Not the PP, but I have cared for twins of many different ages. There is definitely need for regime and routine, but scheduling such as the OP is being instructed to carry out it completely unnecessary, and on most days not possible. If you had experience with multiples you would know that most days, sticking to a feeding/eating and napping schedule is a huge accomplishment. |
I am a mom of triplets, have many moms of multiples friends. Sticking to a routine and refining as necessary is not that difficult. Plenty of multiples nannies out there also don't seem to have an issue. It's a matter of organization and understanding each baby. |
PP here, I agree. The main issue OP is having though, is that she is not even able to refine the routine to determine what best suits the baby. Few people would argue that babies/toddlers thrive on routine, but when it is so rigid that baby can not sleep or eat when he/she is tired or hungry, and days are being scheduled down to the minute (eg. the thread where MB wanted to schedule when the kids go outside, when they can read books etc.) it becomes detrimental to the child and the caregiver. So, of course, even with multiples-or any baby for that matter-it is possible and necessary to establish a routine (and is really the only way to get through the first year) but it is not possible to schedule every minute of the day. And there should always be room for the many variables that will arise disrupt the day. |
I understand the need for schedules/routines and all since it does make life a little less stressful, but for young children who have such changing needs every week it makes no sense to me. A young child at a year old should not be on such a regimented schedule.
I care for a one yr. old baby, and he typically has two daily naps while I am there. His parents want him to stay in his crib for at least 2 hrs for his first morning nap, and once he was actually standing up holding on to the rails after an hour. I saw him on the video monitor and he was fussing and texted his father who responded for me NOT to go in there and just let him fuss, that he was still tired and that he would just cry himself back to sleep. Well he ended up fussing for another hour and it broke my heart. When I finally went in to get him after that, I changed his diaper and he had a big hard poop. I am guessing that made it uncomfortable for him to go back to sleep, but all his parents seemed to care about was him getting off his schedule I suppose. So then since he didn't have a good nap, he got cranky and drowsy and hour before his second nap. He was rubbing his eyes, fussing for no reason and didn't want to eat his lunch and all, etc. I wanted to put him down for his nap early, but again (!) his father didn't want him to get "off schedule" <---- HIS words btw, not mine, so I had to keep a cranky baby entertained for that hour which was pure hell. When I have kids I will let them eat when hungry, sleep when tired and sleep as long as needed. No waking up a tired baby!!!!!!!!! Or ignoring an awake one who has a dirty diaper!! |
PP here talking about the twins and I eventually quit after 7 months.
Im ALL for a schedule! however, even after 5 months I was getting multiple daily reminders on what to do. It's an obsession thing. And everything was down to the MINUTE. "2:19 wake up for nap". I'm not kidding. She had 2 different timers and a daily log that never missed an entry no matter what. She was a stay at home mom 90% of the time. |
For children you need a schedule BUT it needs to be flexible. Life happens.
I'm a nanny for twins and yes having them on the same schedule is a must. My MB and I are on the same page about this. We always say ish like the twins nap at 10 ish. Sometimes it's 930 sometimes 1030 normally first nap is 10, but again life happens! |
OP needs to get out of her hell hole ASAP. The parent has some mental health problems that the nanny can't fix. I feel sorry for the poor child stuck with that mother.
Is anyone else aware of what's going on there? |