Anonymous
07/07/2021 20:10
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.
Not OP, but I would rather be home with my kids. Not on vacation. I hate vacations. I find them too stressful. A week is more than enough. I would only a go a week, maximum. I prefer no vacations at all.
I, I, I... how are you so focused on what YOU like and want. You choose to be a mom, no? Sure, take time to do what you like and want, but come on, you and op are just self-centered people.
If you have anxiety and vacations are stressful, that is not bcs vacations are stressful that is bcs you are that type of person. Think about how you are in everyday situations. Be honest now, are you the cause of stress on vacations and not the activity itself? I grew up with a mom like you, the simplest activity turned into a nightmare stress fest bcs she created the stress.
No, I did not "choose" to be a mom. 50% of pregnancies are unplanned. I chose not to get an abortion. No one is missing out in life not going on a two-week vacation.
Your kids must know how you feel about them. They are "not abortions!"
My kids know they magically happened. I love them and am a good parent. But I have been perfectly happy not having kids at all. It was not my plan and an absolute shock both times.
Anyway, no one needs to go on a two-week vacation. One week is plenty. Stop shaming the OP that she NEEDS to go on a two-week vacation. It's ridiculous. I have not ever been on a 2-week vacation. Some people can't afford vacation at all. My parents never had vacations. It is a luxury for people. It is not a necessity. If she does not want to go, she shoud not feel obligated to go--especially for two weeks. Everyone--including a mother--is allowed to have her own needs and preferences and her family should respect that. She should not have to be a martyr for everyone else. I was raised that way...and it sucks. I don't put up with it anymore. Men don't. Why should women? She can have her preference for a week of vacation or no vacation. Her preferences should be considered by the family.
LOL, if that happened twice, that is a YOU problem, not a birth control problem. Maybe you aren't very smart?
It's called reproductive coercion and a spouse who refused to use birth control (after the first accident to which I said "I don't want to have a baby...get off me...but "no, it is not going to happen." Had no sex between kids for years and no sex afterward. I'm divorced now. I resent him. Yeah, I was an idiot for letting someone coerce me into sex the first time when I was off the pill for a day. And I regret having sex once more YEARS later and him refusing to pull out. Be glad you did not marry a jerk. This could have been anticipated.
I sure hope you called the cops on him? And you better not be on the diet forum ripping people apart for being overweight. Cause you know choices are your own? And only you are to blame? If you are one of the thin people blaming overweight people for their weight, you are the worst hypocrite in the world. After all, they only have some extra adipose tissue and maybe other health issues that are not harming anyone else. You are actively harming your kids who know they are "miracles."
Anonymous
07/07/2021 20:07
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If my dh told me gardening and not boarding the dog and work took priority over spending two weeks together, I would be upset and giving them grief too.
It's just two weeks OP. I am sure a neighbor would gladly look after the garden if you allow them to harvest the ripe tomatoes, and that some boarding facility will be available for your dog.
OP here. Wow, I'm surprised my little complaint got so much feedback!
It isn't that gardening, etc. take priority over spending two weeks together. It's that I'd rather spend 2 weeks together HERE instead of THERE. I cannot imagine asking my neighbors to take care of my garden and boarding the dog for 2 weeks seems cruel. I also don't have anyone available to take care of him; all good friends either have cats or allergies or will be on vacation themselves.
The vacation involves travel to my inlaws on the west coast and it's too expensive to fly out there twice in one summer to do two 1 week vacations. I didn't specify that because the inlaws aren't the issue; they are lovely people and we end up not spending too much time with them, as DH loves to run around with the kids to local sights, to the beach (yep, I hate the beach), and to visit his friends and none of it sounds appealing to me. It's just go-go-go. I can beg off on some of the excursions, but that just means staying in the house and reading or watching tv, which isn't what I want to do either. It will take up all my vacation time, my work will pile up (I'm not a workaholic, but I do have to work extra before and after time away), and I guess I like my routine. 1 week seems plenty. We usually go for about 1 week and I start itching to get back home about 2 days prior to our departure date, but he wants to extend, probably because we had to skip last year.
Well, that is pretty different than I hate vacations, I can't leave my garden and my dog and I am too stressed from going on vacations.
If you said you don't want to spend two weeks visiting his family and friends, I bet you we would all be on your side. So, which is it? You hate vacations or your just hate vacations that every single one of us would hate. Not a vacation but seeing his family and friends.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 20:04
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
OP maybe you could go for 10 days? I do agree about it being difficult to find quality dog care. I need to start working on that myself.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 20:03
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Some destinations simply don't work for a one week stay. Australia comes to mind. Sometimes you really need that extended period just to adjust to the time zone. As long as it isn't every family vacation, I think one member should be flexible.
This is not Australia. It is OP’s in-laws in the United States, but please, do go on.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 20:02
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.
I’m team OP for taking one week if that’s what she wants, but I don’t get this. There are a gazillion local places that board dogs, even more if you drive a bit farther. Is the dog like 19 years old and fragile or something?
