Anonymous wrote:Didn't reports say the POI guy was or is a lifeguard?

Anonymous wrote:I was on this beach just two resorts down a couple of years ago, and the waves are relentless and easily knock you down. I can't imagine being in that water at 4 in the morning after consuming a lot of alcohol. It's so dark. I was leery of the waves during the daylight while sober.

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Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is shocked because she is Indian. Not within their culture to party and drink. I hate that people are blaming the friends who were also drunk. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I hope rescue team gets called off soon. Wasting resources. She will be presumed dead soon.

Her whole entourage was Indian-American.

Maybe the parents will start to understand their Indian-American daughters might actually now be more American than they are Indian. I believe many first-gen parents really struggle with that understanding.

Now we know why they prefer their daughters not be "americanized"

Anonymous wrote:Why didn’t the boy suddenly turn sober, regain his wits, fully comprehend what was happening in the pitch-black, and heroically swim out through the notoriously dangerous surf at that location to her rescue?

You know, like on BayWatch ?

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Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

They should have stepped in, took her by the arm and led her back to the room to sleep. I had to do this to a friend (we were in our 30's). She was drunk and some guy just "knew" he was hooking up that night. Yes, she was flirting and "all over him", but no way was that happening on "my watch". I came between them, told him to please move along because it wasn't happening tonight and took her back with me to our hotel room. Friends look out for each other. Sadly, her "friends" failed her that morning.

If her friends knew she intended to have sex with the boy, why did they not come by her room or the beach in the morning to see how it was going?

Instead, they just went on a day trip, and gave her privacy.

Ah, this one is interesting.
Do you want your friends coming by your room to see how sex with a random stranger is going?

Right? People here are out of touch.

The only person to blame for this tragedy is the girl. She made a dumb, bad choice and has paid the ultimate price.

It's devastating and maddening, yes, but the blame cannot be shifted to the hotel, her friends, or the guy she was with.

I can think of a dozen or more similar dumb, bad choices I made at her age, but I somehow survived. Luck was on my side each of those times. Here are just a few:
1. met a guy day 1 of spring break, hours of landing & checking into our resort when I was 19, and ditched dinner with my girlfriends to hook up with him
2. went night swimming in Punta Cana when I was 18 (or 20 - not sure which trip I did this)
3. met a local in DR & agreed to go out on his boat with him at night to look at the stars
4. got in a sketchy unmarked van in Chinatown with my friend while shopping for knockoffs. The van drove around the streets while we "shopped" inside. On the same trip, was guided down an alleyway to a secret entrance and walked through a literal sweatshop up 6 flights of rickety stairs to shop for knockoffs.
5. got super drunk in OCMD during beach week fresh out of HS & had to go to the hospital - my parents never found out.
6. was a passenger in a car multiple times with a driver who blew just under .08 using their little pocket breathalyzer b/c we didn't realize that .06 is still freaking impaired (and that those pocket breathalyzers aren't super accurate)

And bow do you know none of them could be "blamed?"

Because she made the choices.

She chose to stay behind and swim with the guy, probably to hookup.

It's not illegal for her friends to leave her alone with a guy.
It's not illegal for them to be on the beach that late even with the red flag warnings.
It's probably not illegal for him to not rescue her (I know in most US states it is not illegal for someone to opt to not helping a drowning individual).

I'm sure her family will get a big fat settlement from the resort, though. I don't think they should, but they probably will.

So American to boil it down to 💰
Sickening.

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Anonymous wrote:Yall stupid. Public school swim lessons have nothing to do with this. Thank god you’re not investigators!

VA failed to teach kids how to swim drunk. I blame the moral majority for not allowing the government to do its job!

This. The state of VA is absolutely to blame for not teaching her how to swim properly. In the dark. Drunk.

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Anonymous wrote:This story is so sad. I feel like girls especially have it drilled in their head to look out for their friends and yet this sort of thing happens. I wonder if she had known the boy for a few days so had an illusion of safety and so did her friends.

I really don't like blaming the friends. She clearly wanted to stay behind with him. It was after 5am and the friends wanted to go to bed at last. If she didn't want to go with them, please tell me specifically what they should have done.

My understanding is they took her phone so find my phone would show her in the hotel room. They were doing what she wanted.

Is this understanding from anything official or simply the game of telephone (pun intended) being played in this thread?

Nothing official. More likely she didn't want her phone to get wet or sandy, or it was dying.

Right. We just know she asked her friends to take it, several possible reasons why.

Im new to the phone theories. I assumed it was on the beach chair. So the girls have it? That’s unfortunate if true.

