Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 13:53     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Invite the parents to dinner and get to know them. Talk openly about your parenting style.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 13:31     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:Yes, so long as she’s on birth control and he’s also using condoms. I’d rather they have sex safely in one of our homes than somewhere else.


You’d set your daughter up to get laid at 15? Nice. Real nice.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 13:29     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I lost my virginity at my boyfriend's house while his mom was downstairs...
I wouldn't bother calling the parents.


I lost mine in my boyfriend's car in a church parking lot. If home was an option, we would have done that but we both had very strict parents. My parents believed I was still a virgin into my mid 20s.


Were you 15?


I was. Technically it was his parent's car.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 13:06     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.


+100% from mom of 15 yr old DD dating 17 yr old.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 11:25     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:With the amount of people that have hidden cameras all over their homes these days. Yes I'd be worried. I think the safe term is security cameras.


+1. I'd be more worried about my girl being filmed and the film being re-watched by members of their house.


Or the video used for cyber-bullying if they break up.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 11:24     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:With the amount of people that have hidden cameras all over their homes these days. Yes I'd be worried. I think the safe term is security cameras.


+1. I'd be more worried about my girl being filmed and the film being re-watched by members of their house.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 09:58     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
With the amount of people that have hidden cameras all over their homes these days. Yes I'd be worried. I think the safe term is security cameras.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 09:57     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.


That is really different. She faces zero risk of pregnancy. And compared to a heterosexual, her risk of contracting an STI from her lesbian girlfriend is vastly lower, even if they were to have “sex.”


It isn’t different. Stop saying that. It’s demeaning


NP. It’s true. You can say it’s demeaning, that doesn’t change facts.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 09:55     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:These discussions about teens and dating always make me wonder a little bit about what it is that parents really value and how they think you get there. If the goal is "no sex for teens" then basically you shouldn't let them out of the house. If they are getting in cars, going on walks, visiting friends (not just boyfriend's house) the opportunity will be there. It seems curious to me to put so much emphasis on limits/boundaries that are essentially meaningless in attaining that goal.
So what's the other option - actually I'd like my teens to respect and value themselves enough that they decide when they have sex and that they do it safely and with full consent. I want them educated, I want them confident, and I want them to own this very important part of themselves and treat it with respect. Everything we know about education and sex is this leads to better outcomes. But to do that you have to approach sex as a positive thing, not as a scary thing that nobody will talk about and you definitely can't go to your boyfriends house because what if....
Listen people, the average age to have sex for first time is 17. That means LOT of 15 and 16 year olds are getting busy. I'm gonna guess exactly nobody delays having sex because their parents impose arbitrary rules about whose house they can go to. Have the hard conversations, it's really worth it.


You don't get it. The Goal is NOT "no sex for teens". It's about boundaries, boundaries for a 15 year old girl.

Too much permissive and uninvolved parenting advice here.



The boundary you can’t go to your boyfriends house is a meaningless boundary hence just a platitude to make you feel good about your lack of parenting.


Please explain how "meaningless" of a boundary is when I tell my teen daughter she can't go to her boyfriend's house.

Please, your are worse than a teen!



Because she is still going to his house you just think she is at Karen’s. But your too dense to help her navigate this stage of her life because your head is in the sand.


Bless your heart, hon. Life 360. This isn’t 1995.

NP.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 09:34     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.


That is really different. She faces zero risk of pregnancy. And compared to a heterosexual, her risk of contracting an STI from her lesbian girlfriend is vastly lower, even if they were to have “sex.”


It isn’t different. Stop saying that. It’s demeaning
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 09:00     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I lost my virginity at my boyfriend's house while his mom was downstairs...
I wouldn't bother calling the parents.


I lost mine in my boyfriend's car in a church parking lot. If home was an option, we would have done that but we both had very strict parents. My parents believed I was still a virgin into my mid 20s.


Were you 15?
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2023 08:39     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 17, but we had sex in the back of my car often.
If my daughter has a boyfriend at 15, who is not yet driving, I would say no unless I knew the parents and they were on the same page in regards to an adult being home and generally aware of what was happening ( doors open, not hanging out in bedrooms, etc)
They are young. You need to be really in top of it. Asking a 15 year old to be on top of contraception and safe sex if asking a lot. Remove the possibility for as long as possible!


I agree. 16+, I would be more lenient. But 15 with no cars, you still have a fair amount of control. If I liked the boy and his parents seemed responsible, I would be ok with her going at 15 if I touched base with them that they would be home and around. I’d also talk to my daughter about sex and the negative it can have from engaging too young, as well as birth control and stds. Sex very well may happen regardless of boundaries so prepare her the best you can, but don’t make it super easy either.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 23:09     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:I lost my virginity at my boyfriend's house while his mom was downstairs...
I wouldn't bother calling the parents.


I lost mine in my boyfriend's car in a church parking lot. If home was an option, we would have done that but we both had very strict parents. My parents believed I was still a virgin into my mid 20s.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2023 22:56     Subject: Re:If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
I lost my virginity at my boyfriend's house while his mom was downstairs...
I wouldn't bother calling the parents.
Anonymous
Post 09/09/2023 06:20     Subject: If your 15 year old daughter has a boyfriend do you allow her to go to his house?
Anonymous wrote:My 15 year old girl is a lesbian. I let her go to her GF’s house, but the GF’s family chaperones them. I do not chaperone when the GF comes here.


That is really different. She faces zero risk of pregnancy. And compared to a heterosexual, her risk of contracting an STI from her lesbian girlfriend is vastly lower, even if they were to have “sex.”