Anonymous wrote:$60k isn’t going to be livable in the DMV for a SAHM used to a $250-300k HHI and million home.

Truth. If I would have gone to court, I would have gotten maybe 50k for a few years. Better for me to waive it (which I did) and go back to work.

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Anonymous wrote:On what planet is a divorced able bodied woman supported by her EX husband? Earth to the clueless: it's year 2020. GET A FULLTIME JOB LADIES. For all intents, is no such thing as alimony anymore.

I don’t think that really happens anymore. I got no alimony and very little child support.

The only men I know who support their ex-wives basically gave up custody because they wanted to move out of state, focus on work, or didn’t enjoy being a parent. So they end up paying a lot more in child support since mom has them full-time. Often they send extra money because they feel guilty.

I think many women don’t realize this until it’s too late. They only read the fiction of fabulous lives and ex’s $.

I don’t know any woman who divorced thinking they would get a ton of money, and they were all happy to give up money for their freedom.

+1

It is not the old days. Women are not being supported post-divorce. People who think otherwise have no clue.

The original question was SAHM.

A woman who is a SAHM in a long-term relationship will get spousal support. Typically for half the length of the marriage and if married over 20 years, lifetime. Especially if the husband is a high earner.

No. Your information is about 60 years old. A SAHM will NOT get long term spousal support and definitely not lifetime spousal support. She will get a full time job and support herself like functioning adults do.
At BEST she will get a couple dollars while she trains her way back into the workforce.

No, honey. My information about this is not 60 years old. It is based on my experience getting separated and divorced in Virginia in the last 18 months.

It really comes down to the judge. Wife is required to work but in cases where she is a SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential, spousal support typically will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage, especially if there is a huge income difference.

I literally just went through this. What is your experience?

I ultimately ended up not having to pay her because I could provide adultery. But that was the only reason.

I am not that poster but your situation is not the norm. Most women in this area are not in this category: "SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential". Most are two income couples and if they are not, one spouse does not often make more than 250k a year to award enough spousal support to live on. And most don't have adultery as a factor where the offending party was the person without any income.

Most people do not get spousal support, and if they do, it is temporary until they can get a job. Especially people with household incomes of less than 250k.

Repeating something endlessly doesn’t make it true. I asked for your basis for your misinformation and you haven’t provided it.

I just went through this. I had the law fully explained to me by two different lawyers — the first one I consulted and the one I retained.

The LAW still grants spousal support and in cases where a SAHM has exited her career to care for children for any length of time, she will be given an imputed income and spousal support will be awarded for half the duration of the marriage based on the income differential. Because let’s be honest: in cases where a woman is just a stay at home mommy and the dad actually works, he is going to have a high income. This is a fairly common scenario, especially in the DCUM demographic.

So you get the dad earning $240,000 and the mom with an imputed income of, say, $60,000, spousal support will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage. If they were married more than 20 years, it can be awarded lifetime.

But if she cheats and it can be proven in court, she gets nothing.

This is the law, at least in Virginia. What you “think” happens isn’t relevant.

I’m sorry you are in the 18th century Commonwealth of Virginia. Maybe you guys should join the rest of our nation (and the modern world) by reforming those archaic puritanical laws?

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Anonymous wrote:On what planet is a divorced able bodied woman supported by her EX husband? Earth to the clueless: it's year 2020. GET A FULLTIME JOB LADIES. For all intents, is no such thing as alimony anymore.

I don’t think that really happens anymore. I got no alimony and very little child support.

The only men I know who support their ex-wives basically gave up custody because they wanted to move out of state, focus on work, or didn’t enjoy being a parent. So they end up paying a lot more in child support since mom has them full-time. Often they send extra money because they feel guilty.

I think many women don’t realize this until it’s too late. They only read the fiction of fabulous lives and ex’s $.

I don’t know any woman who divorced thinking they would get a ton of money, and they were all happy to give up money for their freedom.

+1

It is not the old days. Women are not being supported post-divorce. People who think otherwise have no clue.

The original question was SAHM.

