I love our son’s name — Ben — but thinking he should start going by Benjamin. He’s a super nice kid and everyone says Ben is a “nice guy” name.
I just worry he’ll be walked all over due to his name. Should we have named him Alex or Michael?

Anonymous wrote:I don’t regret my children’s names at all but I do have “the one that got away”. We ended up only having 2 kids but I had always assumed we would have 3. I had the perfect girls name tucked away and I actually wince when I think about the fact that I will never use it. Makes me sad!!

I must know what this unused name is! Mine is Beatrice. I know it’s trendy now, but it wasn’t when I suggested it for our DC a decade ago. We wound up having a boy. I always thought we’d have a second and if a girl, she would have been a Beatrice. Life took a different turn but I still think about the Bea that wasn’t.

I don’t regret my children’s names at all but I do have “the one that got away”. We ended up only having 2 kids but I had always assumed we would have 3. I had the perfect girls name tucked away and I actually wince when I think about the fact that I will never use it. Makes me sad!!

Anonymous wrote:To the PPs with common first names -- my name is Emily, which was the top girl's name for more years than I can count, and I think was only replaced by Emma. It's still incredibly popular! I went by "Emily6" at a sports camp in high school because there were so many of us. My name is so common that I have met multiple women with my exact same full name (First Middle Last). Crazy popular.

Yesterday I went to the doctor and the person who checked me in read my name, smiled, and said "Oh, that sounds like a celebrity name." I laughed but she was definitely being honest. It was really sweet.

Other people don't experience your name in the same way. They just hear the name itself, they don't hear the years of feeling like one of many. You just have to let it go.

Names can also change how they are perceived over time. For example, I am an Emily born in 1974 and only really knew one other person with that name growing up. I still have to get used to the fact that it was so popular for such a long time when I was in my 20s and people were naming their babies that left and right. The Emily in the thread above had a completely different experience than I did with the same name, only separated by probably about 15 or 20 years.

Anonymous wrote:We named our son John, goes by Jack. I’ve been surprised to learn how many people don’t know that Jack is a standard nickname for John. It causes problems sometimes. Oh well.

Jewish people don't use the name John. Just Jonathan (Jon). My grandfather was Jack. It was not short for anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter's names -- they are both timeless and very cool. Work in a lot of cultures too.

No what I regret is not having changed MY name as soon as I was able -- because it sucks donkey balls and I swear I have never forgiven my parents.

I literally think I would have had a better life with a better first name.

Ha I hate my name too. Once I tried to go by my middle one though and I kept ignoring people when they said my middle name. So I’m back to my awful name. At least I gave it a go.

Guys, my name is Karen. I always hated my name and now with this whole "a Karen called the cops on a black person for existing" stuff, I dislike it even more.

I’m a 40yo Karen. It was a family name. My mom has always loved it and I spent my entire childhood asking for a different name. In college I definitely thought about changing it...now, oh all the Karen memes...my mom officially admits it hasn’t aged well.

My kids really fit their names to me, but the names became trendy. I hate that. I wanted to with a name from my culture but was pressured by my husband and his parents to go with western names. I gave them ethnic middle names. Now my 11 year old gas adopted her middle name as a nickname with her close friends. There are other kids in her class with her first name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter's names -- they are both timeless and very cool. Work in a lot of cultures too.

No what I regret is not having changed MY name as soon as I was able -- because it sucks donkey balls and I swear I have never forgiven my parents.

I literally think I would have had a better life with a better first name.

Ha I hate my name too. Once I tried to go by my middle one though and I kept ignoring people when they said my middle name. So I’m back to my awful name. At least I gave it a go.

DP. I technically like my name, but HATE, HATE, HATE how common it is. I’ve never forgiven my parents either.

Jennifer? Sarah? C’mon, spill the tea!

