Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:20     Subject: Re:Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Club Monaco, please!
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:19     Subject: Re:Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Nordstrom
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:08     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Favorite thread of all time
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:06     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Middleburg Tack Exchange


A few distinct groups here:

- Tourists buying items because they're reminiscent of "quintessential Middleburg" (probably the smallest of the groups listed)

- 30-something gay men visiting Middleburg from NYC or DC who run lifestyle Instagrams and like to cosplay as "high society" from around 1920-1950. They don't have any experience riding horses or hunting (in the vast majority of instances), but the Middleburg trip sure does make for AMAZING aspirational lifestyle photos! If they don't visit The Inn at Little Washington and mention it on the 'gram, the trip never happened. They may appear pretentious, but are usually good guys.

- 30-something straight women. Similar to the gay men when it comes to the aspirational content (though their's is lacking in quality and is very much a 3rd rate production in comparison; also more likely to be unpaid work), but wayyyyy meaner and nastier, even to one another once the alcohol starts flowing. Probably drunk on wine from the nearby vineyards and rude to the shopkeepers. One member of the group will probably break down crying at some point and the rest have to comfort her and get her an Uber home.

- The empty-nester men and women who moved to Middleburg after getting tired of the Big Law grind because they genuinely love horses and hunting. They hate all the other groups and are friends with the MTE owners. They also retain PT Of Counsel positions in their respective law firms because WHY would you turn off that gravy train?

- Middle-aged SAHMs who FINALLY got away from their kiddos and not-so-dear husbands (because Larlo promised her LAST week that he was gonna watch the kids, so she planned the Middleburg girls' trip and then had to reschedule because he had a socially-distant golf game with a client. But hey, this is what she signed up for when she became an Executive's wife). It's girls' weekend and they just had lunch at the Red Fox Inn and are excited to go for their group horseback riding lesson. But first -- securing the proper attire! Off to MTE they go. They're very nice to the shopkeepers and staff, even if Larla's 5YO son DID try to FaceTime her 7 times in a row because Paw Patrol had a funny scene on.


Omg, this is amazing. Sorry I have nothing to contribute that can match this.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:04     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Vineyard Vines

Loro Piana

Bonobos

Jos. A. Banks
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:03     Subject: Re:Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
eShakti
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 21:02     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:Loft


You're an over-worked 3rd year associate at a mid-size law firm in DC. You were passed over for promotion again, despite putting all your waking hours into work. You ate your feelings, and your sweatpants are the only thing that fit you now (the best part of COVID is WFH). You bought a Peloton to help you get in shape during quarantine, but now it's a very fancy clothes rack because you're working on multiple cases with trials falling awfully close to one another. You live in NoMA and can navigate Dave Thomas Circle like a pro! You also spend a copious amount of time at the OrangeTheory there, even if your shredded gay best friend calls it "Barry's for poor people." He keeps inviting you to Barry's to meet a guy there he thinks you'd be PERFECT for, but you tell him that you don't have time for men and then drunk-dial him at 3 AM on a Saturday and cry about being single and your career running away from you simultaneously. You ultimately meet a nerdy, dad-bod guy who gets your love of Star Wars and Harry Potter, and you're very happy together. He encourages you to leave you job for greener pastures and you're in-house now.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 20:55     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:Target. Because Old Navy is worse in quality and price.


You are a 55+ mother of elementary schoolers in Falls Church City. Your children go to public school (which you fight tooth and nail to rename from TJ and GMHS) and you STRONGLY believe in public education and will tell anyone who listens. You joined the Peace Corps when young, and now work as a nonprofit lawyer. You're not the most fashionable and love your Vibram toe shoes that you wear to walk around the bike trails. You don't like it when bicyclists pass by too quickly on there. You LOVE Mom's Organic and think Jeff Bezos is the devil for hoarding all that money. You voted for Bernie and drive a Prius.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 20:51     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:Draper James should be a fun one....


Larla was an artsy, quirky girl at Field, but once she got to college, she decided to shed that aspect of her personality. She wanted a handsome boyfriend, a group of friends, and a to do so, she decided to join a sorority at Elon/U South Carolina/ECU. She obsessed over Total Frat/Sorority Move the summer before freshman year and watched enough Reese Witherspoon movies to make her Tinder bio "just a little whiskey in a tea cup; Southern belle, but DC-adjacent; [sorority letters]." She graduated from college with an arts minor, a Vice President position in her mid-tier sorority, and joined Deloitte Consulting in the federal division, because her father is an Executive there.

Larla has low self-esteem, but is actively working on it through positive affirmations. She's made a lot of progress, and is reverting back to the artsy girl she once was. She no longer hides her passions or who she is, but she does still enjoys Lilly Pulitzer as a work of extremely abstract art. Plus, selling her old sorority lewks on Poshmark left her with LOTS of pocket money!
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 19:42     Subject: Re:Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:Brooks Brothers


Larla thought about seeking an Executive Husband on itsjustlunch.com, a dating website she discovered while flying business class on a Delta flight to Hartsfield International. Ultimately though, she decided to forego the spouse and work on her career.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 19:08     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:Shein/ BooHoo / Princess Polly


Nobody wears that stuff. They impulse buy it while drunk or high on sleeping pills and then forget entirely about it until it arrives eight weeks later. They realize it only flatters skinny Chinese people and shove it in the back of the closet until the next goodwill clean out.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 19:01     Subject: Re:Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Brooks Brothers
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 18:54     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Target. Because Old Navy is worse in quality and price.
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 18:51     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Loft
Anonymous
Post 12/11/2020 18:40     Subject: Post a store or brand, and we’ll guess who shops there!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Vince


Helen Solloway.


Spot on