Anonymous
Post 01/14/2021 03:07     Subject: Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: men that cheat usually aren’t meeting their wive’s needs.

Again, good wives and mothers are cheated on every day. It’s not about them. It’s about him.

It’s disgusting you still lay the blame on the victim.


Thank you!


This! I love what was said above that cheating guys aren’t meeting their wives’ needs. Hadn’t thought of it that way but it’s true. Guys cheat because that’s who they are. It has nothing to do with anyone else.


Guys cheat because they need sex. Guys who get sex with their wife rarely cheat. Guys who don’t get sex with wife almost always cheat.
Your attempt to make this a moral issue or ascribe blame are totally irrelevant.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2021 03:01     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?


You say that as if a normal man could stay faithfully in a sexless marriage. Nope. That’s not even an option. In a sexless marriage, man’s only choices are to divorce or to cheat. So cheating indeed means nothing to lose.


It's telling you haven't jumped on the recent thread from the guy whose wife had been cheating on him for 2 years and asked if he was having sex with his wife.


It’s unlikely that he was sexually rejecting his wife. Women rarely cheat due to an uninterested husband. Women cheat for other reasons.
But if he WAS rejecting her, then her cheating is completely justified and 100% expected.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 21:16     Subject: Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:Newsflash: men that cheat usually aren’t meeting their wive’s needs.

Again, good wives and mothers are cheated on every day. It’s not about them. It’s about him.

It’s disgusting you still lay the blame on the victim.


Thank you!


This! I love what was said above that cheating guys aren’t meeting their wives’ needs. Hadn’t thought of it that way but it’s true. Guys cheat because that’s who they are. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 18:19     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?


You say that as if a normal man could stay faithfully in a sexless marriage. Nope. That’s not even an option. In a sexless marriage, man’s only choices are to divorce or to cheat. So cheating indeed means nothing to lose.


It's telling you haven't jumped on the recent thread from the guy whose wife had been cheating on him for 2 years and asked if he was having sex with his wife.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 18:15     Subject: Affair-proof your marriage
Newsflash: men that cheat usually aren’t meeting their wive’s needs.

Again, good wives and mothers are cheated on every day. It’s not about them. It’s about him.

It’s disgusting you still lay the blame on the victim.


Thank you!
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 18:14     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When he’s 50 get back to me.

Married 24-years. Sex always no less than 3-4 times per week.

Not a nag. Smart, funny, incredibly fit, hot and being home $200k year. Great mother.

Best friends.

My therapist just had this conversation with me when I said “wtf, I did everything right”.

Her answer: affairs are never about the one betrayed. It’s what is wrong inside of the cheater.

Like OP, nobody wants to believe that, because it would mean we have no control.

Sorry, you don’t. Look at some of the incredibly beautiful and talented and warm women you read about cheated on all the time.

It does women a GREAT disservice to be blamed.


In fact, some men chose women like this so they can undermine them. Like people who work other people to death and never appreciate them, but enjoy the care and attention immensely.


A narcissists dream. They hand pick decent people because they know they would never think they are capable of the things they do.

It's true that women are raised to believe if they do everything right they will never be cheated on. That is not true. After the shock wears off, you actually realize none of this matter, he was going to do what he was going to do. It never was about you. It's what's in him.

And, SMG is such annoyance that he keeps perpetuating the blame on wives. He doesn't get laid so he makes the incorrect assumption no cheaters get laid. This talk is abusive to victims.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 18:09     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:When he’s 50 get back to me.

Married 24-years. Sex always no less than 3-4 times per week.

Not a nag. Smart, funny, incredibly fit, hot and being home $200k year. Great mother.

Best friends.

My therapist just had this conversation with me when I said “wtf, I did everything right”.

Her answer: affairs are never about the one betrayed. It’s what is wrong inside of the cheater.

Like OP, nobody wants to believe that, because it would mean we have no control.

Sorry, you don’t. Look at some of the incredibly beautiful and talented and warm women you read about cheated on all the time.

It does women a GREAT disservice to be blamed.


In fact, some men chose women like this so they can undermine them. Like people who work other people to death and never appreciate them, but enjoy the care and attention immensely.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 18:05     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?


