Anonymous wrote:Race of girlfriend?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is she lazy in bed?
OP here. Thus has nothing to do with her being messy.
I think the person is asking if she is lazy about everything. She might not have the same housekeeping standards you do, but might be industrious in other areas.
Anonymous wrote:This is 2 years old
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I was a slob before marriage and children. But never cleaning, like not scrubbing bathroom ever, never vacuuming, never cooking, oh that will never change. Will be hard for you with children unless you can afford a weekly housekeeper plus carryout for 4 every night for dinner. I'd bail unless you have a lot of money.
OP here. I have high HHI but I’m not going to rider out every night. First, it’s unhealthy, and secondly, I want to teach future kids how to cook. I don’t do all the deep cleaning but I do my own laundry, cook, load and empty dishwasher, hand wash dishes, and clean up the house. Her housekeeper does all of the deep cleaning. I was not a messy person and didn’t think I needed a housekeeper every week. I might have to if I want to make this work.
I don’t want to break up because it’s not a deal breaker for me. I love everything else about her.
Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend is the same way... I've lived with her for 3 years and I've never once ever seen her so the dishes....one time I left them in the sink to see how long it would take for her to do them....the dishes stayed there for a whole month and a half before I took care of them.....I'm honestly beside myself on this subject...it drives me a absolute nuts.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some examples are leaving food out in the counter all day long, never cleaning her dishes, leaving food and cups all over the place, leaving her makeup and everything all over the counters, leaving her clothes all over floor. I’m a very neat person and I’ve never dated someone so messy.
OP here. Another thing is her awareness level is just not there. I will clean everything up ( doing it nightly) and she will eat a snack and leave everything messy again. When I ask her to clean it up, she acts bewildered like she didn’t even leave a mess.
I’m not super crazy but I do like a neat house. I make sure the kitchen is clean and things are nice and clean since I have a small condo and it can look messy easily.
You might be super crazy…to her. This isn’t an objective measure (to a point, your girlfriend’s cleanliness standards do sound borderline hazardous). It’d a compatibility issue, not a “I’m right you’re wrong” issue.
Also I bet she has adhd.
OP here. She doesn’t have adhd. I think she is used to others cleaning for her. She went from her mom doing everything ( her dad was also one who never cooked or cleaned) and then had a housekeeper clean for her until we moved in. She had said many times why I don’t just leave the mess for the housekeeper. I’m not leaving dishes in the sink for two weeks. That’s nasty.
Unless she's bringing housekeeper money to the table, I'd dump her. Honestly I probably still would because I wouldn't want my kids to be raised with this attitude - leave a trail of filth in your wake and wait for someone else to pick up after you. That's different from inattentive or just kind of messy, it feels more like a character flaw.
Anonymous wrote:I knew I’d found “the one” because I realized we perfectly complimented one another when it came to chores. I have no issue doing laundry and floors. He obsessed over the kitchen and lawn. We each have a bathroom we’re responsible for. It was completely unspoken and started when he was staying over a couple nights a week. He moved in a few months after that and now it’s been years.
The thing is, you will have chores to do the rest of your life. You’ll never get to stop picking up and cleaning the house unless you get a live-in housekeeper to look after you daily. If this bothers you now, imagine it down the line when you have a kid or two making a mess, a wife making a mess, a busy life.