Notice for mom of little boy whose nanny took him to Glen Echo Park today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boy looked about 6 or 7, and the two girls younger, like 4 or 5.

Am asking about the ages because it seems odd for children to be at the park at naptime, or at least rest time. Are Montgomery County schools out for vacation already?

If I ever see anything concerning, I *always* think of some friendly small talk to get a better sense of what's going on. That's why I don't really believe a caring person would just say absolutely nothing.

OP here again. Now, it's tricky. The kids were not in physical danger. Their safety and physical well-being wasn't an issue. But, IMO, the nannies were not doing their jobs. I am still not sure what I could have possibly said to them that would make a difference in their behavior. It's really their employers (the moms) who could potentially make a difference by speaking to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The boy looked about 6 or 7, and the two girls younger, like 4 or 5.

Am asking about the ages because it seems odd for children to be at the park at naptime, or at least rest time. Are Montgomery County schools out for vacation already?

If I ever see anything concerning, I *always* think of some friendly small talk to get a better sense of what's going on. That's why I don't really believe a caring person would just say absolutely nothing.

OP here again. Now, it's tricky. The kids were not in physical danger. Their safety and physical well-being wasn't an issue. But, IMO, the nannies were not doing their jobs. I am still not sure what I could have possibly said to them that would make a difference in their behavior. It's really their employers (the moms) who could potentially make a difference by speaking to them.

How would you feel if you learned that these "nannies" were being poorly compensated? Hence, the "you get what you pay for" adage.

[Anonymous]

^^OP here. That would be terrible if they weren't getting paid what they deserve. I really hope that the nannies aren't using the kids to take out their frustrations about pay. (But are there really nannies out there whose level of kindness and affection rises and falls with the pay level? Isn't it more likely that some nannies just aren't great, no matter what the pay, and others are wonderful?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^OP here. That would be terrible if they weren't getting paid what they deserve. I really hope that the nannies aren't using the kids to take out their frustrations about pay. (But are there really nannies out there whose level of kindness and affection rises and falls with the pay level? Isn't it more likely that some nannies just aren't great, no matter what the pay, and others are wonderful?)

You've never been a disrespected minimum wage earner? Get the book, "Nickled and Dimed". It will open your world.

Of course every good bunch of people has its bad apples, but that's a different issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, I want to thank you for having the courage to post on here. This website goes a long way. I'm a mom too and appreciate hearing important things about my children. I've never had to post on here about an awful nanny or parent, but I would if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I want to thank you for having the courage to post on here. This website goes a long way. I'm a mom too and appreciate hearing important things about my children. I've never had to post on here about an awful nanny or parent, but I would if necessary.

OP here. Thanks. It's a long shot that the moms actually come here, but maybe. I would definitely want to know if I were one of the moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^OP here. That would be terrible if they weren't getting paid what they deserve. I really hope that the nannies aren't using the kids to take out their frustrations about pay. (But are there really nannies out there whose level of kindness and affection rises and falls with the pay level? Isn't it more likely that some nannies just aren't great, no matter what the pay, and others are wonderful?)

Yes.

I actually don't think it's as nefarious as you've implied it could be, and certainly there are great and terrible nannies who will be great and terrible regardless of their pay. But anyone who has worked in any job knows how much easier it is to conquer the tough days, challenging projects, and frustrating conversations when you can remind yourself how much you're getting paid to do those things. Nannies should obviously never withhold affection or attention from a child because they're upset with the parents, but nannies are people too and most people put in more effort at work when they're being compensated well (or when they know a possible raise/promotion is on the line). It's just human nature I think.

NP here by the way who thinks you acted entirely appropriately. Those types of nannies are not usually interesting in small talk with new people and there is nothing you could have said that would change the way they treat those children - trying to alert the mom/dad is really the only thing you could do.

[Anonymous]

*interested

and apologies for other typos I missed, I'm on my phone.

[Anonymous]

Ignore the PP who seems to assume that bad nannies are that way because they aren't paid well. That is a silly and offensive assumption. Bad nannies are just that. Bad nannies who shouldn't be working with kids. Thanks for posting about them.

[Anonymous]

I'm a mom and I don't always "play" with my kids on the playground. If I'm with another mom, I usually chat. I assume my older kid (5) will find a friend to play with and that my younger ones (3 and 2) will play with each other or by themselves. They don't need me all the time to interact with them. This is usually a break for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the PP who seems to assume that bad nannies are that way because they aren't paid well. That is a silly and offensive assumption. Bad nannies are just that. Bad nannies who shouldn't be working with kids. Thanks for posting about them.

"nickeled and dimed" is for you to

[Anonymous]

Already read it, PP, and it's still totally irrelevant to this discussion.

[Anonymous]

Agree that a nanny that takes low pay out on the kids is a horrible nanny. If you are not being paid right you can quit , negotiate for more or simply slack on the things that impact MB vs the kids (laundry etc). But to be cold to kids because you are not paid enough - whoever thinks that is reasonable is seriously messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that a nanny that takes low pay out on the kids is a horrible nanny. If you are not being paid right you can quit , negotiate for more or simply slack on the things that impact MB vs the kids (laundry etc). But to be cold to kids because you are not paid enough - whoever thinks that is reasonable is seriously messed up.

Nobody said it was right. It's simply reality all over the world. You get what you pay for, unless you choose to be some sort of volunteer worker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that a nanny that takes low pay out on the kids is a horrible nanny. If you are not being paid right you can quit , negotiate for more or simply slack on the things that impact MB vs the kids (laundry etc). But to be cold to kids because you are not paid enough - whoever thinks that is reasonable is seriously messed up.

Nobody said it was right. It's simply reality all over the world. You get what you pay for, unless you choose to be some sort of volunteer worker.

I'm the one who said I think it happens. I obviously think it is completely inappropriate - unethical, cruel, and unprofessional. But I know on bad days I go through the mental exercise of reminding myself that I am being paid well and trusted to do something/deal with something, so I take a few deep breaths and get on with it. If when I went to do that all I could think was, "I can't believe she thinks it's only worth $12 an hour to deal with this crap!" well, then I would probably continue to do my job but not nearly as happily. Right? I mean, it's just true.