A woman who is a SAHM in a long-term relationship will get spousal support. Typically for half the length of the marriage and if married over 20 years, lifetime. Especially if the husband is a high earner.

No. Your information is about 60 years old. A SAHM will NOT get long term spousal support and definitely not lifetime spousal support. She will get a full time job and support herself like functioning adults do.
At BEST she will get a couple dollars while she trains her way back into the workforce.

No, honey. My information about this is not 60 years old. It is based on my experience getting separated and divorced in Virginia in the last 18 months.

It really comes down to the judge. Wife is required to work but in cases where she is a SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential, spousal support typically will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage, especially if there is a huge income difference.

I literally just went through this. What is your experience?

I ultimately ended up not having to pay her because I could provide adultery. But that was the only reason.

I am not that poster but your situation is not the norm. Most women in this area are not in this category: "SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential". Most are two income couples and if they are not, one spouse does not often make more than 250k a year to award enough spousal support to live on. And most don't have adultery as a factor where the offending party was the person without any income.

Most people do not get spousal support, and if they do, it is temporary until they can get a job. Especially people with household incomes of less than 250k.

Repeating something endlessly doesn’t make it true. I asked for your basis for your misinformation and you haven’t provided it.

I just went through this. I had the law fully explained to me by two different lawyers — the first one I consulted and the one I retained.

The LAW still grants spousal support and in cases where a SAHM has exited her career to care for children for any length of time, she will be given an imputed income and spousal support will be awarded for half the duration of the marriage based on the income differential. Because let’s be honest: in cases where a woman is just a stay at home mommy and the dad actually works, he is going to have a high income. This is a fairly common scenario, especially in the DCUM demographic.

So you get the dad earning $240,000 and the mom with an imputed income of, say, $60,000, spousal support will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage. If they were married more than 20 years, it can be awarded lifetime.

But if she cheats and it can be proven in court, she gets nothing.

This is the law, at least in Virginia. What you “think” happens isn’t relevant.

You are not getting it. I understand the law. I just divorced an attorney. And I consulted three of my own.

Yes, you are correct—in your case.

What you are not understanding is that your situation is not the vast majority of divorces. It is the minority. Most cases don’t go to court—they mediate or do collaborative law so no judge is involved. (and most people to not have a cheating SAHM). Most people try to stay out of court on purpose. Most people do not get spousal support and it is usually temporary.

I am not disputing the law—I am disputing the fact that you think your case is the norm and it is not.

My ex refused be amicable if I tried to get spousal support despite the fact that I followed his career and had to get out of the workforce for a few years due to moving. I did not want to do that. However, due to my salary history and that I worked most of the marriage, I would have gotten spousal support for a few years if I went to court or if I did collaborative divorce. We did the cheapest and I waived it because spousal support would have meant selling the house (he kept it). I could have insisted but he would be more difficult to deal with long term, kids would have to move, etc., etc. Even in my case, if I got spousal support, it would not have been more than a few years due to my salary history.

More cases are like mine than yours. Most people are not getting the kind of spousal support you think they do. That’s all. Your legally correct in the particular scenario you describe…but that is a minority of divorces. Most don't even see a court room and many people are not SAHMs.

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Anonymous wrote:$60k isn’t going to be livable in the DMV for a SAHM used to a $250-300k HHI and million home.

I know of two former SAHM's who are living alone in small apartments. They are both much happier with jobs, friends, and the ability to live their lives the way they wish than they ever were living in a $1 million home and walking on eggshells all of the time.

With kids???

Yes and no. One has grown children, and the other has one child in high school.

They were both coaching college athletics. One lost her job during this, so she is hustling, but still happy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$60k isn’t going to be livable in the DMV for a SAHM used to a $250-300k HHI and million home.

I know of two former SAHM's who are living alone in small apartments. They are both much happier with jobs, friends, and the ability to live their lives the way they wish than they ever were living in a $1 million home and walking on eggshells all of the time.

With kids???

Anonymous wrote:$60k isn’t going to be livable in the DMV for a SAHM used to a $250-300k HHI and million home.

