Anonymous wrote:A lot of thin people just don't have an emotional tie to food. Sometimes they forget to eat if they're preoccupied and they pretty much just eat whatever they want or whatever is in reach until their body says "enough". It's a food = fuel mentality and sometimes they'll just wait until they get to "E" before they fuel up again.

This is true. And skinny people don’t eat bc they’re bored. I never snack and honestly don’t get the concept. Your body doesn’t need food all day. There meals are plenty!

Anonymous wrote:A lot of thin people just don't have an emotional tie to food. Sometimes they forget to eat if they're preoccupied and they pretty much just eat whatever they want or whatever is in reach until their body says "enough". It's a food = fuel mentality and sometimes they'll just wait until they get to "E" before they fuel up again.

Sort of, but as a naturally thin person, I would describe my relationship to food as very emotional. I eat to feel good and primarily to feel good. Meaning that when I'm hungry, if someone offers me something healthy but not delicious or satisfying on an emotional level, I won't want it. And since I know I can eat the burger with fries and it won't impact my appearance, I just eat that. It really is just kind of a pure relationship to food -- it's about hunger, but also joy and flavor. I am fortunate that I've never had to diet, but my main takeaway from being around people who do is that it is joyless. Even foods that make you happy also make you unhappy, because they are "bad" and you feel bad for eating them.

So it's not about emotion, it's about morality. I eat delicious food that I want to eat and I never feel like I'm being bad or breaking a rule. I'm just eating. There are no good foods or bad foods, there's just food I want to eat and food I don't want to eat. And if I eat something heavy and calorie-laden, I'm not a bad person who cheated or broke the rules. I'm just a person who enjoyed her meal. There is not moral implication.

But you are right that I sometimes forget to eat because I'm preoccupied. Though I don't think it has any impact on my weight for good or bad. If I forget to eat, I'm more likely to eat something really rich and heavy to compensate. So there's no diet advantage to it. It's just a bad habit (and makes me cranky).

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for asking!

I'm the same weight that I was in HS. Sure, there have been variations and fluctuations, but at 50 I'm physically stronger and more athletic than ever before.

I take an SSRI and I think that keeps my weight down. Prior to being medicated, I struggled to eat adequately and have had periods in my life where my anxiety is so high that I will drop an alarming amount of weight quixkly. I'd like to think that's in the past.

I am small, bordering on frail if I'm not careful. I work out 4-5 days a week; run (strive for sustained cardio, so 3 miles or running for 40 minutes), walk, yoga, hike, ocean swimming, strength training, stair climber, rower.

So does your SSRI trigger hunger or make you eat more?

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Anonymous wrote:Most naturally skinny people eat less than fat people. They have extremely sensitive hunger cues and the biggest secret: they HATE feeling too full. The naturally thin people that say they eat whatever they want are telling the truth, it’s just that they eat much smaller portions than average adults. Dieting makes you obsess over food you can and can’t eat, so learning to eat very little delicious food makes you eventually “naturally” thin.

This is my observation as well. The thin people I know just eat less. Most are not depriving themselves, they just feel full faster.

I am heavy and hate the feeling of being hungry. I'd rather feel slightly "too full" than a little bit hungry.

You can train yourself to eat less, it takes about three weeks, but your mind adjusts to it. The secret is to wait until you are truly hungry and then eat exactly what you are craving, even if it’s junk. You teach your appetite to return to normal. But it requires really learning not be scared of hunger.

I was thin until my mid-thirties, and I agree that you can "train" your appetite. But I do believe that I fundamentally have a larger appetite than my thinner friends, and I hate to exercise/workout. Large appetite and dislike of exercise is a double whammy. My happy place is reading a book in a comfy chair. In my 30's, I worked out like crazy and learned to be a little hungry all the time to stay thin. I just DGAF anymore.

That’s fair. I think it’s fine to not GAF about being thin. I really like being thin, but I hate obsessing over food, so I just studied naturally thin eaters for a long time and imitated them. Eventually “doing becomes being” and I am naturally thin now, too.

Exactly what did you learn from them? How much and what do you in one day and how many calories?