Np but I’ve posted on this thread about hating my name- it’s Ashley. I always have known dozens. It just doesn’t fit me. I’m more classic. I hate that there’s no nicknames. Dh hesitated about dating my because he’d already dated 2 other Ashleys! I also hate at work that everyone knows my age immediately.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes. We went with a very conservative, classic first name. Balanced it with a unusual middle name, so he could use either. Kinda wish we had gone a bit more out of the box, but very glad we picked names at either end of the spectrum, so he has two supper different choices. Or maybe he will just be like a friend I had in HS who decided to give himself the nickname, Buck. That name stuck like glue and followed him to college. I heard he hated it eventually.

You think your child will just start going by his middle name at some point? Random.

DP. Why not? I would consider the possibility if mine weren’t a surname.

I haven’t known anyone who switched names (not just nn to full name) who I didn’t think had psychological problems. It’s strange.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter's names -- they are both timeless and very cool. Work in a lot of cultures too.

No what I regret is not having changed MY name as soon as I was able -- because it sucks donkey balls and I swear I have never forgiven my parents.

I literally think I would have had a better life with a better first name.

Ha I hate my name too. Once I tried to go by my middle one though and I kept ignoring people when they said my middle name. So I’m back to my awful name. At least I gave it a go.

DP. I technically like my name, but HATE, HATE, HATE how common it is. I’ve never forgiven my parents either.

Jennifer? Sarah? C’mon, spill the tea!

Haha, I’m a foreigner, I can’t. It’s well known, but “try hard” in USA.

We named our son John, goes by Jack. I’ve been surprised to learn how many people don’t know that Jack is a standard nickname for John. It causes problems sometimes. Oh well.

I regret the order of my kid’s names. We picked a very common classic name (in last 50 years, top 20 and many years top 10) that was on both sides of our families. And a very unusual (not top 1000 until the past 2 years and still in the 700’s) but easy to pronounce ethnic name from my family. We both agreed to call him by the ethnic name. Since we were going to call him ethic name, I wanted Ethnic Classic Last. But DH was worried that as he got older he would hate the ethnic name and how unusual it is. So he wanted Classic Ethnic Last.

We fought for months. And reasons were logical (make life easier) his were emotional (he had a nickname (not related to his name at all) growing up that he HATED and was glad to be able to use his classic first name). So I caved.

I hate having to correct people all the time. I hate that when I’m waiting and his name is called I don’t react to it until they’ve said it 4-5 times. If DH would let me, I’d totally legally change the order of his name.

Anonymous wrote:We named our daughter Astrid after my wonderful, warm Danish grandmother who died shortly before our child was born. I thought it was a beautiful name, and sweet nod to the woman who helped raise me and our family's heritage. Many friends seemed somewhat tepid about the name initially, but I didn't regret my choice until about eight months later when The Office had an episode full of crass jokes about a baby Astrid. Everyone, everyone, everyone seemed to bring it up to me. Maybe it was postpartum depression or an overreaction, but that sent me into a tailspin. I was embarrassed of our choice for months, and even explored how to change her name before deciding to just shut out the jokes and detractors and move on. It's twelve years ago now, but I still remember the sting. The name really suits my daughter now and she likes it, but I wish that I had navigated those early years more smoothly.

Oooh I love the name Astrid! I lived in a Scandinavian country for a while as a kid an had a friend with that name who was the best, and Astrid Lindgren wrote Pippi Longstocking. Your daughter is lucky!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my daughter's names -- they are both timeless and very cool. Work in a lot of cultures too.

No what I regret is not having changed MY name as soon as I was able -- because it sucks donkey balls and I swear I have never forgiven my parents.

I literally think I would have had a better life with a better first name.

Ha I hate my name too. Once I tried to go by my middle one though and I kept ignoring people when they said my middle name. So I’m back to my awful name. At least I gave it a go.

DP. I technically like my name, but HATE, HATE, HATE how common it is. I’ve never forgiven my parents either.

Jennifer? Sarah? C’mon, spill the tea!