Anonymous wrote:Don't get fat. It will ruin your marriage in ways you never thought. Your spouse will lose respect for you and that will play out in many ways...they just won't tell you that it's the weight...but it is.

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t like their family, don’t get married

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

Your advice should simply say “don’t get married”. And only a dummy buys volatile commodities as an investment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Don't combine funds.

Actually mine is the opposite. Do combine them.

+1

+2 Unless you come in with a kid I think it's best to combine completely and fully. You're one unit, one team, rowing in the same direction.

For us, I think it's better we have combined accounts and separate accounts. I don't want to be in his grill if he wants to buy some junk on ebay, and I don't want him seeing another pair of shoes on my credit card. We have the big picture together, we have the small stuff separate - I think some amount of financial privacy in a marriage is good. At least it is for us.

We don't have kids - and aren't planning to - and we do have a high amount of trust, so I think that makes it easier for us to maintain some separation as far as that goes.

I have two pieces of advice, 10 years into my marriage:

1. Marry someone who is on the same team as you. As others are saying, be driving in the same car to the same place. Be each other's cheerleader. Even when you fight, remember that you are on the same team.

2. Have separate bathrooms.

Anonymous wrote:I would tell a man (and will tell my son):

1. Do not get married unless she is way out of your league in terms of looks, income, assets, social status.
2. Keep finances separate.
3. Do not entangle pre-marital assets.
4. Keep a safe deposit box in another state with enough cash to hire a lawyer and enough money to live off for six months.
5. During the marriage, withdraw cash from your paycheck every two weeks and buy gold coins. Keep them in the safe deposit box.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Regular sex is a must. If you think differently, for gosh sakes let your fiance know before you walk down the aisle. I love my wife. She's a fabulous mother and a partner in life. But I have been starving for sexual intimacy for a decade. If she only knew how much of a pushover I'd be on what to remodel or when to get a new vehicle for her if she was taking me to bed regularly.

I work towards keeping the marriage together for my kids, but it would be so much more fulfilling with even once a month sex. Even bad sex.

Do not marry someone you don't want to regularly get naked with. Just don't. If they do something that makes you not want them (gain weight, piss you off) then work through it. Husbands and wives were meant to be having sex.

It doesn't work that way. The relationship changes in many ways, people mature, bodies change and with age comes loss of attraction.

It's not a must, but if you found a fabulous mother and partner well then you hit the lottery compared to most people.