Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

LOL that ship has sailed!

So a divorce and moving and changing schools and switching off custody is more stable?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

LOL that ship has sailed!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you were living a double life, and allowed to get away with it for years and years, would you? Would you pretend to be someone you are not? How far would you take it? Would you be willing to risk and involve your spouse, extended family and children, if needed? Would you act superior even though you are a fraud (would that be part of it)? Would you tell lies about other people to detract from your situation?

Curious about what makes people think that they fool other people, and to what extent they think they fool other people, especially if their family is involved. Also wondering how far people are willing to go.

I did it with two girlfriends for one year it was exhausting. Particularly around Valentine’s Day or New Years. In the end I got sugar in my gas tank, and almost arrested. It was only then I realized which life I would have liked better.

Apparently the second tier girl I was plan A. She freaked out as I dumped her and confessed what was going on. Well kinda of as left off a few details. She flipped out way more.

Now to add to madness I had a girl C. But I kinda dropped girl C around 10 months earlier. She flipped out even more. Apparently around nine months after break up she got sexually assulted and Blaimed me as if we worked out would not have been there.

I realized my double and at one point triple life was a headache

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.


That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.


I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?


PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Wow you have really rationalized this to yourself. Yes, most people don’t share every detail of their work day with their spouses, but most people aren’t cheating and lying about their lives to other people. Don’t pretend what you are doing is normal or acceptable. Like PP said, you sound sociopathic to someone extent, or you have a personality disorder.

I'm not pretending it's normal or acceptable - hence not telling anyone about it. That said, my husband is a mentally ill pain in the a** who prefers a platonic relationship with me, so no I don't feel much guilt and I think my choices are understandable when you hear the whole story. Still not "acceptable" or ideal, but understandable.

To another PP, no, no alcoholics or abuse in my upbringing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had an AP for 9 years. No one knows.

That's just it. The fact that a double life can possibly go on for years and years is flabbergasting.

The fact that the person doing it can act like they're not, is absolute sociopath/psychopath material.

I'm the person with the AP. I agree in the abstract it sounds sociopathic to compartmentalize that way, but in practice it seems relatable. We have alone time together every day at work and then we don't talk on weekends or evenings. Don't most people have a work life their spouse doesn't know every detail of?

PP again. In fact it's kinda like my workday is my pleasurable romantic relationship time and my home life is my work time coordinating and managing schedules and household.

Why not divorce? 9 years is a serious commitment and it sounds like you aren't happy in your marriage.

We both have kids and want to prioritize their stability.

Anonymous wrote:If you were living a double life, and allowed to get away with it for years and years, would you? Would you pretend to be someone you are not? How far would you take it? Would you be willing to risk and involve your spouse, extended family and children, if needed? Would you act superior even though you are a fraud (would that be part of it)? Would you tell lies about other people to detract from your situation?

Curious about what makes people think that they fool other people, and to what extent they think they fool other people, especially if their family is involved. Also wondering how far people are willing to go.