What happened to disciplining kids??

[Anonymous]

Wait till you have kids and let us know how it really goes. Its very different being a nanny than a parent.

[Anonymous]

Disciplining a child is hard work. I know, I have three. It takes time and patience and a hell of a lot of dedication that far too many patents simply do not have and do not care to cultivate. Giving in to. a child's demands is so much easier than being a parent. In two words: lazy parents.

[Anonymous]

I hear ya OP. High five.

I was raised the same way.

If I fussed over what my parents fed me, then too bad, I guess I didn't get any dinner that night.

If a kid these days fussed over his plate, his parents just bribe him w/ice cream "later on" or a new toy or something to get him to eat "just one bite" of his peas. So lame.

I think most parents work these days and suffer from working parents guilt. I also think they are tired from a day of work and just don't care about effective parenting. They prefer to take the easy way out and bribe their child vs. deal w/an emotional meltdown.

Now a days, everything that my parents did to discipline me is considered child abuse. Ha!! Now a days, kids get their I~pads, cell phones, computers, etc. taken away for bad behavior.

Guess what everyone?
When I was a kid, none of that existed!!!

By the way, I am 44. Not ancient by any standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear ya OP. High five.

I was raised the same way.

If I fussed over what my parents fed me, then too bad, I guess I didn't get any dinner that night.

If a kid these days fussed over his plate, his parents just bribe him w/ice cream "later on" or a new toy or something to get him to eat "just one bite" of his peas. So lame.

I think most parents work these days and suffer from working parents guilt. I also think they are tired from a day of work and just don't care about effective parenting. They prefer to take the easy way out and bribe their child vs. deal w/an emotional meltdown.

Now a days, everything that my parents did to discipline me is considered child abuse. Ha!! Now a days, kids get their I~pads, cell phones, computers, etc. taken away for bad behavior.

Guess what everyone?
When I was a kid, none of that existed!!!

By the way, I am 44. Not ancient by any standards.

I agree that many parents just give in too easily and it sets up really bad habits in their children but lets not generalize about all parents. I know plenty of parents (myself included) who don't believe in that but also don't believe in abusive discipline either. When I was growing up (I'm about your age, so same era) nothing my parents did for discipline would have come close to child abuse. That's just another lazy way of disciplining and teaching your children.

My children don't get to dictate what they will and won't eat for dinner, we don't bribe with ice cream to get them to eat but we worked hard when they were babies to introduce all sorts of different foods (not chicken nuggets) so now they will eat almost anything. My children don't have ipads, cell phones or their own computer (we share 1 family computer). Between my husband and I we also have a family rule - no cell phones/electronics during family time - so we are teaching by example that way. We don't have to resort to scare tactics, we don't yell at the children and we have 3 very well behaved children. When we go places in public mine are not the ones running around screaming. On airplanes we are the ones who are told at the end of the flight how good our children are.

My point is I agree that giving in to what your child wants is a lazy approach to parenting but you don't have to resort to spanking are other "child abuse" to have well behaved children either.

[Anonymous]

PP again. By the way, I also am a working parent.

[Anonymous]

I'm with ya too OP.

Of course there are a lot of hard working parents out there who do put in the time and effort to effectively and appropriately raise and discipline their children.

However, there's also a number of parents, I'd say the majority in this day and age, who let their children do as they please to avoid tantrums or really dealing with their children. Parents who continue to use worn out methods like "time out" or "privilege loss" that they know don't work... at the very least for their kid. I'd say a lot has to do with the increase in teen pregnancies and, often in conjunction with this, having children out of wedlock.

My older cousin decided to knock up a girl when he was 20. Now he has a 5 year old (my awesome lil cousin). However, both parents spoil her. Hell, she had her own iPad once it came out. I haven't even purchased one yet, lol. And I really hate how they let her watch any and every thing on it, specifically music videos like Nicki Minaj with cursing and inappropriate content over all. But that's kind of another matter.... she's well behaved with me!

When I was a kid, and I didn't want to eat something for dinner... it was there again for breakfast... and lunch... and dinner again, so on and so forth, until I finally ate it. At the very least my mom did warm it up for me each time, lol

And sure, I got my ass whooped when I did stupid shit like jump off furniture, write on walls, play around during nap time, etc... but looking back now, I'd of beat my ass too for all the dumb stuff I intentionally did

At the very least I'm no spoiled, entitled, 23 year old. Just the opposite and, whether or not my parents could have or should have used another disciplinary tactic has no bearing on me today, At least they took the time to do it one way or the other, and I appreciate that.

Lord help me had I turned out to be like some of the kids I grew up with in school or see these days, and thank goodness I don't have to deal with any such spoiled little brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with ya too OP.

