Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another extreme introvert here and I feel exactly the same way, OP. I think part of this is just an interesting aspect of being a ‘minority’ on the personality scale. For the first time, many extroverts are forced to spend their time doing the things that introverts prefer, and many don’t enjoy it. Our society is structured around the preferences of extroverts so this type of quiet is disconcerting to many people. Add to that the very real tragedies associated with this disease and it’s unacceptable to admit that this new pace of life is in any way satisfying. To many people, I think the question of social isolation and tangible COVID tragedies have become conflated.

Like others here, I have two kids, and our days and weekends are normally packed with activities. We spend most Sundays with extended family and lots of time socializing. I also commute 45 minutes each way to my job. I enjoy those things because they make my kids and spouse very happy but truthfully prefer my time at home. We will return to all of that once this social distancing ends but in the meantime, I am secretly enjoying the pause and the privilege that allows me to do so.

OP here - this is fascinating!! It's like this is how the world would be for (privileged, absolutely) introverts to thrive and so we're finally at peace. Regular life is built for extroverts, where us introverts don't feel like we can be our authentic selves. What an interesting dichotomy. I really do need to read that Quiet book.

Anonymous wrote:I have to admit that this post, and its supporters, stress me out. No doubt, it is nice to get paid and not have to commute or run around for crazy schedules but those were choices that you made for your life. If you didn't like, you could have changed it.
Your happiness is also built on other people's back, e.g. people that stock groceries, keep your lights on, pick up your trash etc.
Lastly, your posts triggers a fear in me that this continues on just because some people like the way things are now.

Anonymous wrote:Another extreme introvert here and I feel exactly the same way, OP. I think part of this is just an interesting aspect of being a ‘minority’ on the personality scale. For the first time, many extroverts are forced to spend their time doing the things that introverts prefer, and many don’t enjoy it. Our society is structured around the preferences of extroverts so this type of quiet is disconcerting to many people. Add to that the very real tragedies associated with this disease and it’s unacceptable to admit that this new pace of life is in any way satisfying. To many people, I think the question of social isolation and tangible COVID tragedies have become conflated.

Like others here, I have two kids, and our days and weekends are normally packed with activities. We spend most Sundays with extended family and lots of time socializing. I also commute 45 minutes each way to my job. I enjoy those things because they make my kids and spouse very happy but truthfully prefer my time at home. We will return to all of that once this social distancing ends but in the meantime, I am secretly enjoying the pause and the privilege that allows me to do so.

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel the exact same way. I could have written this. We could be friends and communicate just as pen pals sending fun postcards. I am with you 100 percent. And I can't say it aloud either, as all the piling-on from brats on this board demonstrates. My husband and I telework during the day and try our best to homeschool the kids (ages 10 and 12). Then evenings and weekends are outside time, movies, art, walks, etc. We usually live a very hectic life with lots of activities, school stuff, kid extracurriculars, events/parties, etc, and it's been this sweet glorious breather where we just get to enjoy each others' company and our home. But yeah, admitting you actually have a happy marriage, you actually like your kids and you take pleasure in the simple things like prepping the garden for spring, that you don'r care about regular-life things like new restaurants opening and music festivals -- for whatever reason people go nuclear over that. Anyway OP, it's our secret.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to “admit it”? Why can’t “we’re fine and are grateful for every day” be enough? Why does it need to be more than that? Do you need audience and attention for your “authentic” life to be...authentic?

The truth can be brief.

Yes, this: Do you need audience and attention for your “authentic” life? Seems so. Why is that? Your brand of authenticity seems to require validation. Which doesn’t seem real authentic if you ask me.

OP here. This is interesting - thank you. In thinking about it why I started this thread, the immediate need was how to navigate the multiple "gosh isn't this awful I'm so bored, my kids are crawling up the walls, etc." conversations my friends are having. In the beginning, I was just quiet because that wasn't my experience at all, but then I thought, well maybe I'll share how I'm feeling too, and then experienced that it was a conversation killer. So went back to being quiet, which I'm honestly fine with, I just thought it was curious why it was a friend connection thing to be miserable and felt sad that I wasn't able to connect with anyone on how I was feeling about it or explore why outside my own head.

Maybe less about validation and more about connecting and exploring? I'll think about your comment more though and make sure I'm not requiring validating of how I want to live. Thank you!

You’re like a vegan or the Paleo or the non-drinker who can’t simply say “it’s the right choice for me” but has to share every damn detail.

Why is it ok to go on and on about the mainstream choice (this sucks and we can't wait until we return to normal - reference the endless memes being created around this concept) but any sharing of minority opinions is "sharing every damn detail?"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same way but it's not something I say to others. I'm just quietly enjoying the family time.

OP here. This is what I’m curious about and wanting to put words too. Why is it not? Why is it fine to say this is miserable but not fine to say that I’m finding peace and gratitude? I definitely agree based on the conversations I’ve had and have stopped saying it. But why?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you have to “admit it”? Why can’t “we’re fine and are grateful for every day” be enough? Why does it need to be more than that? Do you need audience and attention for your “authentic” life to be...authentic?

The truth can be brief.

Yes, this: Do you need audience and attention for your “authentic” life? Seems so. Why is that? Your brand of authenticity seems to require validation. Which doesn’t seem real authentic if you ask me.

OP here. This is interesting - thank you. In thinking about it why I started this thread, the immediate need was how to navigate the multiple "gosh isn't this awful I'm so bored, my kids are crawling up the walls, etc." conversations my friends are having. In the beginning, I was just quiet because that wasn't my experience at all, but then I thought, well maybe I'll share how I'm feeling too, and then experienced that it was a conversation killer. So went back to being quiet, which I'm honestly fine with, I just thought it was curious why it was a friend connection thing to be miserable and felt sad that I wasn't able to connect with anyone on how I was feeling about it or explore why outside my own head.

Maybe less about validation and more about connecting and exploring? I'll think about your comment more though and make sure I'm not requiring validating of how I want to live. Thank you!

You’re like a vegan or the Paleo or the non-drinker who can’t simply say “it’s the right choice for me” but has to share every damn detail.