Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Yep I wouldn't want to date at this age so I'm good. A couple of pets, hobbies, travel, peace and quiet.....why would anyone want to mess that all up.

+1

If my DH and I get divorced it is not because I want to date someone else. I am fine being single.

I would need sex. Frequently.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Yep I wouldn't want to date at this age so I'm good. A couple of pets, hobbies, travel, peace and quiet.....why would anyone want to mess that all up.

+1

If my DH and I get divorced it is not because I want to date someone else. I am fine being single.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ Actually, since she has agency to make her own rules for her life, she can make that decision. Stop with your sexless marriage narrative - it’s really overdone.

The cheating narrative is sooo overdone. Nobody cares, please stop posting 20 times per day about cheating husbands.

lol not that poster, but maybe in your group.

Yes people do care and label the cheater as a low life, scum, and many other adjectives. If you think no one cares it tells me you need to raise the bar in your own life.

If anything the sexless OCD poster has some really sad issues. Maybe once they get to the first step they can get get to step 2, 3, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sitting here alone, rejected by my wife again, sex 2x in 2020 and I have no idea what the point is of a celibate marriage.

So I am done. But she is a SAHM, 13 years now. Economy sucks, she needs a job. We are both stuck.

Of course, if I cheat, I'm am the bad guy, not her.

Thanks for the vent. I would swap places with the PP who at least got a romantic trip to France with hot sex. Better than a celibate guest room.

Give her an ultimatum: divorce, open marriage or she resumes sex. Since she’s economically dependent from you, there is a lot of leverage. I am a SAHM who’s economically dependent on and rejected by husband. For me, the only way to go is to get a job and file for divorce. You are in a better position.

We had this discussion, she steps it up for a short period, pouts when having sex and then resentment grows.

I have thought about divorce but I want to be present for the last few years before the kids are older and independent. Then I can leave. The strange thing is she will show me places we should buy a place at to semi-retire to, and it amazes me it never seems to dawn on her she isn't going to be retiring with me at this rate.

Thanks for your suggestions, if only it were that easy.

Have her sign an agreement that you have an open marriage. Otherwise, if you start getting sex elsewhere, she will say you cheated and depending on a state where you live she’ll get hefty alimony and 75% of marital assets. If you cheat, never book same hotel rooms, don’t use credit cards or subscribe for online services, don’t write emails or even call to the lady from anywhere but outdoors.
My husband is the same, completely delusional. He lives separately in the basement talking to her every day, but says we should buy another home together next year. I am so sick. My teenage son doesn’t want to live with him, asking “when will you already divorce” and they don’t talk

]

Um, no: unless he's in one of the few remaining ass-backwards puritanical states (maybe VA?) nobody cares about an affair, there is no such thing as alimony

PP: your ultimatum needs to be very specific: for example sex twice per week every tuesday and friday (with obviously some wiggle room in case tuesday somebody is sickor whetever then move it to wednesday). This is a simple Yes or No question for her with clear expectations of what you need that she can either agree to or not. If she then chooses not to be your wife, she can either move out or look the other way as you save the marriage by having sex elsewhere.

Um, no. My friend got alimony for life because of a small disability for her knee. Unless she remarries. Also look up Grey Divorces. I was a SAHM during my divorce and received alimony for 3 years. If you choose to cheat it's a big cause for divorce. If you weren't so worried about the consequences you would do it out in the open.

When you go before a judge you never know what will happen. My divorce lawyer told me that and he was right. My sil's husband had an affair. Legally it didn't matter, but the judge heard about it and my sil was awarded more of the assets so there's that. Her Dh at the time also cut her off the insurance plan and was punished by the judge.

Anonymous wrote:^ Actually, since she has agency to make her own rules for her life, she can make that decision. Stop with your sexless marriage narrative - it’s really overdone.

The cheating narrative is sooo overdone. Nobody cares, please stop posting 20 times per day about cheating husbands.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

You can’t make “cheating” divorce worthy unless you would also divorce over “low sex marriage”. Either sex is important, or it’s not. It can’t only be important when your spouse finds it elsewhere.

Your thinking isn't right. You constantly justify being a liar and a cheater.

Best to get off these forums and fix that IMHO.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Yep I wouldn't want to date at this age so I'm good. A couple of pets, hobbies, travel, peace and quiet.....why would anyone want to mess that all up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

You can’t make “cheating” divorce worthy unless you would also divorce over “low sex marriage”. Either sex is important, or it’s not. It can’t only be important when your spouse finds it elsewhere.

Most people would classify sexual abandonment as abuse/neglect and it's grounds for divorce. The whole concept of consummating a marriage meant you didn't have a real marriage until you started having sex. It's only a few loud people on here who think sex is optional in marriage and you owe being faithful if you are rejected

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

You can’t make “cheating” divorce worthy unless you would also divorce over “low sex marriage”. Either sex is important, or it’s not. It can’t only be important when your spouse finds it elsewhere.

Well -we had a high sex marriage and he was having an affair. We had a helluva lot more sex and variety of sex (3-4 times per week) than he had with his 1-2 time per month married whore.

^ Actually, since she has agency to make her own rules for her life, she can make that decision. Stop with your sexless marriage narrative - it’s really overdone.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

You can’t make “cheating” divorce worthy unless you would also divorce over “low sex marriage”. Either sex is important, or it’s not. It can’t only be important when your spouse finds it elsewhere.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Agree. My soon to be EX DH is a big weirdo: he has a hysteric whenever the forks are not lined up perfectly in the kitchen drawer. Good luck dating him online. I will rather stay single.

Anonymous wrote:I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Isn’t this a woman’s perspective or a man’s as well?

I am a widow, and I think anyone contemplating divorce for anything other than cheating, abuse or addiction should be forced to online date for 6 months and then decide. Because all the single people are broken or weirdos

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why there are marriage vows. Because it gets really, really hard.

But life is short so if you are miserable, how long should you stay? I mean, why waste your life with someone who doesn't make you happy or bring out the best in you?

For your kids. The kids you chose to bring into this world with him as their father.

And to add to this, my own reasons for divorce absent affair/abuse/addiction, would only be if I truly thought my kids would be better off. Otherwise I’d wait until the kids were adults.

Np: I know people whose parents waited to divorce until the children were grown and those “children” are now very messed up because they feel tricked and lied to...waiting until the kids are out of the house is not doing the better thing, in some cases, it’s much worse for them (if that’s your main concern).

I agree. Staying together for the kids is a 100% excuse for something else.