Some of these posters are being really mean.

I don’t know, sweetie. I have a 5 and 8 year old and would be really upset, too. I think you’re valid in your feelings and shouldn’t ignore them. Talk to a therapist and your pediatrician to get more info.

I’m not sure what my 8 year old would do in this situation but if the answer was get my phone and play games, I would be terrified and angry and feeling that I messed up. The 5 year old can be hit or miss IMO so wouldn’t jump to conclusions yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8 yr old needs some serious help. Really, OP. You can not excuse this away. That she just looked at you, shrugged, and took your phone to play games on it? That is MESSED UP.

+1 Stop excusing your child as “clueless”. An 8 yo should have been panicking that you were not responding. That their response was to take your phone and play games shows there is something terribly wrong with your child’s mental state. You really need to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist.

She IS seeing someone. She just doesn’t have common sense in these situations. Things need to be spelled out for her.

New poster.

OP, please be certain to tell whatever professional she's already seeing (psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor?) all about this situation and her reactions--both her taking the phone and also her remorse and upset when she realized later that you were actually in trouble. Her doctor needs to know all this ASAP. She may be at least upset and blaming herself, at worst traumatized if she's thinking "mommy could have died" etc. Things like this can loom larger for kids, and longer longer in their minds, than adults realize.

I would NOT talk about it with the doc in front of her, though. Ask the doctor for specific ideas about how to address this with DD and how to work with her on basic safety issues like when and how to call 911, etc.

The fact you keep repeating "she just doesn't have common sense in these situations" and variations on that theme is worrying; unless she has developmental issues that mean she really cannot comprehend danger, it's time she learned safety basics that are appropriate for eight year olds. It's not perfect of course--other kids her age very likely might not have realized you were really out cold, either! -- but the repeated "she lacks common sense" on your part seems to indicate you think she can't handle anything. Work with whoever she's "seeing" to empower her with a set of steps she can remember if something goes wrong. Written steps if need be, kept in a specific, unchanging place or whatever. (Shout at the person who is not responding; gently shake the shoulder; call 911; the house address is written down and posted on the wall by the phone; etc.) She probably is scared about what happened and could use some confidence that can come from having her own special steps to follow and rehearsing when to use them.

I dont want to read thru 7 pages. But OP and everyone shoild teach their kids that if an adult suddenly falls down, or is not able yo respond when spoken to, you call 911 immediately and say “My mommy/grandma/nanny fell down and can’t talk.”. I had an older babysitter and parents and worried about a heart attack or stroke while they were caring for my kids, but really that could happen to anyone.

This is not normal by ANY stretch. Both kids need psych help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Um. At five, my child would (and did) call 911. Something is super off here. And you have an older child who was there as well? Seriously, OP. Not normal. I would have them evaluated ASAP.

I doubt my 5 year old would realize that I was unconscious rather than playing a game. That's what it sounds like both of OP's children thought. That she was playing.

I’ve been hurt for maybe 30 seconds before. Both of my kids notice that I’m
Not playing within about 7 seconds. I would be very concerned as well, OP. I’d get them evaluated. I hope you are better now.

Severe family issues here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8 yr old needs some serious help. Really, OP. You can not excuse this away. That she just looked at you, shrugged, and took your phone to play games on it? That is MESSED UP.

+1 Stop excusing your child as “clueless”. An 8 yo should have been panicking that you were not responding. That their response was to take your phone and play games shows there is something terribly wrong with your child’s mental state. You really need to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist.

She IS seeing someone. She just doesn’t have common sense in these situations. Things need to be spelled out for her.

This isn’t about common sense, lack of social skills, anxiety or whatever other excuse you’re now giving for the 8 yo. This child has zero empathy and concern that you were unconscious. That is frightening and a strong indicator of sociopathy. You need to contact psychiatrist that your daughter sees immediately and discuss this with them.

Or she didn’t understand... because she’s autistic.

