Anonymous wrote:I think you should ask them again. As in all things remember that requests work better when there is gratitude not attitude. Try the sandwich approach (2 positives/good things, 1 and only 1 request/comment/constructive criticism, 2 positives/good things).

Call them to find out how they're doing. Tell them you've been thinking a lot about how much of a burden they undertook with your (shared) father and how they did such a great job, tell them how happy you were that they had a graveside service and your (shared) father would have been so pleased, ask for the pictures and offer to venmo the money for postage, tell them how much they meant to your (shared) father, tell them how much all their work meant to you. Then see what happens.

Write out what you're going to say before hand and check your list as you run through it during the call. This helps ensure you deploy the strategy with fidelity so that you increase your chances of success.

The sandwich approach is aka the oreo approach.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:I really don't know what else you want from us here OP.

Most people have told you to forget about the photos. Many others have told you what they think of your behavior towards your father.

You've gotten plenty of answers from plenty of people. So why do you feel a need to still come on here and continue to justify yourself? Take your answers and be done with it already.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what, packing up someone's belongings is tough work. If they did it, you need to be grateful. It was your work to do. And they did it.

Your attitude needs some serious adjustment. No photos for you. Sorry. If you had closed up his estate, then you could have saved whatever you wanted.

It is tough work for most people. He did almost all of this himself before going into hospice house. You have probably never known as neat and organized person as my dad who downsized a lot before going into hospice. They could have packed up what they wanted to keep in only a few hours. Anything left, like clothes, were donated. He was the extreme opposite of a hoarder. Most people fall somewhere, in the middle, so packing up their stuff would be a lot of work. If someone gave you everything, in someone else’s small estate, and you did not want to set aside photos, when you had asked them beforehand, what they wanted, and then you deliberately decided not to send the photos, then you would be a very petty person. It is more understandable if they forgot to do this.


[/quote

I've packed up my dead father's belongings. It was hard. It will be hard when it's my mother. If you had done it, you could say it wasn't hard. You haven't, so you wouldn't really know.