Anonymous wrote:Op, I am 16:14 and I think it is great that you are focusing on planning how to pay for college, including saving as much as you can. But, with all due respect, your children are in elementary school and you seem very focused on a specific subset of schools. You and your ex-dh may have gone to one of these schools but at this point, you have no idea if one of these schools will be a fit for your children. The time to focus on specific schools is high school and not even freshmen year. Also, if your children are in elementary school, you have a number of years before you have to fill out financial aid applications. Your salary could increase significantly in that time. Your ex-dh's salary could decrease significantly in that time. So much could happen that I am not even going to write them out because some are really good and some are really bad. Keep abreast of what is happening with financial aid but do not obsess. It is likely that things will change a lot over the next several years as colleges (and yes, even the elite schools) are losing a lot of money due to covid.

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those single Moms. This is what I told my DC while he started high school: "After you turn 18, parents are not responsible for you financially, and not responsible for your college cost. I will help you as much as I can, But you got to work hard in high school so you can get merit based financial aid for your college"
I showed my DC my paystub, the child support check, my mortgage bill, and my credit card bill to let him understand.

He end up with 4.8 weighted GPA and perfect ACT and SAT score.

I think it is also important to teach our kids to be independent, not always relay on others.

Anonymous wrote:I am a single parent who adopted my child that way (ie, there has never been a dad in the picture).

I know this is not the common situation, but we explained that once and only one school made us sign an affidavit or something to prove it.

I am not at all suggesting that people lie about their situation, but I am just describing another variation on single parents.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

I really do see, thank you. And I think they can overcome this by considering a student's specific situation. Thanks.

NP. If you create a special category for specific situations, other families will jump through hoops to recreate that and save thousands of dollars. There’s no way you can’t see that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!

Each parent who does FAFSA gets the EFC based on his or her income. The FAFSA calculates for each parent. The colleges see both FAFSAs and simply combines these EFCs. Each parent, however, only sees his or her FAFSA EFC.

I thought FAFSA was only completed by the custodial parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!

Each parent who does FAFSA gets the EFC based on his or her income. The FAFSA calculates for each parent. The colleges see both FAFSAs and simply combines these EFCs. Each parent, however, only sees his or her FAFSA EFC.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

I really do see, thank you. And I think they can overcome this by considering a student's specific situation. Thanks.

Anonymous wrote:Hi, I am on page 1 and just wanted to say that I am in the same situation and looking for a way too. Best of luck and thank you for starting this topic!

Anonymous wrote:I am one of those single Moms. This is what I told my DC while he started high school: "After you turn 18, parents are not responsible for you financially, and not responsible for your college cost. I will help you as much as I can, But you got to work hard in high school so you can get merit based financial aid for your college"
I showed my DC my paystub, the child support check, my mortgage bill, and my credit card bill to let him understand.

He end up with 4.8 weighted GPA and perfect ACT and SAT score.

I think it is also important to teach our kids to be independent, not always relay on others.

Anonymous wrote:OP,

First off, Since you are new to the board, a bit of advice:

1. Ignore the trolls
2. Ignore the trolls
3. Ignore the trolls.

Responding to trolls just gives them doses of dopamine via the attention. It’s all about them highjacking your post and getting you to engage with them. Acknowledge the kindness but never address the trolly puppet people.

Secondly, while I get that you’d like to front load college planning, the best advice I’ve seen here is to start a 529. Rules change. Deal with them as you get closer (3-4 years out) as you have enough on your plate right now. How do you eat an elephant , one bite at a time.

With the current pandemic , your ex may be a non-factor in ten years , for many reasons. Focus on your kids having the most authentic, quality, and genuine experiences now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Thank you everyone for your help and perspectives. A follow-up question.

Is there a divorced parent who completed the CSS who could tell me... do they by any chance break down the EFC by each parent when divorced? Like, the EFC is 150K, 100K from dad 50K from mom?

That might be helpful for me to show my ex or his parents who would potentially help out. And yes I am saving money and not counting on anyone else, but it would just be good to know what to anticipate there. Thank you!

Each parent who does FAFSA gets the EFC based on his or her income. The FAFSA calculates for each parent. The colleges see both FAFSAs and simply combines these EFCs. Each parent, however, only sees his or her FAFSA EFC.