Anonymous
02/21/2023 18:08
Subject: Re:What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Having the child sit upfront next to the driver as soon as they are old enough to be allowed to do so probably helps a lot to "mentally prepare" them for driving when the time is right. Biking on neighborhood roads to build some traffic awareness as well.
A full year before he reached driving age, I started asking my DS to not be distracted while in the car (no staring at his phone) and pay attention to the road while I am driving, to everything I do in traffic, and mentally make his own decisions (and compare with mine), to "simulate" an in-traffic experience. This is what a driving instructor - in the notoriously chaotic city in a developing country I had grown up in - had asked me to do when I was getting ready to drive and I really benefited from that. We had very limited time with an instructor, that too on a clunky stick shift, and the hours of make-believe driving sitting next to various family members I felt had prepared me well to not panic and be confident (except once when the stick shift stalled badly in busy traffic up a slope
).
It helped that my DS really wanted to drive, and took to it quite well when he got his learner's permit.
Some people are just not ready to drive at age 16 for whatever reason. I don't think they should be forced, as one semi-bad incident can affect their future ability to drive. I know of many who weren't ready for a while, and eventually started driving in their early-20s and became fine drivers. Maybe their confidence had improved, or concentration, or hand-eye coordination, executive skills, whatever. People develop and change at different rates, and that's fine. And some may never drive as well, which also should be fine. Some of them even manage to learn at an older age if and when they absolutely need to.
A full year before he reached driving age, I started asking my DS to not be distracted while in the car (no staring at his phone) and pay attention to the road while I am driving, to everything I do in traffic, and mentally make his own decisions (and compare with mine), to "simulate" an in-traffic experience. This is what a driving instructor - in the notoriously chaotic city in a developing country I had grown up in - had asked me to do when I was getting ready to drive and I really benefited from that. We had very limited time with an instructor, that too on a clunky stick shift, and the hours of make-believe driving sitting next to various family members I felt had prepared me well to not panic and be confident (except once when the stick shift stalled badly in busy traffic up a slope
).
It helped that my DS really wanted to drive, and took to it quite well when he got his learner's permit.
Some people are just not ready to drive at age 16 for whatever reason. I don't think they should be forced, as one semi-bad incident can affect their future ability to drive. I know of many who weren't ready for a while, and eventually started driving in their early-20s and became fine drivers. Maybe their confidence had improved, or concentration, or hand-eye coordination, executive skills, whatever. People develop and change at different rates, and that's fine. And some may never drive as well, which also should be fine. Some of them even manage to learn at an older age if and when they absolutely need to.
Anonymous
02/21/2023 14:37
Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:
NEWS FLASH — OLD OLD THREAD
So funny, I love it!
Makes me think, if a friend told you their kid was struggling with the driving test three years ago and then you saw them again today would you say, "Hey, I've got a bunch of great advice for you to help your kid pass that driving test!"
Anonymous
02/21/2023 14:28
Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
DS 17y has SIGNIFICANT anxiety re: driving. Passed the written portion of the test with flying colors. He was fine in a parking lot by himself. He is nervous in our low key neighborhood but does ok, but nearly panics when he has to get on road with any traffic on it.
He is about to start therapy because he realizes his options are limited and he wants to drive (we are also in an area with no public transportation.)
Parallel parking isn't on the maryland test (not sure if other states require it.) I agree that it is an important skill, but it isn't imerative to get a license.
He is about to start therapy because he realizes his options are limited and he wants to drive (we are also in an area with no public transportation.)
Parallel parking isn't on the maryland test (not sure if other states require it.) I agree that it is an important skill, but it isn't imerative to get a license.
Anonymous
02/21/2023 14:19
Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
*limit
Limit your driving substantially
My spouse is HFA and can’t even tell how fast he’s going and doesn’t look at the speedometer, and gets angry if asked to. And if using GPS he totally checks out from watching for pedestrians or detours or road signs.
Needless to say, I gladly pay a nanny to do most driving during after hours or weekends, or I drive us all myself.
Limit your driving substantially
My spouse is HFA and can’t even tell how fast he’s going and doesn’t look at the speedometer, and gets angry if asked to. And if using GPS he totally checks out from watching for pedestrians or detours or road signs.
Needless to say, I gladly pay a nanny to do most driving during after hours or weekends, or I drive us all myself.
Anonymous
02/21/2023 14:14
Subject: What did you do when you realized your young adult was not smart enough to obtain a driver's license
Anonymous wrote:I am on the spectrum and struggle with driving on highways, etc. My issue is that I cannot for the life of me predict what anyone else on the road is going to do. I have a job that I can drive to without getting on the highway. I have a car with lots of technology -- rear backup assist, parking assist and a device in my mirrors that tells me that the lane is clear before I switch lanes. I also use cruise control a good bit. We have a new subaru with the fancy cruise control that slows down if you are advancing on a car in front of you, lane assist, etc. Even so, I have gotten LOTS of tickets! And a few accidents! I have two kids on the spectrum and they both hate to drive as well.
I hope you all lost your driving substantially. Invisible disabilities are no joke when driving at 40 or 60 or 80mph.