I know of two former SAHM's who are living alone in small apartments. They are both much happier with jobs, friends, and the ability to live their lives the way they wish than they ever were living in a $1 million home and walking on eggshells all of the time.

$60k isn’t going to be livable in the DMV for a SAHM used to a $250-300k HHI and million home.

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Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Yeah, it really does. Proof of adultery = bye-bye, spousal support!

Your premise is that there would be any spousal support in the first place which is almost never the case nowadays.

If the woman is a SAHM, there presumably would have been SOME spousal support at least temporarily. But with proof of adultery, the innocent party is relieved from paying spousal support.

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Anonymous wrote:On what planet is a divorced able bodied woman supported by her EX husband? Earth to the clueless: it's year 2020. GET A FULLTIME JOB LADIES. For all intents, is no such thing as alimony anymore.

I don’t think that really happens anymore. I got no alimony and very little child support.

The only men I know who support their ex-wives basically gave up custody because they wanted to move out of state, focus on work, or didn’t enjoy being a parent. So they end up paying a lot more in child support since mom has them full-time. Often they send extra money because they feel guilty.

I think many women don’t realize this until it’s too late. They only read the fiction of fabulous lives and ex’s $.

I don’t know any woman who divorced thinking they would get a ton of money, and they were all happy to give up money for their freedom.

+1

It is not the old days. Women are not being supported post-divorce. People who think otherwise have no clue.

The original question was SAHM.

A woman who is a SAHM in a long-term relationship will get spousal support. Typically for half the length of the marriage and if married over 20 years, lifetime. Especially if the husband is a high earner.

No. Your information is about 60 years old. A SAHM will NOT get long term spousal support and definitely not lifetime spousal support. She will get a full time job and support herself like functioning adults do.
At BEST she will get a couple dollars while she trains her way back into the workforce.

No, honey. My information about this is not 60 years old. It is based on my experience getting separated and divorced in Virginia in the last 18 months.

It really comes down to the judge. Wife is required to work but in cases where she is a SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential, spousal support typically will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage, especially if there is a huge income difference.

I literally just went through this. What is your experience?

I ultimately ended up not having to pay her because I could provide adultery. But that was the only reason.

I am not that poster but your situation is not the norm. Most women in this area are not in this category: "SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential". Most are two income couples and if they are not, one spouse does not often make more than 250k a year to award enough spousal support to live on. And most don't have adultery as a factor where the offending party was the person without any income.

Most people do not get spousal support, and if they do, it is temporary until they can get a job. Especially people with household incomes of less than 250k.

Repeating something endlessly doesn’t make it true. I asked for your basis for your misinformation and you haven’t provided it.

I just went through this. I had the law fully explained to me by two different lawyers — the first one I consulted and the one I retained.

The LAW still grants spousal support and in cases where a SAHM has exited her career to care for children for any length of time, she will be given an imputed income and spousal support will be awarded for half the duration of the marriage based on the income differential. Because let’s be honest: in cases where a woman is just a stay at home mommy and the dad actually works, he is going to have a high income. This is a fairly common scenario, especially in the DCUM demographic.

So you get the dad earning $240,000 and the mom with an imputed income of, say, $60,000, spousal support will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage. If they were married more than 20 years, it can be awarded lifetime.

But if she cheats and it can be proven in court, she gets nothing.

This is the law, at least in Virginia. What you “think” happens isn’t relevant.

Oh, and most divorces, 95% are done out of court in VA. Only 5% see a court room. So, again, your situation is not the norm.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On what planet is a divorced able bodied woman supported by her EX husband? Earth to the clueless: it's year 2020. GET A FULLTIME JOB LADIES. For all intents, is no such thing as alimony anymore.

I don’t think that really happens anymore. I got no alimony and very little child support.

The only men I know who support their ex-wives basically gave up custody because they wanted to move out of state, focus on work, or didn’t enjoy being a parent. So they end up paying a lot more in child support since mom has them full-time. Often they send extra money because they feel guilty.

