Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, "where are you from?" is really vague question. My answer will depend on the context. it might be better to ask the question you want answer, which is "where were you born/raised?"

+1. OP, I, like you, are from DC and still live here, which makes that an easy question for me. My mom, though, was here until she was seven, moved to California, then came back here to get married. How should she answer the question? My DH was born in Denver and then spent 2-3 years there, then Milwaukee, then Albany, then New Jersey because his dad couldn’t hold a job. How should he answer the question?

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, "where are you from?" is really vague question. My answer will depend on the context. it might be better to ask the question you want answer, which is "where were you born/raised?"

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I live in LA. When I ask people where they're from, a lot of people will say LA. I will say, "You're FROM LA?" and then they'll usually answer they're hometown. The locals are used to being somewhat "rare" and dont mind you asking twice.

I have to say, I've noticed it's only people from small towns who do this. Never have I seen someone from New York or Chicago or other major cities give LA as their hometown. It's always someone from a one-stoplight place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In college, I dated a boy who told me that he was from San Francisco, just like I was. He said he had gone to high school in Marin, which is why I'd never seen him around. San Francisco does not have a large youth population, so public high school kids pretty much knew each other if you were involved in the social scene. We'd talk about the different restaurants we liked and tell different stories about the city life.

Eight months later, I find out that it was all a lie and he only said that because he wanted a way to connect with me. He'd visited a few times so he knew a little about the city, but i feel hard for it.

Bingo. This is exactly what I'm talking about. I always side eye people who cant be honest about such a simple question. It's hard to build trust or a friendship if someone wont be honest about something so foundational and basic

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Anonymous wrote:OP, you don’t have to respond to every post.

When you ask the question, people are not lying, they simply don’t understand what you are asking as it is a generic question. If you want a specific answer, ask a specific question.

Again, most people are not lying, have insecurity issues, are embarrassed —- they simply don’t know you want to know they’re home town.

What a strange hill to die on.

I mean... "where are you from?" is pretty specific. But like I said, I can shift over to "where did you grow up" if so many people are going to be disingenuous.

But I dont think the real answer is confusion. It's a simple answer, except for those who grew up in multiple cities (which i totally get)

I think the posters talking about now wanting to be judged for where they're from are the ones actually being honest. And I can at least respect THAT honesty

The thing is, as many people have pointed out, it's not. It's meaning depends on the context. You refuse to accept this even though every normal person understands it, because it's really important to you, for some reason I cannot begin to imagine, that people be ashamed of not being from a city.

it really is. And the deliberate "Huh? I dont understand the question" ignorant act is pretty crazy. Unless you grew up traveling from place to place, you knew where you grew up.

Anyway, i will start asking "where did you grew up" to cut out the BS. I already said several times I have no problem doing that at all, since that will cut the song and dance

My kids thus far have grown up in 2-4 countries each. At different points in their lives, different cultures had an impact on them. So did my culture (from Europe) and their father's culture (from the US). Where is it correct for them to say they grew up, according to you - especially if they don't feel like being vague or telling you their whole life story?

As I said, I understand military people or people that moved around a lot might not have the simple answer to this question- I have no judgement for them. But I think you could easily say something like "They've lived in several countries, the most recent was ___" or "several countries, the longest time being in ____". Whatever you feel is the most accurate answer for the place that shaped them the most/they spent the most formative years in

Anonymous wrote:I grew up outside one big city (18 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
after college, moved to live in a different big city (15 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
spent a few years in a place I didn’t like and few ties
now live outside of DC (12 years growing on me!)
When people ask I say those locations (not the liked hated parts).

If they ask more I get specific. But sometimes that’s also too much and they we’re just making chit chat and now they heard more than they cared to know.

Anonymous wrote:What a dumb conversation. Context matters.

If it's a random foreign colleague, I will tell them I now live in DC (the city....not the 'burbs) and grew up in Southern California.

If it's a fellow Californian, I'll them the name of the city.

If it's someone else from SoCal, we will talk about which high schools we attended.

Anonymous wrote:I grew up outside one big city (18 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
after college, moved to live in a different big city (15 yes loved it and still have strong ties)
spent a few years in a place I didn’t like and few ties
now live outside of DC (12 years growing on me!)
When people ask I say those locations (not the liked hated parts).

If they ask more I get specific. But sometimes that’s also too much and they we’re just making chit chat and now they heard more than they cared to know.

Anonymous wrote:In college, I dated a boy who told me that he was from San Francisco, just like I was. He said he had gone to high school in Marin, which is why I'd never seen him around. San Francisco does not have a large youth population, so public high school kids pretty much knew each other if you were involved in the social scene. We'd talk about the different restaurants we liked and tell different stories about the city life.

Eight months later, I find out that it was all a lie and he only said that because he wanted a way to connect with me. He'd visited a few times so he knew a little about the city, but i feel hard for it.