Anonymous wrote:When did OP say she didn't want to be a SAHM? Her post was all about her husband and asking if others' husbands felt the same. Her follow up had to do with her disappointment that people are bashing each other on this thread - again, not saying she wishes she were a SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long is "when the kids are little"? What does long term SAHM mean? Like, you never want to work again in your whole life? You don't even want to work part-time when your kids are in school?

People are answering this thread as if you said that you husband demanded that you go back to work full-time when your babies are 3 months old. That's not what you said. You didn't really explain what he means.

Being a "long term" SAHM (ie having kids and never ever working again for your whole life) is very rare in this country now. I don't think it's a radical stance for your husband to think it's in your best interest to eventually go back to work.

Why does anyone even care if someone wants be a long term sahm? I’m a sahm with school aged kids. My husband earns a ton and I have my own money (family money/savings from several years of working previously). You don’t know what people’s financial situation is, so why do you people care?

I guess OP cares the most since she started a thread with the sole purpose of bashing SAHMs under the guise of “anyone else have a husband that doesn’t want them to be a SAHM?”

I don't think OP meant to bash SAHMs with this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long is "when the kids are little"? What does long term SAHM mean? Like, you never want to work again in your whole life? You don't even want to work part-time when your kids are in school?

People are answering this thread as if you said that you husband demanded that you go back to work full-time when your babies are 3 months old. That's not what you said. You didn't really explain what he means.

Being a "long term" SAHM (ie having kids and never ever working again for your whole life) is very rare in this country now. I don't think it's a radical stance for your husband to think it's in your best interest to eventually go back to work.

Why does anyone even care if someone wants be a long term sahm? I’m a sahm with school aged kids. My husband earns a ton and I have my own money (family money/savings from several years of working previously). You don’t know what people’s financial situation is, so why do you people care?

I guess OP cares the most since she started a thread with the sole purpose of bashing SAHMs under the guise of “anyone else have a husband that doesn’t want them to be a SAHM?”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long is "when the kids are little"? What does long term SAHM mean? Like, you never want to work again in your whole life? You don't even want to work part-time when your kids are in school?

People are answering this thread as if you said that you husband demanded that you go back to work full-time when your babies are 3 months old. That's not what you said. You didn't really explain what he means.

Being a "long term" SAHM (ie having kids and never ever working again for your whole life) is very rare in this country now. I don't think it's a radical stance for your husband to think it's in your best interest to eventually go back to work.

Why does anyone even care if someone wants be a long term sahm? I’m a sahm with school aged kids. My husband earns a ton and I have my own money (family money/savings from several years of working previously). You don’t know what people’s financial situation is, so why do you people care?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?

I am not a SAHM, but I always think this question is so bizarre.

Do you ask people without children what they do all day after they get off work? What do childfree people do from 5pm-11pm? That's six hours a day. Then they have entire days, sometimes multiple days in a row with no work at all. Managing their household can't take up all of their time. They aren't managing, cooking for, or cleaning up after anyone other than themselves. So what do they even do with their time?

You are comparing women sitting at home all day while kids are in school...to, you know, people that worked 8+ hours and then have to go to the gym, do their laundry and cook dinner...and the kids’ dinner and homework. They don’t have the luxury of working out during the day.

I WAH so I at least I make $200k and I’m still home when kids get off the bus. I manage to do everything a SAHM does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long is "when the kids are little"? What does long term SAHM mean? Like, you never want to work again in your whole life? You don't even want to work part-time when your kids are in school?

People are answering this thread as if you said that you husband demanded that you go back to work full-time when your babies are 3 months old. That's not what you said. You didn't really explain what he means.

Being a "long term" SAHM (ie having kids and never ever working again for your whole life) is very rare in this country now. I don't think it's a radical stance for your husband to think it's in your best interest to eventually go back to work.

Why does anyone even care if someone wants be a long term sahm? I’m a sahm with school aged kids. My husband earns a ton and I have my own money (family money/savings from several years of working previously). You don’t know what people’s financial situation is, so why do you people care?

Anonymous wrote:How long is "when the kids are little"? What does long term SAHM mean? Like, you never want to work again in your whole life? You don't even want to work part-time when your kids are in school?

People are answering this thread as if you said that you husband demanded that you go back to work full-time when your babies are 3 months old. That's not what you said. You didn't really explain what he means.

Being a "long term" SAHM (ie having kids and never ever working again for your whole life) is very rare in this country now. I don't think it's a radical stance for your husband to think it's in your best interest to eventually go back to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the high earner in my household now, and I wouldn't want to support a SAHD.

Amen sister.

Amen+

Really?
I am not currently the breadwinner, but DH has been at home in the past for a couple of years, and I really liked it. I would love it if my husband would be a SAHD permanently. We could move to the city where I have the best career options, and we have more family support. I wouldn’t have to stress about being home on time to relieve the nanny. I could travel for conferences and speaking engagements without guilt or worry about leaving my kids with someone they don’t know or burning out my nanny. Sick days, snow days, etc. wouldn’t be an issue. There would be no “second shift.” Being a WOHP with a SAHP backing you up is a great deal.

I am one of the PPs who doesn't want to have a SAHD. None of those benefits are worth the stress of being the sole income earner and never getting a chance to scale back a career. Also, I think there is something to being forced to make both parents figure it out. It is so easy to get distanced from kids because someone else is doing the day to day, and just become the weekend fun parent.

My kids are teens now and I'm really glad we muddled through together when they were younger. We have a close, tight-knit family and our kids have watched us jointly compromise for years. The kids themselves know they also have work around the house and they also pitch in.

I know there are many ways to raise a family and I do not support all the nasty WOHMs who take swipes at SAHMs (or vice versa). We found something that works and worked, and I wouldn't change it. My SAHM friends are wonderful people who have also raised great kids. I want to be totally clear that I am not saying anything anti-SAHM. My only point is that I would not want to support a SAHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand staying at home when the kids are still little and don't go to school. But once they are elementary school age, what do you do all day?

I am not a SAHM, but I always think this question is so bizarre.

Do you ask people without children what they do all day after they get off work? What do childfree people do from 5pm-11pm? That's six hours a day. Then they have entire days, sometimes multiple days in a row with no work at all. Managing their household can't take up all of their time. They aren't managing, cooking for, or cleaning up after anyone other than themselves. So what do they even do with their time?

You are comparing women sitting at home all day while kids are in school...to, you know, people that worked 8+ hours and then have to go to the gym, do their laundry and cook dinner...and the kids’ dinner and homework. They don’t have the luxury of working out during the day.

I WAH so I at least I make $200k and I’m still home when kids get off the bus. I manage to do everything a SAHM does.