It would still be very unusual for a child with autism to act the way OP’s 8 yo did. All signs point to a serious evaluation of the child to determine why at 8, they have no empathy.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Knowing my kids, my best guess is that they thought I was playing, but also I am sure they must have had some inkling that something was wrong. My older child, while brilliant, lacks basic common sense and is oblivious and I can’t rely on the child to do things that make sense in unusual situations. My 5yo, while sweet, can be a wrecking ball and plays rough. If I had to guess, I think there was a part of him that was worried that I was not ok, and he was mildly panicking to get a reaction out of me by doing more and more violent things to me, while still acting like he was playing.

You’re in denial about your children. I’m sorry. You need family therapy.

OP do you have (or have you had) Psoriasis on your feet?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8 yr old needs some serious help. Really, OP. You can not excuse this away. That she just looked at you, shrugged, and took your phone to play games on it? That is MESSED UP.

+1 Stop excusing your child as “clueless”. An 8 yo should have been panicking that you were not responding. That their response was to take your phone and play games shows there is something terribly wrong with your child’s mental state. You really need to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist.

She IS seeing someone. She just doesn’t have common sense in these situations. Things need to be spelled out for her.

This isn’t about common sense, lack of social skills, anxiety or whatever other excuse you’re now giving for the 8 yo. This child has zero empathy and concern that you were unconscious. That is frightening and a strong indicator of sociopathy. You need to contact psychiatrist that your daughter sees immediately and discuss this with them.

Or she didn’t understand... because she’s autistic.

NP. Please stop with the internet diagnosis. Do you know any autistic kids? Didn't think so.

This is some messed up sh*t!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband ever hit you? Have your children witnessed him hitting you?

I also agree that the reaction of the 8 year old is off and I wonder if she’s learned to not intervene.

The entire scenario and its details are hard to believe.

All of this, but especially the bolded.

+2

Oh jeez! Husband has never hit me or the children.

Then you’d better come up with a more plausible story for how you got the black eye if you plan to leave the house over the next week.

why would I make up THIS story to explain my black eye?? Like I really want to tell everyone that my 5yo choked me out and then beat me up while I was unconscious?

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8 yr old needs some serious help. Really, OP. You can not excuse this away. That she just looked at you, shrugged, and took your phone to play games on it? That is MESSED UP.

+1 Stop excusing your child as “clueless”. An 8 yo should have been panicking that you were not responding. That their response was to take your phone and play games shows there is something terribly wrong with your child’s mental state. You really need to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist.

She IS seeing someone. She just doesn’t have common sense in these situations. Things need to be spelled out for her.

This isn’t about common sense, lack of social skills, anxiety or whatever other excuse you’re now giving for the 8 yo. This child has zero empathy and concern that you were unconscious. That is frightening and a strong indicator of sociopathy. You need to contact psychiatrist that your daughter sees immediately and discuss this with them.

Or she didn’t understand... because she’s autistic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your 8 yr old needs some serious help. Really, OP. You can not excuse this away. That she just looked at you, shrugged, and took your phone to play games on it? That is MESSED UP.

+1 Stop excusing your child as “clueless”. An 8 yo should have been panicking that you were not responding. That their response was to take your phone and play games shows there is something terribly wrong with your child’s mental state. You really need to have your child evaluated by a psychiatrist.

She IS seeing someone. She just doesn’t have common sense in these situations. Things need to be spelled out for her.

This isn’t about common sense, lack of social skills, anxiety or whatever other excuse you’re now giving for the 8 yo. This child has zero empathy and concern that you were unconscious. That is frightening and a strong indicator of sociopathy. You need to contact psychiatrist that your daughter sees immediately and discuss this with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has your husband ever hit you? Have your children witnessed him hitting you?

I also agree that the reaction of the 8 year old is off and I wonder if she’s learned to not intervene.

The entire scenario and its details are hard to believe.

All of this, but especially the bolded.

+2

Oh jeez! Husband has never hit me or the children.

Just roughhoused to the point that your DS gets hurt, starts crying and then gets yelled at?

Ok I kinda see your point. But roughhousing for fun when the kids are begging for it and physical abuse are two very different things.

I don’t know— depending on the issues with boundaries and consent, I think they CAN be, in some cases, more like points on a spectrum.