I’m 5’8” and weigh 128. I’m 40ish. I don’t drink alcohol. I eat mostly vegetarian, but I love a steak or burger once in a while. I do intermittent fasting several days per week. Not really on purpose...just keeps my energy level up. Since I don’t drink, I eat a bit of chocolate almost every day. I have a sweet tooth for sure. When I used to drink, I overexercised to stay thin and really limited my calorie intake...so not healthy. I stopped drinking three years ago and just feel better overall both physically and mentally. While I exercise 5-6 days a week, I’m not running excessively or working out for hours like the old days. It’s healthy and moderate. My sister is 50. She’s 5’4” and weighs 105-110. She does the same thing I do, so I’m sure genetics definitely help. My 80 year old Dad is the same.

Who flaking cares? Grow up.

PP here. I do have an emotional tie to food, and I weigh myself every day.

5’8, 123-125. With Covid, more like 125.

It’s hard to explain - no it’s not genetic, no I don’t follow a super restrictive diet or exercise like crazy. I am aware of what I eat, the general amount of calories in most things, and my activity level each day. The closest thing I can identify with on this thread is the PP who said she hates feeling full. Yes - I like being satisfied, but I hate that “stuffed” feeling and I typically avoid super heavy/cheesy/red meat laden meals as a result. They being said, I definitely don’t eat great. Today:

Cup of coffee with a splash of cream
2 “organic” (questionable) strawberry pop tarts.

Lunch: Busy at work. Whole wheat PB sandwich.

Snack: glass of wine (typically don’t drink during the week, but I’m kicking off the holiday week early) and a very healthy handful of salt and vinegar kettle chips.

Dinner: turkey chili, hopefully some salad to get some veggies in, another glass of wine.

Before bed: apple

A lot of thin people just don't have an emotional tie to food. Sometimes they forget to eat if they're preoccupied and they pretty much just eat whatever they want or whatever is in reach until their body says "enough". It's a food = fuel mentality and sometimes they'll just wait until they get to "E" before they fuel up again.

Anonymous wrote:It’s genetic. I’ve always been tall and thin. I did change my diet in my 30s to be more focused on lean protein and veggies but still eat sweets daily. This helps my weight remain stable. I eat smaller portions too- I was overeating previously. I’m thinner now than before kids, but I also don’t eat as heavy portions as I used to. I also don’t snack.

If it is genetic why did you change your diet in your 30s? How many calories per day did you eat in your 20s?

It’s genetic. I’ve always been tall and thin. I did change my diet in my 30s to be more focused on lean protein and veggies but still eat sweets daily. This helps my weight remain stable. I eat smaller portions too- I was overeating previously. I’m thinner now than before kids, but I also don’t eat as heavy portions as I used to. I also don’t snack.

OP are you Gen X? I am and skinny was the ideal. I had an eating disorder for the longest time and that's how I was skinny. Now I subscribe to the fit and healthy ideal. I still am mindful of what I eat and I exercise but I am so much happier. And I feel like I am a better role model for my kids.

It was genetic until about 40. Now I’m disciplined about what I eat and workout regularly.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not skinny minnie. I’m 150 and 5’10”. Average and healthy weight. I eat whatever I want. However, if I pay attention to portions and refined carbs, I can easily be 135. For my height, 135 is skinny Minnie.

Count macros. Try Fit Body Boot Camp. It’s not hard. It just requires more focus than I’m able to give right now with 3 small kids at home during pandemic-era parenting/homeschooling.

I’m 5’10” and around 135 and I don’t consider myself a skinny Minnie, but I also don’t give my weight much thought at all. I was a diet-obsessed, eating-disordered teen and got all of that out my system long ago. Now in my 40s, I eat whatever I want. Mostly carbs, too be honest. Dessert every night. Wine most nights. I run a lot, though.

Anonymous wrote:PP16:40.


Genetics clearly play a role. I have sister who, while fit, has always been larger framed - broader shoulders, pear shaped, wide hips - just heavier. Our mom and grandmother were petite, short and could be described as "tiny."

I have 2 DDs and neither have my build nor share many similarities between each other physically (one is tall and thin but athletic with cut muscles and the other is shorter with a curvy but feminine build)

It’s really not genetics. Until recently, most people were thin. Most Parisian women over 40/50 are thin because it’s something they value. What you weigh is a choice.