Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing though. How do you know what kind of learner or passions a kindergarten will have as they grow. It’s such a gamble.

If your kid goes to HM/Trinity/Brearley for K-5 or K-8 and starts to burn out, I daresay there will be other schools that would love to take them.

If you want to transition to another TT school, there just aren’t spots, even for students from Brearley/Horce Mann/Trinity.

Anonymous wrote:That’s the thing though. How do you know what kind of learner or passions a kindergarten will have as they grow. It’s such a gamble.

If your kid goes to HM/Trinity/Brearley for K-5 or K-8 and starts to burn out, I daresay there will be other schools that would love to take them.

Anonymous wrote:Anything about bullying/stress at Trinity? I've heard such opposing viewpoints - not much about bullying but about the work load.

We haven’t experienced bullying. My kid isn’t stressed— enjoys the work and the pace. But are those things true for everyone? Probably not. Lower school is lovely and lays a strong foundation. Middle school moves quickly and executive functioning expectations are high. We’re not in upper school yet so I cannot comment on that. But my child loves the school (as do I).

This is why there is no such thing as the “best” school. There is the “best” school for your child, and it is pretty impossible to predict at 4 or 5 years old what that school might look like. It is a big leap and a lot of luck— at least it was for us.

Anything about bullying/stress at Trinity? I've heard such opposing viewpoints - not much about bullying but about the work load.

That’s the thing though. How do you know what kind of learner or passions a kindergarten will have as they grow. It’s such a gamble.

Anonymous wrote:So much talk about college placements and rigor but how do the TT schools rank in terms of happiness? I would never send my kid to a HM or Brearley because of the horror stories I hear about stress. Is Chapin or Riverdale best in that sense, because you get academics without kids working themselves into a frenzy over homework, etc?

I think Riverdale got its reputation for being low-stress back when it was the third-ranked Hill school, and now that it's #2 it's somewhat less ideal on that count; still better than HM, maybe, but a lot more smart kids competing a lot harder for college spots.

More generally, though, I think this depends a lot on the kid, and both how much they enjoy this sort of challenge but also how important other things are to them. If your kid is at a nationally competitive level in athletics or performing arts, for example, you probably don't want them in a school where they have 3-4 hours of homework a night, because either their grades or their sport/art are going to suffer from that combination; likewise, if your kid is always handing in homework late or having to be reminded to do it or struggling to go to bed at a decent hour, a pressure-cooker academic school is probably not the right environment for them.

On the other hand, if your kid does their homework the second they get home and talks about it excitedly afterwords and they seem very happy to have school be at the center of their life, a 'high-stress' school might actually be a joyful, enriching experience.

So much talk about college placements and rigor but how do the TT schools rank in terms of happiness? I would never send my kid to a HM or Brearley because of the horror stories I hear about stress. Is Chapin or Riverdale best in that sense, because you get academics without kids working themselves into a frenzy over homework, etc?

The recent tragedy at Chapin did give me pause in this sense, but not sure it's representative of a climate of anxiety/stress. Maybe just a horrible situation specific to that poor child.

Re HM: would agree with this from firsthand observation

Anonymous wrote:Re middle school bullying and friend groups, I've heard awful things about both Riverdale and Fieldston but apparently HM kids are too busy and/or nerdy to bother with it.

Anonymous wrote:Bullying starts in earnest at middle school. I have heard Horace Mann kids can also be terrible. LOL. What HM and Riverdale have going for them is size. Plenty of opportunity to find your people. Girls’ schools offer a more limited community so if you aren’t accepted it can be a very isolating experience.

Size-wise, I've heard the big public middle schools also have less bullying than you might expect. (plenty of other issues - like kids having sex in the bathrooms - but not that much bullying)

Bullying starts in earnest at middle school. I have heard Horace Mann kids can also be terrible. LOL. What HM and Riverdale have going for them is size. Plenty of opportunity to find your people. Girls’ schools offer a more limited community so if you aren’t accepted it can be a very isolating experience.

Anonymous wrote:Re middle school bullying and friend groups, I've heard awful things about both Riverdale and Fieldston but apparently HM kids are too busy and/or nerdy to bother with it.

Is the bullying at Riverdale really that bad? We only toured the lower school but it seemed lovely.

Re middle school bullying and friend groups, I've heard awful things about both Riverdale and Fieldston but apparently HM kids are too busy and/or nerdy to bother with it.

This is grade specific but the level of bullying that occurs at Spence would give me pause. From my daughter’s friend group I find the kids from Dalton and Chapin to be by far the nicest and most down-to-earth. That is only one parent’s perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Meh, Chapin and Spence are sooooo similar…I agree with the Spence mom to go wherever you get in! It’s very difficult to get in after kindergarten regardless. IMPOSSIBLE at middle school, try Horace Mann.

There are a few more spaces at high school, I believe about 10.

Agree with this as well, but at least at the time my DD applied for K (which was years ago now), you ranked your choices because even if they all wanted your kid, she was just going to get into the one you ranked first and waitlisted at the others as the schools like to maintain their yield and the preschools help them with that. So you would be asked to rank them, and you couldn't just say I'll take the one we get into to. We ranked them a Brearley, Spence, Chapin, but others in our preschool preferred Spence, and still others preferred Chapin. Was really personal preference at that point.

Meh, Chapin and Spence are sooooo similar…I agree with the Spence mom to go wherever you get in! It’s very difficult to get in after kindergarten regardless. IMPOSSIBLE at middle school, try Horace Mann.

There are a few more spaces at high school, I believe about 10.