken advantage of, it's about your employers loosing respect for you and treating you like part of the furniture. That you aren't a very special employee that is doing the most fantastic job helping you raise their children.

Thank you. You've made my point.
It's not about being taken advantage of as the title of the post indicates. If you are being treated like a piece of furniture you need to leave.
As a nanny I have been taken advantage of and taken for granted. I would rather be taken for granted as it's less emotionally taxing. As I know that I am doing my job to the best of
My ability. My employer doesn't have to give me a little pay on the back every day.

Being taken advantage of is increadibly horrible. And unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP-- you don't just don't get it. Either because as a nanny you have never experienced it, or as MB/DB you are unaware that you are doing it. You would understand if this happened to you.

And this post isn't about being taken advantage of, it's about your employers loosing respect for you and treating you like part of the furniture. That you aren't a very special employee that is doing the most fantastic job helping you raise their children.

Thanks for clarifying. You are correct. None of these complaints are about being taken advantage of. They are about you not being thanked enough for being a "very special employee".

Well, welcome to the grownup world of work. Most of us are not thanked profusely for doing our jobs on a daily, or even weekly, basis. Many of us save lives and are never thanked. This is life.

Find some joy in the little successes of your day. Maybe MB doesn't remember to give you a gift card on your nannyversary, but I bet you get smiles and hugs from your charges. Try to appreciate that and complain less. Who knows, maybe you will be able to stay in a job for more than 2 years!

+1. The nannies on this thread need to grow up. They are disgruntled because they don't get birthday gifts from their boss? Because the boss expects them to do a great job without constant coddling? Because no one asks them how they are feeling on a regular basis? Woweee.

[Anonymous]

You all are making the thread about something that it wasn't. Birthday gifts are just an example of the general not trying so hard that comes after a year or two of working for a family. To pretend that it doesn't happen is just stupid. I think some of you just need a reason to be bitchy and judgmental, and its really you who need to grow up. Jobs get stale. On both sides. You're no longer new and shiny to them, and things that were once above and beyond are now expected. If you truly don't understand, you probably haven't actually been a long term nanny.

[Anonymous]

Of course jobs get stale. That happens everywhere and in any job. However, it is the combination of how soon it goes stale for nannies and how they call it being taken for granted that looks a lot like whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course jobs get stale. That happens everywhere and in any job. However, it is the combination of how soon it goes stale for nannies and how they call it being taken for granted that looks a lot like whining.

It's an anonymous internet board. Whining is what ones usually finds here. You knew that when you opened the thread. Your need to comment, judge, and generally be bitchy is more confusing than anything posted here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course jobs get stale. That happens everywhere and in any job. However, it is the combination of how soon it goes stale for nannies and how they call it being taken for granted that looks a lot like whining.

If my boss didn't take me for granted by the year and a half mark--or more accurately, take my above average performance for granted--it would reflect a failure on my part. This just means you've mastered the basics of the job and settled into the relationships and now need to set new professional goals for yourself.

Tell the boss you'd like to learn more about cooking and would be willing to help plan and prepare family meals. Get some child development books and start testing out new techniques for talking with that tantrum-prone toddler you care for. Buy some activity guides on Amazon and start planning quality teaching activities for your charges, beyond the usual playdates, library visits, and crayon projects. Take responsibility for your own professional motivation and learn to take pride in constantly pushing your own performance boundaries. Understand that your boss appreciates this even if she doesn't express it on a daily basis. This will be recognized eventually, although not necessarily in the form of nanniversary cards and daily praise from your boss. You might get your due when you move on and your boss raves about you to that prospective new employer who is offering a couple dollars more than you now earn but expects skill and experience in all these areas that would be considered "extras" in your current job. Or when you finally get that raise from your current family because when MB finally has a moment to reflect on her hectic life, she realizes that you are a gem who makes it infinitely easier.

And no, you don't go asking for or expecting an immediate raise because you've taken on extra duties. You start thinking of these things as part of the package that makes you an exceptional nanny instead of as "extras" that you do in the hope of winning daily praise from your boss. Then, once you've mastered these things, you ask for a raise at your next annual meeting after pointing out all the ways you add value. This is what professionals do.

In a lot of ways, jobs are like romantic relationships. The intense thrill of newness wear off after a year or so. At that point you either settle into something that is less exciting but no less meaningful, or you move on like a thrill junkie and miss out on what could be a great "mature" relationship. The same is true of nanny jobs. If you always move on after 1.5 to 2 years, you miss the opportunity to truly become part of your charges' life and soul in ways that they will remember long after you're gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Of course jobs get stale. That happens everywhere and in any job. However, it is the combination of how soon it goes stale for nannies and how they call it being taken for granted that looks a lot like whining.



It's an anonymous internet board. Whining is what ones usually finds here. You knew that when you opened the thread. Your need to comment, judge, and generally be bitchy is more confusing than anything posted here.

If you admit that you're whining, why is it bitchy to point it out? Because there is nothing at all bitchy in that post.

[Anonymous]

I've been with my current family 7 years. They still say thank you every day.

[Anonymous]

Yes I nanny for this family who is clearly rich and I do everything for them and they don’t even say thank u to me! Even get gifts for there daughter because the child barley has any clothes or toys! The other day I asked for advance pay meaning don’t pay me next week for a day! She told me no problem but once I left she told me unfortunately no sorry!! Remind u I drive almost hr there and back! She only pays me 16hr which was suppose to be 20 hr! And her math isn’t addding up! 5 days and only getting 173 dollars!! Ain’t making any sense!! So honestly I think I’m not going back!! It’s just I feel like I’m being used!! I have my own bills and child to take care of and I’m barely making anything working for this rich family!! It’s really sad.

[Anonymous]

I do not know why people find old threads. I do not have issues being taken for granted. It is easier if my employer just kind of ignores me, apart from greeting in the morning and short conversation at the end of day. You or I are not family and it is fine, as long as there is mutual respect. I am trying not to introduce more of my personality than I need to, to already overwhelmed parents of young children who pay me more than they should be, in this country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably only talking to career nannies on here. But at what stage, and when do you start to be taken for granted? At that point do you just give up and not try anymore? Do you maintain your professionalism, or do you move on?

My nanny friend and I agree it's usually around the 1.5-2 year mark.

At my last job of over 5 years- at first they were amazed at me. Said they appreciated how much I went above and beyond. They called me Super Nanny all the time. They remembered birthdays, holidays, and Nannyversary. But then like magic, at my 2 year mark they couldn't be bothered with me. I became a piece of the furniture. As long as I maintained doing a great job, they got too comfortable. They never had a reason to STOP and evaluate my performance.

Then the need to great me in the morning goes away. To check in and ask once in a while goes away...

After a year and a half, it's happening again. I like the family and love the kids. But it's disheartening to be walked over again. I'm a sensitive person, and that's what makes me a great Nanny.

Because I go so FAR above and beyond, I'm going to try the passive approach and stop doing these extras. Of course I will never do anything to affect my work with the children and the basic duties in the contract.

Please employers stop taking your wonderful nannies for granted.

Passive aggressive is for children. You are an adult and the parents are adults and it's time to have a heart to heart. If that doesn't work then it's time to find a new job.