I am pregnant with #4 (my oldest just turned 5). I don’t work anymore and we have a lot of help (nanny + part-time housekeeper, and I’ll have a night nurse for the first 12 or so weeks). It’s not uncommon in my circle to have 3 or 4, but I definitely have gotten a few “whoa!” comments. All of our children were planned, but I get a lot of assumptions that we couldn’t possibly want 4 under age 5. We always set out to have a big family and I’d rather get the baby stage finished! Plus it’s so lovely to have them near in age. My oldest two are 17 months apart and they are very close.

Anonymous wrote:4 is unusual and 5+ is weirdo territory. Most (not all but most) people I know with 4 had a set of twins at the end, or 3 and then an oops pregnancy later in life, something like that.

The 5 family I know had a set of oops triplets (naturally, not IVF).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weirdest are families with 1. They agonize and obsess over everything precious Larla does. Not all parents. But many.

+1

We are having our fourth and are more laid back than people we know with only one. Like the freaks at the park who follow their kid around the whole time. It’s straight up weird. I’m seeing more and more friends have 4 while still having a career and happy marriage and full life. Already the saying was “three is the new two.” Now that that study found that 4 is the ideal number, will it be 4?

+2. We have a relative with one kid and EVERYBODY asks her why she only has 1. The tone of these questions range from mild curiosity to extremely judgey and rude, treating her like she’s a freak. When I used to have 2 kids, I’ve had a couple of women say things like “you only have the two? No more?” Most people in our circle have 3+ kids, send all to private school and colleges, have nannies, family money probably, etc. It’s way less common and weird for umc/uc to have fewer kids nowadays.

I mean, this is 100% subjective. I think for me, people who have more than 3 kids appear a bit weird.

We are happy with our one, but that’s because we want to be able to save for retirement, go on vacations, and send her to private school. In this area, we can’t afford to do that with 2.

I think 3 is a lot. I start looking askance at 4.

5-6 is when I start wondering about whether you're in a cult or just have unmet emotional needs you're filling with babies.

Sorry, but this is anonymous and that's how I feel. Also, I think it's totally environmentally irresponsible.

If you can’t fit in a single minivan or Suburban type car, it’s weird.

4 is unusual and 5+ is weirdo territory. Most (not all but most) people I know with 4 had a set of twins at the end, or 3 and then an oops pregnancy later in life, something like that.

In this area, 4 is making a statement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people with 6+ kids are crazy, but I know a wonderful mother with 10(9 girls 1 boy) and she isn’t crazy at all. The kids all go to public school, they play sports, older kids don’t raise the littles ones, and she seems to really know and appreciate her kids individually, not as a unit or set. Her older 3 are in college. 1 on a soccer scholarship, the other two music related scholarships.

Of course. I don’t know any family of 3+ kids that doesn’t rely mostly on scholarships and grants for their kids education.
We’re paying for all these families.

Also, they heavily rely on government programs and handouts and church’s charity because in reality very very few of them can afford all those children.

I'm certain that families with 1/2 kids also rely on grants and scholarships!

Just think-those educated kids from 3+ kids families, will be paying into YOUR Social Security! Great return on investment!

Anonymous wrote:Weirdest are families with 1. They agonize and obsess over everything precious Larla does. Not all parents. But many.

+1

We are having our fourth and are more laid back than people we know with only one. Like the freaks at the park who follow their kid around the whole time. It’s straight up weird. I’m seeing more and more friends have 4 while still having a career and happy marriage and full life. Already the saying was “three is the new two.” Now that that study found that 4 is the ideal number, will it be 4?

Anonymous wrote:I think most people with 6+ kids are crazy, but I know a wonderful mother with 10(9 girls 1 boy) and she isn’t crazy at all. The kids all go to public school, they play sports, older kids don’t raise the littles ones, and she seems to really know and appreciate her kids individually, not as a unit or set. Her older 3 are in college. 1 on a soccer scholarship, the other two music related scholarships.

Of course. I don’t know any family of 3+ kids that doesn’t rely mostly on scholarships and grants for their kids education.
We’re paying for all these families.

Also, they heavily rely on government programs and handouts and church’s charity because in reality very very few of them can afford all those children.

Weirdest are families with 1. They agonize and obsess over everything precious Larla does. Not all parents. But many.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure where the line is. I know blended families of 4 and 5 kids, and they are perfectly normal. I also know a blended family with 8 kids, and that is too many!

No eight is enough.

Actually I’d say 5 for OP’s question but I would think of blended families differently. Also if you have kids ranging in age from toddler to college graduate that makes me do a double take (again different for blended families).

Why is that?

I have 6 kids, 4 young adults, one hs senior and one starting K. Same dad, my dh. We chose it and love it. Oldest graduated college, next one working, next two in school and working. HS kid, honor roll and looking ahead. So I'd say they're turning out well.

I no longer drive a van (miss my minivans and esp my Astro Van, that was the bomb!) or fill two carts at Sams Club. Actually we moved away from where the older kids were raised, and people are so suprised to hear how many kids I have-I wonder, what do they THINK I should look/act like for having so many LOL

There's no answer for this question-I know weird families with 3 kids, and very normal families with 7.

Anonymous wrote:5+. But go for it. We need good people on the planet, to make up for all the others. One of the problems we have, in addition to single parenting, is children being too “special” to their parents and who then become over-privileged adults. If the last few weeks haven’t been proof of that, you’re not paying attention.

Example of a “weirdo” (putting it nicely) who shouldn’t breed at all.

OP: Thanks for the feedback. Seems like DH wins this one, I was sure 4 made us the weirdos. (We are religious and crazy, but I think 4 may be my limit.)