Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 15:44     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Did I miss it? Is this border line hoarding as in your wife is buying 15 mason jars, but they sit around. Then the next week she'll go back to the store and buy, say, 20 sewing kits and needle stitch, but again, it just lays around?
Or is this she is truly doing a craft, selling it on FB Marketplace or Etsy?

Can you compromise with her - ask her to only buy 2 (or 3 max) mason jars and she if she can craft with it successfully. If so, then buy more. Otherwise, it's over the top.

Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 15:36     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps she can craft herself a better husband.


Hahaha. Good one, PP.

Op, please realize that there are people in this world stressing over their spouses’ drug habits and affairs. Let the poor woman have her crafts.


This is also ridiculous. So just because she isn’t buying drugs or boning someone, she’s perfectly ok to spend a couple hundred at a craft store on paper and glue? Don’t make us laugh. It’s a waste of money.


That is totally in the eye of the beholder. My husband treasures spending money on things I find completely wasteful. We each have our thing. Crafting is a great hobby. Maybe ask her to spend less, but goodness there are lots of hobbies that cost a lot of money. My cousin has like 10 guitars? He only plays for himself. My friend loves golf (ugh). Bowling. Gaming - gah! Home renovations. Going to the gym is a hobby. You don’t need a membership to exercise - jog or grab some weights to use at home. That is your choice.

I have my own expensive hobby which I won’t mention incase I am pitted. Husband gives me a little grief, but he knows it brings me such joy. I try not to spend money - but it does take a lot of time.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 15:21     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The fact that she buys from Hobby Lobby would be the most concerning part.

Before being married I would intentionally take girlfriends to shopping centers with a Michaels to see if they would take the bait.


I would love to hear more about your dating techniques


It started when I found out someone I really liked and had recently started dating had a crazy scrap booking setup. The long drawn out WTF rolled through my head for 10 minutes when I first saw it. Never again.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 14:04     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Crafting is cheaper than therapy.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 14:02     Subject: Re:Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage.


Going to the gym makes you feel good. Crafting makes her feel good.


She works part time. So separate your finances if the money bothers you so much. I'm more disturbed by your attitude. You sound contemptuous of her hobby and tastes. It has nothing to do with the 20 lbs. That's a separate issue, don't mix it up with her hobby.

I may not appreciate my husband's craft beer or woodworking, but if it's not making us unable to afford other things, I am polite, respectful, and don't get involved.

You don't need to love the stuff she makes. Just say something nice. Maybe try doing some crafting together. You're not superior to her because your interest is gym.


Team OP. The wife sounds quite stupid to begin with and I’m a wife myself. Who spends hundreds of dollars on worthless paper and glitter? Just shows she’s ditzy and has nothing valuable to contribute to society.

Crafting is a perfectly legitimate hobby. There are entire stores to service it - it's that popular. Biglaw lawyers, doctors, therapists... Lots of people do this hobby. You sound contemptuous too. I'm sure you're a joy at parties.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 13:51     Subject: Re:Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage.


Going to the gym makes you feel good. Crafting makes her feel good.

She works part time. So separate your finances if the money bothers you so much. I'm more disturbed by your attitude. You sound contemptuous of her hobby and tastes. It has nothing to do with the 20 lbs. That's a separate issue, don't mix it up with her hobby.

I may not appreciate my husband's craft beer or woodworking, but if it's not making us unable to afford other things, I am polite, respectful, and don't get involved.

You don't need to love the stuff she makes. Just say something nice. Maybe try doing some crafting together. You're not superior to her because your interest is gym.


Team OP. The wife sounds quite stupid to begin with and I’m a wife myself. Who spends hundreds of dollars on worthless paper and glitter? Just shows she’s ditzy and has nothing valuable to contribute to society.


If OP feels that way, he should divorce his wife. But if he is going to stay with her, then he needs to deal with the contempt. It's toxic to a marriage. If she's such a useless person, why did he marry her?
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 13:49     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Stop judging her hobby. You think it's stupid, but she apparently doesn't. Focus on the budget and the clutter. As for the budget -- each of you should have a set amount that you can spend on hobbies, whatever they are -- working out, crafting, building model cars, growing flowers, golfing, whatever. Then you each get to spend it on whatever you want.

The clutter is also a separate issue. Figure out some kind of storage and organization. It might even help her spend less, because she'll be able to see what she already has.

Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 13:27     Subject: Re:Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage.


Going to the gym makes you feel good. Crafting makes her feel good.


She works part time. So separate your finances if the money bothers you so much. I'm more disturbed by your attitude. You sound contemptuous of her hobby and tastes. It has nothing to do with the 20 lbs. That's a separate issue, don't mix it up with her hobby.

I may not appreciate my husband's craft beer or woodworking, but if it's not making us unable to afford other things, I am polite, respectful, and don't get involved.

You don't need to love the stuff she makes. Just say something nice. Maybe try doing some crafting together. You're not superior to her because your interest is gym.


