Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 21:29     Subject: Re:Annoying moms
No one knows you are going through inside - people for the most part try to be respectful and handle it the best way they know. It's the best any of us can do.

No one will say the right thing to you all the time, just like you won't either to your loved ones. It's life, and it's annoying that it's being discussed on the annoying moms thread. If people are intentionally trying to hurt you that's annoying. Otherwise, 99% of the time IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU and they are dealing with their own struggles.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 21:19     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:

Yeah, um, what are we supposed to do, lament about how empty their life is because they don't have kids? I'm guilty of doing this because of all things, I'd think they'd want to feel better about the crappy stuff they won't have to go through if they never have kids. I mean, how else would you eventually come to peace with infertility? Maybe I'm Captain Insensitive, but it would make me feel better when I THINK the grass is greener, then realize it's not quite what it's cracked up to be.

And I'm sorry, I love my kids, but they will grow up learning that Dad and Mom need grown up time too, and that the love is there no matter what, even if Mom and Dad's world doesn't always revolve around them.


I agree with you - I was kind of pointing out to poster who said "Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh" that as a person who did not struggle with infertility (so far, only have one child) that it can be hard to navigate this. Unless we just don't talk about kids, period. But I am guilty of highlighting the hardships just because it's obnoxious to talk about how great being a mom is when someone is going through infertility.

I think the take-away from these last group of postings is though there are some standard rules to not be an asshole we all know, some of these issues are hard because you just don't know what a person wants to hear if they are struggling with something. And some of the time WE may have struggled with it, and are acting to another person how we wished people would have acted to us, but it may be the exact opposite of how THEY want to be treated.




You are misunderstanding. I babysit for my friend's kids all the time and even have weekly play dates with friends and their kids. I love their kids and I am always happy to lend a hand even if it's just listening to them talk about the struggles of nap time, cloth diapers, nursing two kids, hitting, not eating, colic, potty training, etc... Complain to me that it's hard, complain to me that it is a struggle. I know it is and I am happy to be supportive and helpful if I can be. Don't hide your struggles or your joys from me.

But don't insult me by saying, "oh these things are so hard that you are so much better off not having kids." 99% of the people that say this, say it as a joke. None of them would give up their kids if given the chance to do it over and not experience the struggles of parenthood. I'm sure that even on your worst day you still love your kids and can't imagine life with out them. So why pretend and say something you don't even believe, that I know you don't believe and that is so hurtful?

And no, trying to convince me the grass is greener is not how I'm going to move on. I'll adopt if I have to and for those that make the choice not to, they don't find peace by convincing themselves they are better off, they find it by discovering a new life other than what they had planned, rearranging their future and moving forward but not because they were convinced that kids are too difficult and miserable to be around.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 17:01     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Moms who complain about their children to other people and can't wait for the first chance to get away from them. Although I completely understand needing time your self, please think of what your child would think if they overheard you. And, please think of those who are suffering from infertiltiy and might over hear this as well - I've been there!


Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh.


Better than saying how awesome being a mom is and how they can't imagine not being a mom, etc.


Yeah, um, what are we supposed to do, lament about how empty their life is because they don't have kids? I'm guilty of doing this because of all things, I'd think they'd want to feel better about the crappy stuff they won't have to go through if they never have kids. I mean, how else would you eventually come to peace with infertility? Maybe I'm Captain Insensitive, but it would make me feel better when I THINK the grass is greener, then realize it's not quite what it's cracked up to be.

And I'm sorry, I love my kids, but they will grow up learning that Dad and Mom need grown up time too, and that the love is there no matter what, even if Mom and Dad's world doesn't always revolve around them.


I agree with you - I was kind of pointing out to poster who said "Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh" that as a person who did not struggle with infertility (so far, only have one child) that it can be hard to navigate this. Unless we just don't talk about kids, period. But I am guilty of highlighting the hardships just because it's obnoxious to talk about how great being a mom is when someone is going through infertility.

I think the take-away from these last group of postings is though there are some standard rules to not be an asshole we all know, some of these issues are hard because you just don't know what a person wants to hear if they are struggling with something. And some of the time WE may have struggled with it, and are acting to another person how we wished people would have acted to us, but it may be the exact opposite of how THEY want to be treated.

Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 16:06     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Moms who complain about their children to other people and can't wait for the first chance to get away from them. Although I completely understand needing time your self, please think of what your child would think if they overheard you. And, please think of those who are suffering from infertiltiy and might over hear this as well - I've been there!


Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh.


Better than saying how awesome being a mom is and how they can't imagine not being a mom, etc.


