Anonymous wrote:It’s so sad how strongly you will all defend alcohol to your deaths, just to justify your own use. You don’t think smoking was also once such a thing?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Well, the difference is Xanax is a prescription drug and you use it as such. Alcohol is free use, and it’s easy to not respect that it really is a carcinogen, a mood depressant, and a bu ch of other things. But, people will defend its use because they enjoy it, and honestly - that’s fine. But, do you feel the same way about heroin? I mean, if someone just enjoys it, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to defend your alcohol use to me, but yet.. you did. It’s a legal, and marketed drug and poison. Have you looked up it’s long term effects? Really, Xanax worries you but alcohol doesn’t? C’mon. DCUM must be the most “but look at the studiiiiiies” population on the internet, but no one seems to ever pick the studies that would support their own bias. And thus, 10% of the heavily educated population are problem drinkers.

Honestly the fact that you equate alcohol with heroin shows that you probably have a problem with alcohol, and I'm sorry you are dealing with that. But alcohol isn't like heroin to many (most) people. This is a "you" problem.

How many people overdosed on alcohol in the US in 2019 - 95000
ALL other drug related deaths in 2017 - 72000

It’s not a me problem. It’s a problem that people do not want to see that alcohol is a marketed, available, addictive substance.

But hey, keep telling yourself that several drinks a day is normal, and buy into mommy wine culture, or whatever you want to. I did, too, and I “was fine” for years and years. And then one day, yes, I had a problem. But the problem wasn’t me as much as the problem is that alcohol is a highly addictive substance that flies under everyone’s radar. The opioid crisis doesn’t have anything on the one that you can buy at the grocery store.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Well, the difference is Xanax is a prescription drug and you use it as such. Alcohol is free use, and it’s easy to not respect that it really is a carcinogen, a mood depressant, and a bu ch of other things. But, people will defend its use because they enjoy it, and honestly - that’s fine. But, do you feel the same way about heroin? I mean, if someone just enjoys it, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to defend your alcohol use to me, but yet.. you did. It’s a legal, and marketed drug and poison. Have you looked up it’s long term effects? Really, Xanax worries you but alcohol doesn’t? C’mon. DCUM must be the most “but look at the studiiiiiies” population on the internet, but no one seems to ever pick the studies that would support their own bias. And thus, 10% of the heavily educated population are problem drinkers.

Honestly the fact that you equate alcohol with heroin shows that you probably have a problem with alcohol, and I'm sorry you are dealing with that. But alcohol isn't like heroin to many (most) people. This is a "you" problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Well, the difference is Xanax is a prescription drug and you use it as such. Alcohol is free use, and it’s easy to not respect that it really is a carcinogen, a mood depressant, and a bu ch of other things. But, people will defend its use because they enjoy it, and honestly - that’s fine. But, do you feel the same way about heroin? I mean, if someone just enjoys it, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to defend your alcohol use to me, but yet.. you did. It’s a legal, and marketed drug and poison. Have you looked up it’s long term effects? Really, Xanax worries you but alcohol doesn’t? C’mon. DCUM must be the most “but look at the studiiiiiies” population on the internet, but no one seems to ever pick the studies that would support their own bias. And thus, 10% of the heavily educated population are problem drinkers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Well, the difference is Xanax is a prescription drug and you use it as such. Alcohol is free use, and it’s easy to not respect that it really is a carcinogen, a mood depressant, and a bu ch of other things. But, people will defend its use because they enjoy it, and honestly - that’s fine. But, do you feel the same way about heroin? I mean, if someone just enjoys it, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to defend your alcohol use to me, but yet.. you did. It’s a legal, and marketed drug and poison. Have you looked up it’s long term effects? Really, Xanax worries you but alcohol doesn’t? C’mon. DCUM must be the most “but look at the studiiiiiies” population on the internet, but no one seems to ever pick the studies that would support their own bias. And thus, 10% of the heavily educated population are problem drinkers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Well, the difference is Xanax is a prescription drug and you use it as such. Alcohol is free use, and it’s easy to not respect that it really is a carcinogen, a mood depressant, and a bu ch of other things. But, people will defend its use because they enjoy it, and honestly - that’s fine. But, do you feel the same way about heroin? I mean, if someone just enjoys it, what’s the difference?

You don’t need to defend your alcohol use to me, but yet.. you did. It’s a legal, and marketed drug and poison. Have you looked up it’s long term effects? Really, Xanax worries you but alcohol doesn’t? C’mon. DCUM must be the most “but look at the studiiiiiies” population on the internet, but no one seems to ever pick the studies that would support their own bias. And thus, 10% of the heavily educated population are problem drinkers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

NP- the benefit is that I enjoy it. There are a lot of things with no benefit that I do because I enjoy. That's life. How sad an existence if I were to only stick to things for purely utilitarian purposes. We get one life, I would like to enjoy it in the ways I prefer to, and one glass of wine a night is included in that for me.

I had a very close friend pass away from cancer at 31. She was in perfect health. My grandparents and great grandparents all drank daily and lived healthily into their 90s. There are no guarantees in this life.