Team OP. The wife sounds quite stupid to begin with and I’m a wife myself. Who spends hundreds of dollars on worthless paper and glitter? Just shows she’s ditzy and has nothing valuable to contribute to society.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 12:53     Subject: Re:Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage.


Going to the gym makes you feel good. Crafting makes her feel good.

She works part time. So separate your finances if the money bothers you so much. I'm more disturbed by your attitude. You sound contemptuous of her hobby and tastes. It has nothing to do with the 20 lbs. That's a separate issue, don't mix it up with her hobby.

I may not appreciate my husband's craft beer or woodworking, but if it's not making us unable to afford other things, I am polite, respectful, and don't get involved.

You don't need to love the stuff she makes. Just say something nice. Maybe try doing some crafting together. You're not superior to her because your interest is gym.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 12:46     Subject: Re:Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
OP again. How is going to the gym a hobby? It’s for health and wellness. And yes, she is 20 lbs over than her usual weight and I’m not afraid to call her out on it. She knows I roll my eyes whenever she comes back with the crap and no, the craft room is where she stores the stuff. The completed crap gets put up on display and it’s just cheap and tacky AF. She crafted a little when we were dating but that was when we kept our finances separate and I don’t think she had the money then to go crazy at Hobby Lobby. Now, she does and I’m considering keeping our finances separate again because she has also max out her credit cards (Continual non-payments while racking up at Hobby Lobby and Michaels). She doesn’t think she spends too much money because she will point to so-and-so or another friend and say “But they spend twice as much as me on the same stuff” and I’ll tease her with “Well, I’m not surprised so-and-so and her husband are separating”. Not making this s*** up! She works from home part time now so that is why she has the free time to go and craft. But no, she won’t go and exercise at all, not even walking with me. I think it’s a combination of the crafts being expensive, stupid, waste of time and the opportunity costs of her crafting becoming a strain on our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 11:54     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:A few issues here, and we do not know enough about the situation but: I am a crafter and I love creating but you can look around your house and use supplies you have without overspending at Michael’s. I hate waste and clutter and am basically a minimalist.

A. If you are a crafter and do want to go the Michael’s route, set a budget together.

B. If the issue is more dislike and contempt and crafting is just a stand-in (and could just as easily be hobby a, b, or c), then own that.


This. I’m not into crafting either but for people who are, clearly they enjoy it, and that has value to them. I am not a professional musician but I spend a lot of time and money on my instruments. Who’s to say that’s any better use of time?

If the wife is keeping the clutter in her craft room, then who cares. If the real issues are the money and time spent, then set a hobby budget for both of you - and OP, your gym comes out of that - and talk about spending more time together.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 11:53     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a hoarder mom and I HATE clutter, it gives me ptsd.
I would arrange for a special room or barn or whatever where she keeps all her crap.
When my child was younger the clutter stressed me out so much. I would literally throw his toys out of the kitchen back to the living room or made him take them to his room.
It is maddening


Get medication and therapy. At least op's thread is good for something.


OP here again. My mom was a hoarder too and it was one of the reasons I decided to cut contact. I can’t deal with the roaches and the piles of musty mildew stuff in my childhood home. My wife is not a hoarder but she’s getting there with all the stuff she’s piling up in her ‘craft room’. She spends time sitting and gluing with glitter and goodness knows what to gift to people, to put up on our walls, and I have told her her crafting is pretty pointless and doesn’t value add to anything. And yet is costing us at least $600 a month. That could pay for some personal training sessions at my gym but no, she rather sits at home cutting colorful paper and getting glitter over the carpet. I’m at my wits end.


OP, be careful what you wish for. If she spent her time and money working out, maybe she’d lose a bunch of weight, get super hot, and leave your ass for a younger, hotter, richer dude who ALSO LIKES CRAFTING. Then they would spend all their time in his mansion coating their hot, super-ripped bods in glitter and having insane, acrobatic monkey sex on camera for a community of erotic crafters and making major ducats while you sit alone in your empty, craft-free house.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 11:48     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wait...there is a Hobby Lobby in our area?


There’s one in Leesburg at least. Near the outlet malls.

Why?


Because there aren’t any in DC or MoCo. I didn’t know they were over here.


There is also one in Columbia.

Fairfax too, Fair Lakes


Alexandria as well
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 11:37     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
My husband spends too much money on stupid woodworking projects. Better than therapy I suppose. Every trip to home depot is 200 dollars.
Anonymous
Post 08/25/2020 11:31     Subject: Wife spends too much money on stupid crafts
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You sound like a peach. Just be lucky you found someone who puts up with your bad attitude. Wife's crafting is the least of your worries. You need a new personality.


No, OP sounds normal and it's the wife that has a problem. I am sure she is not working if this is how she's spending all her time.


I do wonder what is it with women and crafting though? And sorry to say but 99% of the stuff is junk. When men do crafts, they make items with utility like tables, woodwork...women just glue pieces of paper together and clutter the house. I’m a woman and I’m so embarrassed to be associated with such an insipid activity.


You never had a women in your life who loved you enough to make you a quilt or knit you a scarf? I'm sorry.