Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love my son, but I hope to have a baby girl. Call me superficial, but I love the bows, clothes, tea parties, etc. I am going to try the Shettles Method as someone mentioned in a previous post.

It’s nuts to me that woman hope for a girl so they can have tea parties. Whaaaaaat.

I had tea parties with my boys. Why do people think boys don't drink tea?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have both. I already am upset about having to be a mil one day. Men grown up and don’t care for their families

This is really odd and sexist. I’m a woman who is much closer to my MIL and FIL than my own parents. I know many adults male and female who are close or not close to their families of origin or in laws for a variety of reasons, none of which are related to being male or female.

+1. I am much closer to my MIL than I am with my own mom. It has do more to do with personality than gender.

Anonymous wrote:As much as we have anecdotal stories about people loving their ILs, the data shows that the majority of DIL have issues with their MILs and that Daughters are more likely to care for their parents in older age. Do you all really expect your DIL to take care of you? I think the only way to change this is to try to get sons do more caregiving and emotional labor.

My sister-in-law is a MUCH better caregiver to my parents than I (the daughter) ever would be. Primarily because she actually gets along with my mom, while my mom and I fight with each other within 1 day of seeing each other.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously asking.

Am I missing a gene? I do not have a strong urge to have a girl. Am I missing something? What’s this desire/urge to have a girl? And why are boys so disappointing to so many?

I always wanted boys (and that's what I have). Boys are so much easier to raise than girls, imo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for a boy because you are afraid someone is going to rape your daughter is way more disordered thinking than hoping for a tea party.

Just my two cents.

Agreed.

Quote me next time...and you must be real privileged to not think or have experienced women and girls be harassed, threatened, and assaulted. I’d want to avoid that if I could.

Anonymous wrote:What data?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2018/03/21/well/family/the-maternal-grandparent-advantage.amp.html


“But researchers exploring family affiliations point out that a so-called “matrilineal advantage” does exist. That is, daughters generally have closer ties to their own parents than to their in-laws, which leads to warmer relationships between their children and the maternal grandparents.”

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Daughters provide as much elderly parent care as they can, sons do as little as possible

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140819082912.htm


“Summary:
Parents are better off having daughters if they want to be cared for in their old age suggests a new study, which finds that women appear to provide as much elderly parent care as they can, while men contribute as little as possible.”
—-

“Apter shares that over 60 percent of women — versus just 15 percent of men — report having a negative relationship with their significant other’s mom. “


https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mate-relate-and-communicate/201310/have-in-law-issues%3famp

What data?

As much as we have anecdotal stories about people loving their ILs, the data shows that the majority of DIL have issues with their MILs and that Daughters are more likely to care for their parents in older age. Do you all really expect your DIL to take care of you? I think the only way to change this is to try to get sons do more caregiving and emotional labor.

Makes sense to want a minime

I want a son and so far only have a daughter (who I looooove)

Boy or girl, if raised well, will ideally grow up and establish their own family. It would be wonderful to maintain close ties when they are adults, but that is their life and time. Be kind to your children now, while they are growing up and, when the time comes, let them live their own lives.

Anonymous wrote:Hoping for a boy because you are afraid someone is going to rape your daughter is way more disordered thinking than hoping for a tea party.

Just my two cents.

Agreed.

Hoping for a boy because you are afraid someone is going to rape your daughter is way more disordered thinking than hoping for a tea party.

Just my two cents.

Anonymous wrote:A daughter is your daughter for the rest of her life

A son is your son until he takes a wife

This. It comes down to looking at the relationship with the child over the course of your lifetime. Women generally stay closer with their parents as adults and when they have families of their own than men do. You may expect to have a closer relationship with your grandchildren if you are the mother of the mom instead of the dad. Not many adult men I know call up their mother and talk about all the personal things going on in their life or seek advice etc. But almost every woman I know does do that. Of course, every family is different and their are always exceptions.

Anonymous wrote:I have both. I already am upset about having to be a mil one day. Men grown up and don’t care for their families

If it gives you hope my brother stayed within a ten minute drive from my parents and sees them every weekend!

Anonymous wrote:I have both. I already am upset about having to be a mil one day. Men grown up and don’t care for their families

This is really odd and sexist. I’m a woman who is much closer to my MIL and FIL than my own parents. I know many adults male and female who are close or not close to their families of origin or in laws for a variety of reasons, none of which are related to being male or female.