Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Isn't that life? Why begrudge someone's good decisions? From now on you make good financial choices so that your children can be one of those rich people. I grew up dirt poor, no food no clothes. We couldn't even afford a home phone. I take pride in being the first one in my family to make a good decision and potentially having the ability to have college savings and a home down payment for my kids. My good decision was not getting pregnant in highschool or shortly after and not marrying in my early 20s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

No, you did not make your money. You gained an inheritance. You see the difference? THAT is exactly what this whole thread is on about. The privileged folks who can't seem to recognize their own privilege. Inheritance that pays for college is privilege.

You are right! My bad, PP, He was so privileged to watch his dad die of cancer when he was a sophomore in high school! Thanks for setting me straight.

LOL. You got owned. Seriously, just take the L and move on. No one in this thread is talking about the hardship of a parent with cancer. We are talking about money. And your DH received an inheritance that put him way ahead of 99% of people financially. Just STFU.

My DH lost his father in elementary school. It was a tragic, violent death. He didn't get an inheritance so he grew up without a parent and no money. That's what we're talking about here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

No, you did not make your money. You gained an inheritance. You see the difference? THAT is exactly what this whole thread is on about. The privileged folks who can't seem to recognize their own privilege. Inheritance that pays for college is privilege.

You are right! My bad, PP, He was so privileged to watch his dad die of cancer when he was a sophomore in high school! Thanks for setting me straight.

LOL. You got owned. Seriously, just take the L and move on. No one in this thread is talking about the hardship of a parent with cancer. We are talking about money. And your DH received an inheritance that put him way ahead of 99% of people financially. Just STFU.

Mmmmm NP here and I disagree with the 99% figure. 99% of people don’t have college loans. It might make you feel better to imagine you are in the vast majority of people saddled with a ton of college debt, but that’s just not the case. The figure is closer to 15%.

Just remind yourself that nobody chooses to be born. You’re born into the family you’re born into and it is a totally random thing. Whether you were raised with money or not, whether you are attractive or not, weather you are healthy, smart, athletic, whether your parents had mental health issues or not etc. ALL of this is just...luck of the draw. Nobody gets to choose their windfalls. Nobody gets everything. Some people get nothing. Rich kids didn’t choose to be born into a family that would pass on money. They got lucky. If they don’t appreciate or understand the privilege it provides, that’s a different conversation. You can be jealous in the same way you may be jealous of someone who is more beautiful than you. They were also born into it. You can be resentful at the system that means wealthy people just get wealthier as money is passed from generation to generation. That is a flaw in the way our country organizes taxation. But should you resent them as people just because of their family of origin? I don’t know...

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Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. [b]What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. [i] I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

Phew. This response was everything. and the bolded is soo true and this is exactly the situation that Black Americans are in.

Give me a break

Seriously. What kind of dork kid “cruises around” in a 7 series? That is an old man car.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

No, you did not make your money. You gained an inheritance. You see the difference? THAT is exactly what this whole thread is on about. The privileged folks who can't seem to recognize their own privilege. Inheritance that pays for college is privilege.

You are right! My bad, PP, He was so privileged to watch his dad die of cancer when he was a sophomore in high school! Thanks for setting me straight.

LOL. You got owned. Seriously, just take the L and move on. No one in this thread is talking about the hardship of a parent with cancer. We are talking about money. And your DH received an inheritance that put him way ahead of 99% of people financially. Just STFU.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. [b]What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. [i] I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

Phew. This response was everything. and the bolded is soo true and this is exactly the situation that Black Americans are in.

Give me a break

Anonymous wrote:Work hard and do it for your kids.

Only if it was as easy peasy as that. Lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is a wealthy area in one of the wealthiest countries in the world. There will Always be people with more money than you, especially if you choose to live in an area that attracts wealthy people.

I’m middle class and grew up lower middle class and I just do not relate to OP at all. If you want to be wealthy, then go into a profession that generates high income or start a business (if you can tolerate risk). Not everyone will make I t, but not everyone gets to be wealthy just because they want to be. A few weeks ago there was a thread started by an Eastern European immigrant who lost everything to move here with the goal to become wealthy and is now successful. Surely OP had more advantages than her, no?

Also I don’t understand how people like OP are just now in adulthood realizing that life isn’t fair. I guess it is a helpful lesson learned much earlier in life by those of us who grew up relatively poor. At one point in college I remember feeling a bit jealous of all of the kids cruising around in Mercedes and BMW 7 series while I struggled to afford my busted Honda civic. I realized that It is not their fault that they have these things-if my parents were in the position to gift me a nice car, I wouldn’t say no. Resentment and entitlement are really toxic.

I don’t disagree with OP that life is much easier for those that come from wealth. but there are so many people in this country who come from modest backgrounds to wealth and success. I don’t think it is healthy to feel entitled to wealth just because there are others who have more.