You say that as if a normal man could stay faithfully in a sexless marriage. Nope. That’s not even an option. In a sexless marriage, man’s only choices are to divorce or to cheat. So cheating indeed means nothing to lose.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 17:02     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?


NP - losing half the marital assets a half time with children is a he deal. But a bitchy wife and a sexless marriage can drive men over the edge. Yes, plenty of men who have affairs have a nice wife and get plenty of sex. But most men in a happy marriage aren’t going to screw around.


And sometimes the bitchy wife in the sexless marriage is the one having the affair. Ask me how I know...
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 16:32     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?


NP - losing half the marital assets a half time with children is a he deal. But a bitchy wife and a sexless marriage can drive men over the edge. Yes, plenty of men who have affairs have a nice wife and get plenty of sex. But most men in a happy marriage aren’t going to screw around.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 15:22     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:Man here, while I don't speak for all men, in general there are definitely things you can do to reduce the chance of getting cheated on. It's basically common-sense. Be a good loving spouse and keep him sexually interested and satisfied. Men are still going to be tempted and some will cheat even if you do all the right things. But its also true that the more he has to lose, the less likely he will cheat. He has nothing to lose if he is sexless.


how do you see losing half marital assets and half time with your children as nothing?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 15:20     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP- why do wives cheat in numbers as great as husbands nowadays?


Wives cheat for entirely different reasons. Rarely is it due to her husband rejecting her. More likely she’s bored with him and needs the novelty of an exciting new man. It’s kind of hard to affair proof that.


That little gem I bolded is 99% of the reason men cheat. You don’t think men get bored with the same person (no matter how wonderful she is) over time? It’s why most affairs happen in midlife (men 45-55 are peak ages).

You are funny with your little theories. I really worry what will happen to you later in life when you realize you have no control over another person’s actions.


Men DO get bored. But men's sex drive is strong enough that, despite the boredom, men STILL want sex with their wives. MOST men who cheat is not because of boredom (yes, he is bored) but because the wife sexually rejects him.

A bored wife has zero interest in sex with her boring husband. Women's sex drive is not strong enough to overcome that hurdle.

Again you are stuck on the "blame" issue which is irrelevant to preventing an affair.


It's more likely than most men who cheat will have sex with their wives AND with whoever else they are sleeping with. Most men cheat because an opportunity presented itself. Very few men would turn down sex if there are no expectations attached and if there is a reasonable chance of secrecy. Sorry to burst your bubble that sexually satisfied men don't cheat.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 15:18     Subject: Affair-proof your marriage
Anonymous wrote:I posted this on the cheaters thread and thought others may find it interesting. It is very simple. Marriage is an enormous financial burden and investment for men. For a man to put everything at stake to have an affair, it just tells me how unhappy he must be in his marriage. The following advice has helped myself and at least two women I know save their marriages:

- Love and respect your husband- Men are not like women. Respect and admiration is like OXYGEN to them. They want to be admired and looked up to by their women. It is in their DNA. Praise him. Tell him how accomplished and successful he is. Men are like children who want to impress you and seek your approval.

- Frequent sex- If you don't sleep with him he will find 5 other younger and hotter girls on Tinder who gladly will.

-Stop criticizing him-What may seem like a simple suggestion to you reads like criticism to him. Over time it builds up and he thinks you do not like or respect him. It makes him feel emasculated.

-Let him has his way sometimes. He always lets you have yours.

- Be feminine- Do your hair. shave your legs. Sometimes he wants to see the girl he fell in love with

I would be willing to bet that there is no man who would willingly step out on a happy and healthy marriage.


You are very silly. Very few men think of this as "stepping out" on a marriage. Most men who cheat have no intention to divorce or leave their family.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 09:57     Subject: Re:Affair-proof your marriage
The breakthrough came when they discovered that the few philandering prairie voles carried a particular gene


Best part of this thread!
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2021 09:53     Subject: Affair-proof your marriage
OP, I hope your MAGAt DH is not being charged for the Jan 6th attack on America.

You keep doing you, Sweetie. Also, take the other PP's suggestion and look into vag rejuvenation.