Sarah, Emily, Thomas

Anonymous wrote:Theodore
Oliver
Atticus

You and your DH met at a Yo La Tengo show at the Black Cat in 2002. It was your first visit to its new location. "Watch, 14th St is going to be so different in a few years," he said, both hopefully and ruefully. When you decided to move in together the following year, you reluctantly agreed to buy on S St. and HOLY SH!T, was that a wise move. When you sold it in 2011 and moved to Cleveland Park, you cried harder than you cared to admit. You blamed it on the pregnancy hormones, but really, what would life BE like now, with a second kid? Living up THERE? Secretly you were already planning for a third, and you were deliciously scared about it.

As you packed up the last few items, you thought about that time you both got pretty drunk at Asylum (RIP) and took a cab (because there was no Uber then) to the Jefferson Memorial to ironically play "tourist" at midnight. He showed you the most perfect vintage diamond ring and couldn't quite get the words out, so he kind of mumbled "soooooo?" and you started cracking up. He looked heartbroken for a moment, but then realized you were hysterically laugh-crying, and so was he, because he really wanted to ask you the next morning at home, but a little voice told him to bring the ring along that evening. And in that September moment, everything was so perfect that he didn't want to wait.

You got married in your hometown of Pittsburgh and his family (Boston) was (for once) polite enough not to initiate any Patriots-related teasing to your family full of die-hard "Stiller" fans. You wedding song was YLT's "Sugarcube," of course.

Anonymous wrote:Brooke

This is you. When you were in college you got scouted for modeling and went to an all day shoot. The photographer liked you and you spent several hours having your photo taken, but afterwards a producer began flirting with you. You tried to get away but he followed you several blocks. To avoid him you walked up to the first guy your age outside a coffee store and said “hey honey”. The producer tried to stalk you several more times, but Greg always came to the rescue. Just as you were thinking Greg was into you, turns out he wanted access to your even hotter friend Marlene. He and Marlene are married now and your forty and single. You stopped modeling long ago, now you work for a nonprofit and have a great condo. A few days ago you went swimming in your buildings pool and a guy was checking you out. You said hello and he said your bikini was loose and lower part of your’e boobs were showing. Whoops.

Anonymous wrote:Rachel

She’s your best friend and you go everywhere together, cary matching purses, get chai after school, rewatch friends over and over. She loves her namesake. You have a small dog named Toby, husband works in big law and isn’t home much so it’s just you and your girl all day long. Your mother always said having a child was fun because you got to dress them up, she was so right.

Brooke

Rachel

Anonymous wrote:Victor and Mateo

You and husband met while on pececrops mission in Costa Rica. You were raised in Portugal and find american men sexy.

Anonymous wrote:Winter

He’s a freshman and resents his eccentric nam amidst all the James and jacks. He does well in school, especially loves photography, but isn’t doing well socially. Your house is a bungalow, updated to look like a farmhouse before you bought it. You grew up on a dairy farm in Minnesota, you used to love the way snowflakes landed on your nose and always loved the energy of winter.
Two poodles, Black and Tan. When you were in college you wanted to design fashion, but settled for a good paying accounting job. You go to outdoor yoga four times a week.

Anonymous wrote:Calvin

You live in a 680 sq ft apartment in San Francisco. You have a blog called “Cal in Cali” about the life of your amazing son. He’s six now and you and husband fought hard in the school lottery to get him into the high asian population school. If he’d been a girl, Esther because that sounds old but cool. He plays with only wooden toys and has maybe eight. His bed is also your bureau, but that city life.

Anonymous wrote:Lucy, Veronica, Olivia and Rosalind

Blended family. Veronica and Rosalinds mim thought their names were punk and chic but now Roni is wearing a biker jacket to school and your old worlds parents are worried she’ll start “doing things with girls” Lucy and Olivia both dance, this year they were going to be party guest and snowflake in the nutcracker. When Ros isn’t teasing them they still play with their tea set and pretend to be English dames. Your marriage is happy, but ex dad is trying to vie for his girls attention since you replaced him with a new husband in big law.

Anonymous wrote:Roland

Your great grandfather was a solider in World War One. On the battlefield one day he came face to face with a german, they battled for thirty minutes or more before his army buddy knocked the guy out with the barrel of his gun and they finished him off. Your great grandfather pick echo his watch with had his names carved in the back. After the war he changed his name to the one on the watch and assumed a new idnentity. You named your son after him.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The contraction for “you are” is “you’re,” not “your.”

Well now you know how bad my English is. I’m going to retire and see if anyone else wants to pick this up. My name is Karolina and I publish college themed r rated romance novels under an assumed name. Originally from a different country, I was kicked out at nineteen for a bad fight with my parents. I loved the original of this thread, but I pale in comparison to the original writer. Anyway, happy new year!

Karolina.

The barista at the Ashburn Starbucks thinks Karolina is a mail-order bride, because of her accent and the fact she’s 20 pounds skinnier than all the other soccer moms. But no. Karolina actually has a degree in electrical engineering. She wanted to study literature, but she knew a STEM career was the only way out of her one-donkey town.

If she had her way, she would cover her body in tattoos to stick it to her crucifix-wielding mother. But Karolina is a reasonable person so she only has a helix piercing that got infected. It healed with a bump. Will not tuck hair behind her right ear for this reason. Her husband is still wondering how he convinced her to marry him when she could have snapped her fingers and married any of the guys at the star trek convention in brussels.

The barista thinks nobody has noticed, but Karolina knows she changes the dates on the pastries so she can take the “expired” baked goods home. The assistant manager will fire her, when he feels like doing the paperwork.

Winter

Roland

Lucy, Veronica, Olivia and Rosalind