I grew up lower middle class with many experiences of poverty thrown in (utilities turned off, didn't always have money for groceries so ate a lot of starch). I grew up knowing life was unfair and that everyone had more than my family. But I somehow believed I could boot strap my way out of it by working hard in school and working side jobs when I was old enough and throughout college. I was never jealous of the kids with BMWs because I knew I could earn that too, eventually. [b]What I didn't realize until I was well into adulthood was that people who started out several rungs higher up on the ladder would keep going,, thus staying higher up on the ladder. I wasn't going to "catch up" because I had more rungs to climb. [i] I'm in my 40s and from time to time still discover ways of thinking that I have which are just so different from people who grew up with a lot more. One example, I never learned how to ask for help, I believe I was supposed to just work harder, and harder, and harder. Hard work is definitely important, but in retrospect the kids in law school who did the best were the ones who spent a lot of times in professors offices, not the ones poring over the cases and their notes in the library (where I was).

Phew. This response was everything. and the bolded is soo true and this is exactly the situation that Black Americans are in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

If you are 100% self made and living in a $2M house with a $700k income, it took you a while to get there. You’re likely 50+.

I didn't say I was 100% self made. Both spouse and I grew up in safe neighborhoods and intact families. No substance abuse, violence, etc. Good suburban schools. All gifts from our parents who cared for us deeply. But - no trust funds, tuition paid for, or other things that are always mentioned.

The path to at least UMC wealth in the US is pretty simple. Be smart, work hard, have a stable marriage, and avoid human failings like substance abuse, crime, and the like.

If the path to at least UMC wealth is so simply most people would be able to achieve it. You're not as bright as you think you are.

And marriage is not going to happen for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

No, you did not make your money. You gained an inheritance. You see the difference? THAT is exactly what this whole thread is on about. The privileged folks who can't seem to recognize their own privilege. Inheritance that pays for college is privilege.

NP here, but honestly it seems that whoever has more than someone else is privileged. In that case everyone is privileged in some way, including you and me and that guy next to you.

Also, she did make her money. True, her husband didn’t have to pay for college, but still had to go out and earn a living. There is quite a bit of gray space between poor and rich.

I'm guessing he would have had that money even if his father hadn't died, unless his parents were divorced or his mother had died too. Even if it was life insurance, people buy life insurance based on what they expect to provide if they remain alive, don't they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are people living in shacks without clean water who resent your job and lifestyle. Its all perspective.

Truth. Ds at 7/8 would think we were sooo wealthy and it drove me nuts that he was in no way humble so I pointed out what we did not have- fancy cars, private schools, a big yard, fancy long vacations, household help, etc... He would get mad that I rained on his parade and yet I feel wealthy too because we can afford groceries and regular healthcare (wasn't always the case before kids). Its too relative and i wish he wouldn't think about the subject at all. It irks me that kids discuss the topic at all when its too faceted to explain well.

i remember a discussion with my brothers we were between 8 and 11 trying to figure out whether we were rich or poor. We lived in a blue collar company town so it was tricky--all the same houses although some people had new cars and their yards and houses were nicer than ours and some had crappier cars and yards and houses. I suppose there are kids who absolutely know they are poor and kids who absolutely know they are rich and a lot in between who try to puzzle it out, but I don't think you can stop kids from trying to figure out their point of view on this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

you seriously think that? We are wealthy in many respects - 700K HHI, $2M home, paying for kids colleges in full, and live in DC "proper". Spouse and I had loving, stable homes as children. My spouse got zero help from parents and was actually homeless for a while in college. My parents helped some, but college was mostly loans and scholarships. We are wealthy now, but no way did we get "everything handed" to us. And my bet is that you are WRONG a good chunk of the time. You seem incredibly judgmental.

If you are 100% self made and living in a $2M house with a $700k income, it took you a while to get there. You’re likely 50+.

I'm not PP, but similar, and, yes, we are 50+ and rented until our early 30s. In fact, most of the people I know in our DC neighborhood are similarly situated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Rich people love to tell the less wealthy to be grateful that at least they're not totally destitute. It's a great deflection from their leading role in perpetuating inequality.

No trust fund here. I am the first one to go to college in my family and my husband used money left to him when his dad died to go to college. We made our money. So sick of people like you.

OMG this is so classic

To be clear, you are resentful of a kid who watched his dad die of cancer in high school? Got it. Sorry he was so much luckier than you to have his education paid for. Sorry your parents didn’t die, too..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am resentful of all the rich people who get down payments and college savings handed to them. Meanwhile here we are working like little bees getting nowhere.

Honestly, I feel the same way and have to check myself. My bias is that most folks living in DC proper likely had down payments, tuition, and everything else handed to them and are sitting on trust funds/inheritance. I immediately dislike these folks and assume that they're worthless lazies and hyper pretentious. Yes, that's my bias and I try not to hire or interact with these folks. Am I right all the time? No. Am I right a good chunk of the time? Yes. Does it change anything? Not really. All you can do is keep working, OP. Raise your kids to be hard workers and hopefully keep them from being the handout, trust fund kids that we see so much of in this area. Honestly, you're likely more pleasant to be around anyway

You think that most people in DC have trust funds?

As for being pleasent o be around . . yikes. Have you checked out a mirror lately?

- No trust fund here, just a hard worker.

+2 in this household. You are actually wrong most of the time on this issue.