For what it's worth, I have dealt with anxiety in the past and have been prescribed daily Xanax. I don't take it because the studies about its long term effects worry me. I don't see how a glass of white wine as I fold laundry is any worse than that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

I just said it was up to OP to decide whether it's a problem for them but I also wanted to comment on this offensive statement. I have dealt with real alcoholics and they come in all kinds and with different patterns of dependency. Some people take to alcoholism like getting hit by a train. Others do it gradually and you don't notice because they're good at keeping secrets. The issue isn't the amount of alcohol but the pattern of use and whether it grows. Glad to see that OP is reflecting on this. Hopefully OP doesn't have a problem.

+1. My 70-year-old mother has absolutely slid into full-blown alcoholism this way. She didn't drink at all when we were growing up and then started with 1-2 per night. Overtime, it has turned into a vodka right at 5 and then at least a full bottle every night. It is now affecting her health and will probably kill her. Breaks my heart. Obviously this doesn't happen to everyone but it is naive to not be aware of that risk and take steps to mitigate it if you feel yourself sliding.

+2. Same with my 70yo mother who is now dealing with alcohol induced dementia that in hindsight was coming on in her mid to late 60’s. Many of her acquaintances, family members and friends were like, “oh, it can’t be because of the alcohol” because they too drank as much as she does and didn’t want to believe that was something that could actually happen. I stopped arguing with them and told them if they were so sure it couldn’t be the alcohol they were welcome to take that up with her neurologist. I am incredibly angry and sad about it. She did it to herself and having grown up in a home where both parents drank heavily but were “functioning alcoholics” who didn’t lose jobs or crash cars, no one really paid attention or cared. I caution anyone who drinks multiple glasses a night to at least internally be very honest with themselves about where that can lead and why they are doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

And this is where I don’t want to go all scorched earth over alcohol, but - no one needs to have 1-2 drinks a day. There actually zero benefit, and all consequence. It’s a problem because it’s not healthy, necessary, and actually dangerous. Of course, it’s been marketed to be awesome, healthful, and glamorous and no one cares.

But I hear everyone crying about the Europeans! Well, the UK is fighting a surge of alcoholism and liver related illnesses. And say what you want about Italy, Germany, whatever... in general, they aren’t drinking “to unwind”. A glass of wine is completely normal as part of a meal, or whatever. That said, do your research. They identify the most hazardous drinkers the same as here - highly educated, better off, people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

I don't know why people would rake you over the coals. I think you raise a lot of good points. All of what you say can be true for some, but not everyone, and it's entirely normal for people who drink to wonder/worry about whether they're drinking too much -- worrying is something conditioned into women from birth and that alone doesn't mean that you have a problem.

But I do want to say that for many, many people you can drink 1-2 glasses a night or so for your entire life and never really develop a "problem." I personally wouldn't be comfortable with that level because to me it seems like a habit if it's every day, but that's kind of my point -- do you find it difficult to NOT drink, OP? Is 1-2 glasses becoming solidly 2, and 2 creeping into 2-3 (or are you being truthful about the size of a glass?)

If so, in your shoes I'd cut back. Or stop for a while and see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're ok, as long as you don't go beyond that and start the heavy stuff.

No, it’s not that simple.

- recovering alcoholic

OP, there are lots of rationalization on here. It’s a slippery slope if you are drinking more than what you did when you started, which is something Annie Grace talks about. If you’re worried about your drinking, that’s already your red flag.

People will justify the “it’s not abnormal” thing, but the statistics will show you that no, most people aren’t actually drinking every day.

It’s not worth it, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it. You will be forever chasing the buzz, and it will be fine in this age of mommy wine culture. But it isn’t actually helping you. It only gets worse, and that’s the insidiousness of it all. Everyone pictures the homeless person, or the down and out drunk, but that’s not all alcoholism looks like. It looks like me, with a job, a family, and the perfect life from the outside. And my bottle a day wine habit, plus whatever else anyone poured. But it was okay. Everyone had a few glasses a day, right? Of course, mine started to become hidden but it wasn’t always that way. I did have the hard stuff, but not always. I drank alone, but not always. My DH drank the same amount, but he doesn’t have the problem I do.

The thing is.. it’s not a problem until it becomes a problem, and by then, it’s a huge problem because you’ve already been asking if it’s a problem and avoiding the real answer.

I’m sure I’ll get raked over the coals for being an alcoholic, but that’s okay. I was just like all of you not that long ago , telling myself it was just one or two drinks. And it was, until it wasn’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. OP, you're fine. 1-2 glasses a night after the kids go to bed is not excess. Periodically check in with yourself to ask, "could I stop this?" and even take breaks if you're concerned that it's a minor dependency. But realistically, it's an amount that just isn't a problem.

Anyone saying it is a problem is privileged to have never dealt with real alcoholics and lucky to have not lived through what real dependency is like.

I just said it was up to OP to decide whether it's a problem for them but I also wanted to comment on this offensive statement. I have dealt with real alcoholics and they come in all kinds and with different patterns of dependency. Some people take to alcoholism like getting hit by a train. Others do it gradually and you don't notice because they're good at keeping secrets. The issue isn't the amount of alcohol but the pattern of use and whether it grows. Glad to see that OP is reflecting on this. Hopefully OP doesn't have a problem.

+1. My 70-year-old mother has absolutely slid into full-blown alcoholism this way. She didn't drink at all when we were growing up and then started with 1-2 per night. Overtime, it has turned into a vodka right at 5 and then at least a full bottle every night. It is now affecting her health and will probably kill her. Breaks my heart. Obviously this doesn't happen to everyone but it is naive to not be aware of that risk and take steps to mitigate it if you feel yourself sliding.