Of course there are a lot of hard working parents out there who do put in the time and effort to effectively and appropriately raise and discipline their children.

However, there's also a number of parents, I'd say the majority in this day and age, who let their children do as they please to avoid tantrums or really dealing with their children. Parents who continue to use worn out methods like "time out" or "privilege loss" that they know don't work... at the very least for their kid. I'd say a lot has to do with the increase in teen pregnancies and, often in conjunction with this, having children out of wedlock.

My older cousin decided to knock up a girl when he was 20. Now he has a 5 year old (my awesome lil cousin). However, both parents spoil her. Hell, she had her own iPad once it came out. I haven't even purchased one yet, lol. And I really hate how they let her watch any and every thing on it, specifically music videos like Nicki Minaj with cursing and inappropriate content over all. But that's kind of another matter.... she's well behaved with me!

When I was a kid, and I didn't want to eat something for dinner... it was there again for breakfast... and lunch... and dinner again, so on and so forth, until I finally ate it. At the very least my mom did warm it up for me each time, lol

And sure, I got my ass whooped when I did stupid shit like jump off furniture, write on walls, play around during nap time, etc... but looking back now, I'd of beat my ass too for all the dumb stuff I intentionally did

At the very least I'm no spoiled, entitled, 23 year old. Just the opposite and, whether or not my parents could have or should have used another disciplinary tactic has no bearing on me today, At least they took the time to do it one way or the other, and I appreciate that.

Lord help me had I turned out to be like some of the kids I grew up with in school or see these days, and thank goodness I don't have to deal with any such spoiled little brats.

You lost me at "out of wedlock". Is this 1950?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with ya too OP.

Of course there are a lot of hard working parents out there who do put in the time and effort to effectively and appropriately raise and discipline their children.

However, there's also a number of parents, I'd say the majority in this day and age, who let their children do as they please to avoid tantrums or really dealing with their children. Parents who continue to use worn out methods like "time out" or "privilege loss" that they know don't work... at the very least for their kid. I'd say a lot has to do with the increase in teen pregnancies and, often in conjunction with this, having children out of wedlock.

My older cousin decided to knock up a girl when he was 20. Now he has a 5 year old (my awesome lil cousin). However, both parents spoil her. Hell, she had her own iPad once it came out. I haven't even purchased one yet, lol. And I really hate how they let her watch any and every thing on it, specifically music videos like Nicki Minaj with cursing and inappropriate content over all. But that's kind of another matter.... she's well behaved with me!

When I was a kid, and I didn't want to eat something for dinner... it was there again for breakfast... and lunch... and dinner again, so on and so forth, until I finally ate it. At the very least my mom did warm it up for me each time, lol

And sure, I got my ass whooped when I did stupid shit like jump off furniture, write on walls, play around during nap time, etc... but looking back now, I'd of beat my ass too for all the dumb stuff I intentionally did

At the very least I'm no spoiled, entitled, 23 year old. Just the opposite and, whether or not my parents could have or should have used another disciplinary tactic has no bearing on me today, At least they took the time to do it one way or the other, and I appreciate that.

Lord help me had I turned out to be like some of the kids I grew up with in school or see these days, and thank goodness I don't have to deal with any such spoiled little brats.

Actually, the way your parents disciplined you has a huge impact on how you are today. They showed how not to be patient and use proper discipline methods. They taught you that its easier to spank a child than to take the time to figure out what is really the issue and how to address it properly. They taught you that violence against a child is okay. 95% of the time a child's negative behavior is directly related to a stress induced situation that the parents or caregiver has placed the child in. Young children act out for a reason and its your job as a parent or caregiver to figure out what is wrong. The fact that you are 23 and think this way worries me very much. You are obviously not at the maturity level or have the knowledge to deal with children effectively. Educate yourself.

By the way, I was raised the same way the difference is I knew my parents were assholes and quickly learned appropriate ways to handle situations, while you just try to emulate yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with ya too OP.

Of course there are a lot of hard working parents out there who do put in the time and effort to effectively and appropriately raise and discipline their children.

However, there's also a number of parents, I'd say the majority in this day and age, who let their children do as they please to avoid tantrums or really dealing with their children. Parents who continue to use worn out methods like "time out" or "privilege loss" that they know don't work... at the very least for their kid. I'd say a lot has to do with the increase in teen pregnancies and, often in conjunction with this, having children out of wedlock.

My older cousin decided to knock up a girl when he was 20. Now he has a 5 year old (my awesome lil cousin). However, both parents spoil her. Hell, she had her own iPad once it came out. I haven't even purchased one yet, lol. And I really hate how they let her watch any and every thing on it, specifically music videos like Nicki Minaj with cursing and inappropriate content over all. But that's kind of another matter.... she's well behaved with me!