You can't just show up at a reputable boarding place and drop your dog off there out of the blue. You have to provide vaccinations, book in advance for popular times of year, and a good one requires you to spend a day there for monitoring so you don't have a biter. Not all dogs handle the big facilities well - yes that would include old dogs, incontinent ones, dogs with a history of aggression, puppies who haven't had their shots yet, non neutered/spayed dogs etc etc. That facility might have a kennel available for most nights of your stay, but not all two weeks you are planning, which means you need to find a way to get your dog from one boarding place to another while you are away.
If OP can find dog care, I'm think he/she should go the full two weeks and simply be outvoted by the family on this one, this time.
Absolutely nobody said to drop the dog off “out of the blue.” Are you always this dramatic about dog boarding?
If you can’t find a kennel or facility close with the availability you need, call more places. If you don’t automatically assume defeat, you will find one. Nobody is talking about “Christmas or spring break.”
I still don’t think OP needs to be a mommy martyr and go for 2 weeks to her in-laws, however — dog or no dog.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:55
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Some destinations simply don't work for a one week stay. Australia comes to mind. Sometimes you really need that extended period just to adjust to the time zone. As long as it isn't every family vacation, I think one member should be flexible.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:54
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.
I’m team OP for taking one week if that’s what she wants, but I don’t get this. There are a gazillion local places that board dogs, even more if you drive a bit farther. Is the dog like 19 years old and fragile or something?
You can't just show up at a reputable boarding place and drop your dog off there out of the blue. You have to provide vaccinations, book in advance for popular times of year, and a good one requires you to spend a day there for monitoring so you don't have a biter. Not all dogs handle the big facilities well - yes that would include old dogs, incontinent ones, dogs with a history of aggression, puppies who haven't had their shots yet, non neutered/spayed dogs etc etc. That facility might have a kennel available for most nights of your stay, but not all two weeks you are planning, which means you need to find a way to get your dog from one boarding place to another while you are away.
If OP can find dog care, I'm think he/she should go the full two weeks and simply be outvoted by the family on this one, this time.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:49
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If op was a DH you would all be eating him alive for skipping out on family time to train for a race and do work
Since I'm not sexist I'll go ahead and rip OP a new one. Press pause on your life for 2 weeks and go on the trip.
+1000. If my spouse told me that his “race” or tomato plants took priority over a family vacation I would be pissed. It’s two weeks ffs.
A family vacation is planned by all adults in the family. It doesn’t sound like 50% of them are agreeing to two weeks.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:48
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.
I’m team OP for taking one week if that’s what she wants, but I don’t get this. There are a gazillion local places that board dogs, even more if you drive a bit farther. Is the dog like 19 years old and fragile or something?
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:45
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:When the kids are gone, which will be sooner than you think, you’ll regret not taking more time to be with them.
Very few DCUM parents (who generally aren’t working class, holding down 3 in person jobs) have not spent a hell of a lot of time with their kids over the past 15 months.
One week of vacation is fine.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:35
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My take is op is a workaholic who has little time for her family.
The dog seriously?
Boarding has been extremely hard to snag post covid. Lots of pent up travel demand.
Home based pet sitter. A friend of mine does this to make extra money, in her own home and has lots of repeat business. Sounds like OP just doesn't want to explore options.
I mean, I would understand if OP has a health issue and just doesn't want to chance travel right now. But because of the dog and garden? No.
The well regarded ones with references book up well in advance, and if OP is going at a popular time of year, it's possible that's not an option.
Our family had to cancel a trip this summer because we had no good options for dog care and were too slow in booking. Christmas, spring break we have to book months ahead.
The one thing OP might be able to find is a sitter who comes to the home, but that can be a risk for a long trip because you are so dependent on that person to show up, and of course that person has complete access to your home for an extended period of time. That type of care is a compete no go for our family.
Add in a pet who has a history of shyness or health issues etc and yes, I absolutely believe pet care for two weeks could be an issue.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:27
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My take is op is a workaholic who has little time for her family.
The dog seriously?
Boarding has been extremely hard to snag post covid. Lots of pent up travel demand.
Home based pet sitter. A friend of mine does this to make extra money, in her own home and has lots of repeat business. Sounds like OP just doesn't want to explore options.
I mean, I would understand if OP has a health issue and just doesn't want to chance travel right now. But because of the dog and garden? No.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:23
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:If there’s no good option for the dog, I’m not sure what the debate is. You can’t just take off without accounting for your pet.
This is a red herring. Whatever the dog is doing for a week, it can do for two.
Completely untrue.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 19:20
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:My take is op is a workaholic who has little time for her family.
The dog seriously?
Boarding has been extremely hard to snag post covid. Lots of pent up travel demand.
Anonymous
07/07/2021 17:20
Subject: I don't want to go on a 2 week vacation
Anonymous wrote:I can relate. I’m a total homebody and we have a very social cat who hates to be alone (and my DH would never agree to another cat). I feel so sad leaving her; even after a weekend away I can see that it’s been hard on her (we have a cat sitter twice a day). We will leave for 11 days at the end of the month and I just can’t get excited about it at all.
Just to add - after being at home the whole year my kids are eager for an adventure, the longer the better; that’s why we’re doing 11 days and flying across the country. They really are the driving force, and they want me there with them. I’m trying to focus on that when I get anxious about leaving.