If you have an older teenage child, you might be aware that they DO NOT like being tracked by their parents. Some have no choice, the parents are controlling. If the parents are not, some kids usually elect to turn off location sharing because, surprise, they like privacy. In this case, if there is controlling parent and she wanted to fool them into thinking she was with her friends whose parents might be in contact with her parents, she gives friends the phone to throw them off the trail of her hormonal intentions.

Haven't you seen posts from mid-life adults who's 80 year old mother will call because middle aged child was at a doctor's office 3000 miles away and pesters about middle aged child's reasons for being at doctor's office?

This. She could turn off location, but then the tiger mom would start calling her friends in panic mode. She had no other option than send the phone with friends to send them off track. How sad. The phone perhaps would have saved her, we will never know. This is something young women should always do, have a friend check back on her every hour to see if she's good and if they don't hear back then time to get alert.

Overly controlling parents think their 20 year old daughter should not have some "fun" with a guy she liked. It's quite normal and she should be allowed to have safe fun. The phone is something she should not leave ever. I know young women who will go crazy if their phone reaches a certain level of charge and they will go out of the way to get it charged. I also know overly controlling parents who will enforce a curfew on their daughter at home when she is actually hooking up with random guys in college. Such parents think their daughter is a "good girl" or should be one. There is nothing that will make her a bad girl if she had some safe fun, they should be allowed to do that without overbearing parents tracking them every where.

I can’t believe that you think you have any insight into this poor, suffering family.

How about she left her phone because she could not take it swimming and thought it would get stolen if she left it in the chaise with her clothes?

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Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is shocked because she is Indian. Not within their culture to party and drink. I hate that people are blaming the friends who were also drunk. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I hope rescue team gets called off soon. Wasting resources. She will be presumed dead soon.

Who is shocked? Lol you dont know what is within their culture.

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is shocked because she is Indian. Not within their culture to party and drink. I hate that people are blaming the friends who were also drunk. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I hope rescue team gets called off soon. Wasting resources. She will be presumed dead soon.

Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is shocked because she is Indian. Not within their culture to party and drink. I hate that people are blaming the friends who were also drunk. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I hope rescue team gets called off soon. Wasting resources. She will be presumed dead soon.

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Anonymous wrote:Her friends really failed her.

By allowing her autonomy and giving her the privacy she requested?

I agree blaming the friends is uncool. They had no reason to think she'd do something dumb like swim in rough seas at night.

How do you know she *chose* to? Did reports say that? Eyewitnesses or video?

It’s you again. I went to McDonalds today. It’s logical to infer I chose to go there.

You’re not the feminist you think you are. Because something bad happened to this young woman, we don’t get to then decide it wasn’t the result of a decision she made. We don’t get to play women make decisions for themselves, but if something bad happened it must not be their fault.

There is evidence to indicate she chose to go in the water. There is zero evidence to support that any decisions made were not her own.

Look it's name calling poster thinking they know who someone is or if they are a feminist or not. YOU don't know what went on at that moment. Or were you at Riu for a McDonald's too?

I know that she drank at the bar for hours. Then went to the beach with her friends and two guys they met. I know she willingly went to the beach (on video), and her friends seemed the situation kosher enough to leave her and the guy and take her phone. I know the guy woke up hours later alone in the beach and stumbled back to hotel (on video). I know the friends thought she was with him, he thought she was with the friends. The only two people that will ever actually know what happened that moment are the two people that were there. No one else will ever know. Based on this fact, one has to infer from all of the other things we do know as a fact, that this was a terrible accident.

You can push the we don’t know argument as much as you want. But we do actually know quite a bit.

Yet you don't know what happened in the moments that actually need to be known. Good luck and may the family be okay.

Yes. As I said.

"The only two people that will ever actually know what happened that moment are the two people that were there."

No one knows if it was only the two people. Do you?

Do you know that she *drank* at the bar for *hours*? She was seen on a video footage at the bar drinking? For hours? Or she was at the bar for hour(s) having a drink or two? How do you know that there wasn't any activities that occurred at the bar (or even earlier that night) that led to the possible other things that took place at or near or elsewhere? You don't.

You actually have a mental illness.

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Anonymous wrote:I think everyone is shocked because she is Indian. Not within their culture to party and drink. I hate that people are blaming the friends who were also drunk. It’s like the blind leading the blind. I hope rescue team gets called off soon. Wasting resources. She will be presumed dead soon.

Her whole entourage was Indian-American.

Maybe the parents will start to understand their Indian-American daughters might actually now be more American than they are Indian. I believe many first-gen parents really struggle with that understanding.