When I was a kid, and I didn't want to eat something for dinner... it was there again for breakfast... and lunch... and dinner again, so on and so forth, until I finally ate it. At the very least my mom did warm it up for me each time, lol

And sure, I got my ass whooped when I did stupid shit like jump off furniture, write on walls, play around during nap time, etc... but looking back now, I'd of beat my ass too for all the dumb stuff I intentionally did

At the very least I'm no spoiled, entitled, 23 year old. Just the opposite and, whether or not my parents could have or should have used another disciplinary tactic has no bearing on me today, At least they took the time to do it one way or the other, and I appreciate that.

Lord help me had I turned out to be like some of the kids I grew up with in school or see these days, and thank goodness I don't have to deal with any such spoiled little brats.

Actually, the way your parents disciplined you has a huge impact on how you are today. They showed how not to be patient and use proper discipline methods. They taught you that its easier to spank a child than to take the time to figure out what is really the issue and how to address it properly. They taught you that violence against a child is okay. 95% of the time a child's negative behavior is directly related to a stress induced situation that the parents or caregiver has placed the child in. Young children act out for a reason and its your job as a parent or caregiver to figure out what is wrong. The fact that you are 23 and think this way worries me very much. You are obviously not at the maturity level or have the knowledge to deal with children effectively. Educate yourself.

By the way, I was raised the same way the difference is I knew my parents were assholes and quickly learned appropriate ways to handle situations, while you just try to emulate yours.

+1000 Hitting your children is just as lazy as the parents who give in to whatever their kids want. As PP said, it's taking the easy way out by not bothering to figure out a better way to address the problem. I don't think I'm perfect but my 3 year old knows very well NOT to write on the wall and I taught him that without hitting or even raising my voice.

[Anonymous]

There is a huge difference between spanking your child vs. disciplining your child. Due to certain people going overboard and overstepping certain boundaries, now that find line that exists between the two is practically invisible.

As a child, I was spanked when I did something I wasn't supposed to do. I was spanked w/a belt. Ouch.

However, it sure taught me not to repeat my offense again and taught me a huge lesson.

My parents made a lot of mistakes in raising me and I hold a lot of things they did to me against them. However, spanking is not one of them.

It was an effective way to teach me to obey.

My parents did it w/out abusing me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge difference between spanking your child vs. disciplining your child. Due to certain people going overboard and overstepping certain boundaries, now that find line that exists between the two is practically invisible.

As a child, I was spanked when I did something I wasn't supposed to do. I was spanked w/a belt. Ouch.

However, it sure taught me not to repeat my offense again and taught me a huge lesson.

My parents made a lot of mistakes in raising me and I hold a lot of things they did to me against them. However, spanking is not one of them.

It was an effective way to teach me to obey.

My parents did it w/out abusing me.

That IS abuse. There are a lot of effective ways to teach children proper behavior without hitting. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's lazy to use spanking or hitting with a belt. I think it's disgusting that your parents would rather hurt their children than make a little more effort to try something different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge difference between spanking your child vs. disciplining your child. Due to certain people going overboard and overstepping certain boundaries, now that find line that exists between the two is practically invisible.

As a child, I was spanked when I did something I wasn't supposed to do. I was spanked w/a belt. Ouch.

However, it sure taught me not to repeat my offense again and taught me a huge lesson.

My parents made a lot of mistakes in raising me and I hold a lot of things they did to me against them. However, spanking is not one of them.

It was an effective way to teach me to obey.

My parents did it w/out abusing me.

When you use a belt it is no longer considered spanking, it's called child abuse/assault. Using anything other than a bare hand on the bum for one-two spanks is against the law. Using spanking as discipline should not leave any marks at all, no cuts, bruises or red marks. If it's done by an intoxicated adult even properly, it's then considered abuse. If the spanking is used as a tool for the parents to release some frustration, it's abuse. If name-calling or multiple smacks are involved, it's abuse. It is a last resort option and should never be done out of anger or to invoke fear. Honestly, it should never even be allowed as a form of discipline but I can only advocate against it. You pp were physically abused as a child, and the fact that you believe it's effective shows how much damage it has already caused you.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe someone would hit their child with a belt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe someone would hit their child with a belt.

I can't believe a supposed nanny would think it was ok!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a huge difference between spanking your child vs. disciplining your child. Due to certain people going overboard and overstepping certain boundaries, now that find line that exists between the two is practically invisible.

As a child, I was spanked when I did something I wasn't supposed to do. I was spanked w/a belt. Ouch.

However, it sure taught me not to repeat my offense again and taught me a huge lesson.

My parents made a lot of mistakes in raising me and I hold a lot of things they did to me against them. However, spanking is not one of them.

It was an effective way to teach me to obey.

My parents did it w/out abusing me.

How do you discipline children?