Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:40
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
There is officially no end to what mothers will be faulted for on DCUM. We have hit rock bottom.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:37
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: um yes we are talking about leaving kids unattended for hours. because we have JOBS. Not dangerously unattended (hopefully) but basically no attention other than the minimum. it’s not good for anyone, especially only children.
If you’re working, and leaving your ages 3-5 year old kids to fend for themselves (the age range this thread is about), then yes that is abusive. They are too young to be without superviskon for hours at a time. Daycares are open so not sure why you aren’t using them. What did you do pre covid when you worked? Continue doing that same thing.
Uh, before Covid, my 5 year old went school. Duh.
Also, a 3-5 year old can absolutely entertain themself for a couple hours. Maybe not ever single one, but most. My kid stopped napping when she was 2, so she's been doing "quiet time", which is basically just solo play for years in the afternoon. She selects a couple activities and then stays in her room doing them for about two hours a day. It's good for her to get a break from other people and have time to process her day. I often hear her playacting things that happened earlier in the day with her stuffed animals -- she's using that alone time to work through some stuff on her own, making connections and figuring out she's feeling without a parent or nanny hovering over her. The idea that a 3-5 year old needs intense supervision 100% of the time is absurd.
“A couple hours” is not a full work day. Not even close.
I think it's hilarious that you think parents are getting a full work day in during daylight hours. Most days, I work from 5-7am, then maybe squeeze an hour in before noon, then two hours while my kid naps in the afternoon, and then I work from 8pm-midnight doing catch up. And this is the schedule of most of the working moms I know right now.
I am the PP you replied to, and I am also a FT WFH mom right now. I know no one is getting a full day in during daylight hours; I’m certainly not. But I am in 4-6 hours worth of meetings every day, as is my DH, and those are held during normal business hours. Trying to do that while my 4yo was home was a HUGE challenge and unfair to her. Thank goodness our daycare reopened. But I know not everyone has that option, which is why I posted a reply to the person who seems to think a preschooler occupying themselves for a few hours will cover the WFH problem. It doesn’t. I know. My 4yo and infant are both down for the night, and I’m starting work again...at nearly 10PM. I get it.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:32
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.
But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?
I grew up in a context that a lot of DCUMers would consider antiquated - in the countryside, with only my sibling for company. If you think my parents were hanging out engaging with the two of us, then you have no idea the amount of work it takes to keep up a working farm. I am so much more available for my kids as a teleworking parent than my own parent were with working outdoors, plus keeping up the fenceline, plus canning and jarring, plus livestock.
I'm not traumatized by my childhood, despite having no other kids for miles around. I wouldn't recreate it for my own kids, but that's more due to my lack of desire to work as hard as my folks did.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:26
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:I never went to school or played with other kids until I started kindergarten. No siblings. I actually couldn't wait to get home from school. It was too loud and chaotic.
Me too. Don't understand what OP is going on about.
This used to be more typical, pre-day care.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:26
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:You do realize that for much of history before the industrial revolution families were often isolated on farms far away from other families? Those kids survived.
But they had many more kids and generally larger families under 1 roof. What do you do with 2 parents teleworking and a single child?
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:24
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP I hope you never see real child abuse in your life because you would then actually understand just how completely ignorant your statement is.
Frankly, 2 years ago, had a parent kept a perfectly healthy 5 year old home for a year because they were afraid of catching the flu , and had informed their pediatrician about this, they probably would have had. CPS come in to check. At the very least the parent's sanity would have been in question.
Cool, irrelevant story you've got there, because, you know, COVID is not the flu.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:23
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:OP I hope you never see real child abuse in your life because you would then actually understand just how completely ignorant your statement is.
+1,000
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:12
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.
Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.
I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.
This bothers me quite a lot too. I know of two families that are doing this.
For those that say this was normal in the past, is not true. Families are more isolated now and the US already. At least in the past, people had more kids and extended family was around. Not the case now.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:06
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Friends with the parents. They tell me...
Anonymous
10/19/2020 21:04
Subject: Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Just my opinion. So many little kids i know with parents who tend to be the anxious type are listless, cranky, acting out.
Little kids don't have the skills to say, I'm lonely I miss my friends. They cant control anything. They don't even get online connection. For them in person is the only real thing.
I think we're seeing mass child abuse especially of age 3-5.
If the parents are isolating, how can you see the behavior of the children exactly?
Anonymous
10/19/2020 19:02
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
I never went to school or played with other kids until I started kindergarten. No siblings. I actually couldn't wait to get home from school. It was too loud and chaotic.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 17:43
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. I hope no one is completely isolating their kids for this prolonged period.
I know someone who has kept kids completely isolated since March. Haven't seen another human outside their home. Basically do not leave their home. Makes me so sad.
Really? This is very sad. And I’d say rare. Does one of the children have some kind of health condition?
Sadly not so rare . I think it is at least neglect. No, it isn't child abuse on the level of locking them in cages, but still really bad.
And the worst part is the parents think they are virtue signaling. But it's at the kid's expense. The parents at least have an online social life. Their kids don't.
Where do you live that you can say this level of caution is "not so rare."
I see kids out (masked, outdoors) every single day. My young kids have a cadre of peers they meet up with at the playground, including kids who are immunocompromised or live with someone who is.
Either your neighborhood is an outlier, or you are fibbing.
You obviously aren't seeing these kids on the playground. They're not there. That's exactly the issue. Sorry you don't have as wide a circle of acquaintances.
I live in a very high income area. Prefer not to say exactly where.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 17:40
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. I hope no one is completely isolating their kids for this prolonged period.
I know someone who has kept kids completely isolated since March. Haven't seen another human outside their home. Basically do not leave their home. Makes me so sad.
Really? This is very sad. And I’d say rare. Does one of the children have some kind of health condition?
Sadly not so rare . I think it is at least neglect. No, it isn't child abuse on the level of locking them in cages, but still really bad.
And the worst part is the parents think they are virtue signaling. But it's at the kid's expense. The parents at least have an online social life. Their kids don't.
Where do you live that you can say this level of caution is "not so rare."
I see kids out (masked, outdoors) every single day. My young kids have a cadre of peers they meet up with at the playground, including kids who are immunocompromised or live with someone who is.
Either your neighborhood is an outlier, or you are fibbing.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 17:30
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. I hope no one is completely isolating their kids for this prolonged period.
I know someone who has kept kids completely isolated since March. Haven't seen another human outside their home. Basically do not leave their home. Makes me so sad.
Really? This is very sad. And I’d say rare. Does one of the children have some kind of health condition?
Sadly not so rare . I think it is at least neglect. No, it isn't child abuse on the level of locking them in cages, but still really bad.
And the worst part is the parents think they are virtue signaling. But it's at the kid's expense. The parents at least have an online social life. Their kids don't.
Anonymous
10/19/2020 17:24
Subject: Re:Complete isolation of small children is abusive
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I agree with OP. I hope no one is completely isolating their kids for this prolonged period.
I know someone who has kept kids completely isolated since March. Haven't seen another human outside their home. Basically do not leave their home. Makes me so sad.
Really? This is very sad. And I’d say rare. Does one of the children have some kind of health condition?