Yeah, um, what are we supposed to do, lament about how empty their life is because they don't have kids? I'm guilty of doing this because of all things, I'd think they'd want to feel better about the crappy stuff they won't have to go through if they never have kids. I mean, how else would you eventually come to peace with infertility? Maybe I'm Captain Insensitive, but it would make me feel better when I THINK the grass is greener, then realize it's not quite what it's cracked up to be.

And I'm sorry, I love my kids, but they will grow up learning that Dad and Mom need grown up time too, and that the love is there no matter what, even if Mom and Dad's world doesn't always revolve around them.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 15:56     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.


wow. WOW. stunned as well. Yeah, lets see---which is worse? Throwing up for 9 months or NEVER HAVING A BABY at all. Hmmm.

Shocked that someone is this self focused.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 15:52     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.


You know what, I'll take that deal and then some, I'll even take bed rest for the full 9 months and 48 hours of labor on no pain meds, that's how important having a child is to me.

I'm sorry you're having such bad hyperemesis and if you were my friend and complained about how sick you were, I would be very understanding, I'm not going to go in a corner and cry because I can't get pregnant and you are. But, acting like you'd rather not have your baby because you're so miserable or you wish you didn't have kids because it's so hard is different and that's what I was referring to. Moms and dads who act like we are some how better off because we don't/can't have kids because their pregnancy/kids are so terrible.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 13:17     Subject: Re:Annoying moms
Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.

If you think they're nasty....wow. Just wow. What an ugly person -I don't care how much you are puking.

Just a thought -maybe you shouldn't be complaining to them -and if you do and they something, have a little compassion. You expect people to be compassionate to you, but you can't deal in kind.

I am just stunned.





no kidding. do you pull out this little hyperemesis gem to a couple who has just miscarried as well? how about stillborn?
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 12:40     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.



Jealous much that you don't corner the market on suffering? And, that, heaven forbid, there might be something worse than throwing up for 9 months...like never getting to be a parent?

It would be nice if your hyperemesis lasts as long as your shitty attitude.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 12:30     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.


If you think they're nasty....wow. Just wow. What an ugly person -I don't care how much you are puking.

Just a thought -maybe you shouldn't be complaining to them -and if you do and they something, have a little compassion. You expect people to be compassionate to you, but you can't deal in kind.

I am just stunned.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 11:47     Subject: Re:Annoying moms
moms who say "parenting isn't easy or convenient!" this line is nothing other than a not-so-veiled criticism of your parenting style/choices/decisions while patting themselves on the back for being the type of parent who will walk across hot lava for their own child. if you're going to criticize, do it up front. don't just cross your arms and intone that "parenting isn't easy!" as if the subject of your criticism was one of your children.


moms who are always looking for the short-cut, magic bullet, or least painful way to deal with their own babies/kids because shouldn't it be a cake-walk? stop complaining and suck it up!
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 09:21     Subject: Annoying moms
Infertile women who don't understand the severity of hyperemesis and therefore they think that any complaining about it is outrageous and you should be thankful because at least you have the chance to throw up 20 times a day for nine months straight.

I hope you all get the baby you dream of...as well as a healthy dose of hyperemesis that doesn't end until two weeks after you deliver.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 08:11     Subject: Re:Annoying moms
moms who say "parenting isn't easy or convenient!" this line is nothing other than a not-so-veiled criticism of your parenting style/choices/decisions while patting themselves on the back for being the type of parent who will walk across hot lava for their own child. if you're going to criticize, do it up front. don't just cross your arms and intone that "parenting isn't easy!" as if the subject of your criticism was one of your children.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 07:28     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Moms who complain about their children to other people and can't wait for the first chance to get away from them. Although I completely understand needing time your self, please think of what your child would think if they overheard you. And, please think of those who are suffering from infertiltiy and might over hear this as well - I've been there!


Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh.


Better than saying how awesome being a mom is and how they can't imagine not being a mom, etc.
Anonymous
Post 09/08/2010 00:23     Subject: Annoying moms
Anonymous wrote:Moms who complain about their children to other people and can't wait for the first chance to get away from them. Although I completely understand needing time your self, please think of what your child would think if they overheard you. And, please think of those who are suffering from infertiltiy and might over hear this as well - I've been there!


Moms and Dads who know you are TTC and some who even know you have fertility issues and complain to you about how annoying their kids are, what a pain in the ass they are and then ask you "are you sure you want kids?" and then laugh.
Anonymous
Post 09/07/2010 23:50     Subject: Re:Annoying moms
Moms who refer to themselves and other mothers as "mommies."