I think many women don’t realize this until it’s too late. They only read the fiction of fabulous lives and ex’s $.

I don’t know any woman who divorced thinking they would get a ton of money, and they were all happy to give up money for their freedom.

+1

It is not the old days. Women are not being supported post-divorce. People who think otherwise have no clue.

The original question was SAHM.

A woman who is a SAHM in a long-term relationship will get spousal support. Typically for half the length of the marriage and if married over 20 years, lifetime. Especially if the husband is a high earner.

No. Your information is about 60 years old. A SAHM will NOT get long term spousal support and definitely not lifetime spousal support. She will get a full time job and support herself like functioning adults do.
At BEST she will get a couple dollars while she trains her way back into the workforce.

No, honey. My information about this is not 60 years old. It is based on my experience getting separated and divorced in Virginia in the last 18 months.

It really comes down to the judge. Wife is required to work but in cases where she is a SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential, spousal support typically will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage, especially if there is a huge income difference.

I literally just went through this. What is your experience?

I ultimately ended up not having to pay her because I could provide adultery. But that was the only reason.

I am not that poster but your situation is not the norm. Most women in this area are not in this category: "SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential". Most are two income couples and if they are not, one spouse does not often make more than 250k a year to award enough spousal support to live on. And most don't have adultery as a factor where the offending party was the person without any income.

Most people do not get spousal support, and if they do, it is temporary until they can get a job. Especially people with household incomes of less than 250k.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Yeah, it really does. Proof of adultery = bye-bye, spousal support!

Your premise is that there would be any spousal support in the first place which is almost never the case nowadays.

Exactly. If people get it, it is temporary. And only people with very high income spouse would get enough to live on (and even that may be a few years and not more). Almost everyone would have to get a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On what planet is a divorced able bodied woman supported by her EX husband? Earth to the clueless: it's year 2020. GET A FULLTIME JOB LADIES. For all intents, is no such thing as alimony anymore.

I don’t think that really happens anymore. I got no alimony and very little child support.

The only men I know who support their ex-wives basically gave up custody because they wanted to move out of state, focus on work, or didn’t enjoy being a parent. So they end up paying a lot more in child support since mom has them full-time. Often they send extra money because they feel guilty.

I think many women don’t realize this until it’s too late. They only read the fiction of fabulous lives and ex’s $.

I don’t know any woman who divorced thinking they would get a ton of money, and they were all happy to give up money for their freedom.

+1

It is not the old days. Women are not being supported post-divorce. People who think otherwise have no clue.

The original question was SAHM.

A woman who is a SAHM in a long-term relationship will get spousal support. Typically for half the length of the marriage and if married over 20 years, lifetime. Especially if the husband is a high earner.

No. Your information is about 60 years old. A SAHM will NOT get long term spousal support and definitely not lifetime spousal support. She will get a full time job and support herself like functioning adults do.
At BEST she will get a couple dollars while she trains her way back into the workforce.

No, honey. My information about this is not 60 years old. It is based on my experience getting separated and divorced in Virginia in the last 18 months.

It really comes down to the judge. Wife is required to work but in cases where she is a SAHM and doesn’t have earning potential, spousal support typically will be awarded for a duration of half the marriage, especially if there is a huge income difference.

I literally just went through this. What is your experience?

I ultimately ended up not having to pay her because I could provide adultery. But that was the only reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Yeah, it really does. Proof of adultery = bye-bye, spousal support!

Your premise is that there would be any spousal support in the first place which is almost never the case nowadays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places like WalMart, Target, Joanne are always hiring. If her income is low enough, she will qualify for SNAP benefits and Medicaid. Her lifestyle will take a huge hit but she won't be homeless on the street.

If there's no prenup, she will be entitled to at least some spousal support. The courts in most states don't care if she had a thousand affairs.

In Virginia, they do.

No, VA does not really care.

Yeah, it really does. Proof of adultery = bye-bye, spousal support!

Read earlier comment. That is the only exception. But a lot women are not going to get spousal support anyway. A man who makes money who cheats is not going to pay more.

It really does not matter in most cases.