Anonymous wrote:Only officers and above allowed seats at holiday parties. Everyone else had to stand. Party was mandatory and spouses required. My pregnant Wife stood in heals three hours.

I was a head of dept. officer was a really high tile As was only like CFO, CEO, CIO, CTO, CRO etc so basically 95 percent if us stood

A mandatory party that my spouse was required to attend would be enough for me to quit, even if they had enough chairs.

Only officers and above allowed seats at holiday parties. Everyone else had to stand. Party was mandatory and spouses required. My pregnant Wife stood in heals three hours.

I was a head of dept. officer was a really high tile As was only like CFO, CEO, CIO, CTO, CRO etc so basically 95 percent if us stood

The department chair who told me I couldn't stay a minute beyond my duty day because others didn't have the option to work unpaid overtime, and I was making them feel uncomfortable with my work ethic, and making them "look bad." I was a teacher, by the way. It didn't come from a place of care, which I would have understood. I do know myself and know I can 'go go go' without allowing for recovery time, though it hurts no one but myself. Anyway, I found a school that took the opposite tact. They appreciated my hard work, and instead of penalizing or micromanaging me, encouraged me to take the occasional day off to get some rest because they valued me. I wish more employers worked with their employees' idiosyncrasies/needs instead of against them. I had a colleague at that first school with ADHD who needed to get up and move all the time when she wasn't teaching, and she was great at her job and great with kids; in fact, teaching was probably the perfect career for her. And nevertheless, her department chair (not the same as mine) told her she couldn't walk the halls between classes because it was "distracting and people were asking questions." She left that school shortly after I did, and actually ended up winning all kinds of awards in her new school. Again, whatever makes someone different is often their best trait. She was wonderful with neurodivergent learners, for example. But the work culture has to allow for that kind of variation among employees, and in fact celebrate it, not try to stamp it out. Anyway, the takeaway for me, which I often share with younger colleagues, is to plant yourself where you can grow.

Anonymous wrote:The interview, in which I was asked to discuss “the most inclusive person I know” and was then quizzed about my inherent racism and what I would contribute to the company’s “anti-racism” initiatives. I excused myself early and walked out. So grateful to find out from the get-go what kind of hell that company would have been.

Did the company name happen to start with a T?

Middle manager was brought in and had really bad anger management issues that continued to go unaddressed even when many of us filed complaints. I respectfully disagreed with him in a meeting and he threw a heavy binder at me, hard. I had witnesses, I filed a complaint, nothing happened and he was promoted. The day they told us I quit.

The interview, in which I was asked to discuss “the most inclusive person I know” and was then quizzed about my inherent racism and what I would contribute to the company’s “anti-racism” initiatives. I excused myself early and walked out. So grateful to find out from the get-go what kind of hell that company would have been.

A older male lab tech felt the need to comment on the appropriateness of my work attire as an female engineering intern. (I wore pants and polo/dress shirts, I think maybe my shirt rode up that day, so MAYBE there is a point about dress, but it was absolutely not within his purview to comment.)

A different older male sent out an email celebrating a recently deceased colleague, including a statement about how the colleague loved women and a picture of the colleague at a festival with a topless woman in the background. He was immediately fired, but what was he thinking.

I actually prefer when it is more blatant, cultures with microagressions are almost harder.

Anonymous wrote:Worked at a law firm with a ‘lawyers only’ dining room. I have other graduate degrees, but no JD, so if i wanted anything i was supposed to sneak in the back door of the kitchen and order there while remaining out of the lawyers’ sight.

Did you also have to back out of any room without taking your eyes off them or showing your back?!

Anonymous wrote:

Asked by my boss via Skype to “stay right there,I’ll be by to talk to you”. Waited by my desk for three hours...fearing she would come by the second I left. She never came by.

I just...this is so bizarre. Your behavior, not your boss's. Why not send a message 15" in saying "I had to get up from my desk--will be back at [X time]" or whatever is appropriate to the workplace expectations about availability?

Worked at a law firm with a ‘lawyers only’ dining room. I have other graduate degrees, but no JD, so if i wanted anything i was supposed to sneak in the back door of the kitchen and order there while remaining out of the lawyers’ sight.

The boss who hires her daughter, a fresh grad for an assistant position that turns into a full time position. The position was not advertised of course. She was “helping out” while she’s looking for a job. Uh huh.

Anonymous wrote:

Being told not to speak in any meeting unless being spoken to.

I was an adult with 10 years of experience and a Masters degree. I knew how to comport myself in a meeting.

This is me right now. Our boss expects us to IM / private chat anything we want to contribute to a meeting to her so that she can say it.

Waaat. Did you laugh at her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being told not to speak in any meeting unless being spoken to.

I was an adult with 10 years of experience and a Masters degree. I knew how to comport myself in a meeting.

I just got this treatment last week. Basically told not to speak or defend our processes. Then why even invite me to the F - ing meeting? I am retiring from this crap dictatorship of a federal regulatory agency in a little over a year. I can’t wait.

I’m shocked how often this happens. It’s demoralizing to think that the work culture has turned into this. I miss the days where senior level people solicited and encouraged feedback from everyone regardless of title. Now the workplace is nothing more than an ineffective hierarchy where everyone spoon feeds the hire ups and meetings are a series of feel good presentations that lack any real substance, they just “tell a story” and usually that story is whatever they think the boss wants to hear instead of what they should hear.

Anonymous wrote:Being told “don’t talk in a meeting. Just to sit there and look pretty” by my 70 yo manager, who had zero experience in the field.

Manager told me, “I wish I was a black woman so I could be doubly protected!”

My director told me I couldn’t go to lunch with people outside of my department.

My director called me while on vacation to yell at me because someone emailed me a position paper. I flipped out and yelled back at him that I don’t control the actions of others. The CIO ended up making my director call and apologize for his outburst (while he was still on vacation).

sounds like the director was jealous of you having contacts that emailed you the paper first? that shite is SO exhausting.

Two partners who sat at opposite ends of the hallway and yelled and screamed obscenities at each other from their doorways every time they had a disagreement. Another partner who couldn't speak a complete sentence without at least one f-bomb. I don't have a problem with swearing, but it was toxic and juvenile.