Anonymous
01/27/2020 14:27
Subject: Re:Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:OP sorry but based on your description of applying to 19 schools I can tell your child does not really go to a "top private" bc at Sidwell, GDS and the Cathedral schools they limit the number of school you apply to.
I thought they also didn't have honors distinctions and were de-emphasizing APs.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 14:17
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
This information is not helpful here, and insulting the PP who used the phrase serves no purpose, even if backed up by every Dean on the planet and the American Psychiatric Institute. All it does is discourages that person form participating in this open forum where they can share and learn. "You" being "Right" is irrelevant, and in this case damaging and negative. Don't address whether people agree with you or not -- address why it is appropriate or helpful to discuss.
I do not understand why people enjoy shaming others, especially in an anonymous forum. It's a sad and pathetic quality.
(see how that feels? That's what you did to someone else who was only sharing their experience)
DP. I think it actually is helpful here.....people occasionally need some feedback to help them gain the proper perspective.
I guess this is where we disagree. I don't think it is your place to help someone "gain the proper perspective" unless they ask. Being overweight is bad. Should we tell people they are fat if they ask our opinion on which restaurant to eat in?
The PP who started it was rude IMHO. "Listen to yourself." was the entirety of the post. Are you claiming that poster was offering "some feedback to help them gain the proper perspective"? More likely just being a petulant, self-important jerk.
The second poster had a bit of empathy but included "I was cringing a bit inside reading it."
Regardless, I believe the idea that the use of this phrase is some kind of Freudian laser-like insight of an inappropriately involved parent is ridiculous.
I will stop here and wish you all a good day.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 14:07
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
This information is not helpful here, and insulting the PP who used the phrase serves no purpose, even if backed up by every Dean on the planet and the American Psychiatric Institute. All it does is discourages that person form participating in this open forum where they can share and learn. "You" being "Right" is irrelevant, and in this case damaging and negative. Don't address whether people agree with you or not -- address why it is appropriate or helpful to discuss.
I do not understand why people enjoy shaming others, especially in an anonymous forum. It's a sad and pathetic quality.
(see how that feels? That's what you did to someone else who was only sharing their experience)
DP. I think it actually is helpful here.....people occasionally need some feedback to help them gain the proper perspective.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 14:01
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
It’s bad enough for a 17 year old not to get into their top choice without the worry of their mom not getting into her first choice.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 14:00
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
No one is sharing PP... it’s just a reminder to unclench. Its damaging to the kids when the parents are like this.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:58
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
And the Dean of Admissions at Wellesley College:
"Parents need to separate their own goals from the goals the children might have for themselves. Sometimes parents are ambitious for their children in ways the children aren't. I have seen too many families come through my door saying, "We are applying to Wellesley this year!" I think, "No, you are not. Your daughter is."
https://www.salon.com/2000/12/15/college_admission/
Since you feel compelled to repeat, I'll just copy and paste with some bolding and one spelling correction:
This information is not helpful here, and insulting the PP who used the phrase serves no purpose, even if backed up by every Dean on the planet and the American Psychiatric Institute. All it does is discourages that person from participating in this open forum where they can share and learn. "You" being "Right" is irrelevant, and in this case damaging and negative. Don't address whether people agree with you or not -- address why it is appropriate or helpful to discuss.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:56
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
And the Dean of Admissions at Wellesley College:
"Parents need to separate their own goals from the goals the children might have for themselves. Sometimes parents are ambitious for their children in ways the children aren't. I have seen too many families come through my door saying, "We are applying to Wellesley this year!" I think, "No, you are not. Your daughter is."
https://www.salon.com/2000/12/15/college_admission/
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:53
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
This information is not helpful here, and insulting the PP who used the phrase serves no purpose, even if backed up by every Dean on the planet and the American Psychiatric Institute. All it does is discourages that person form participating in this open forum where they can share and learn. "You" being "Right" is irrelevant, and in this case damaging and negative. Don't address whether people agree with you or not -- address why it is appropriate or helpful to discuss.
I do not understand why people enjoy shaming others, especially in an anonymous forum. It's a sad and pathetic quality.
(see how that feels? That's what you did to someone else who was only sharing their experience)
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:47
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
So do the folks at Tufts:
https://admissions.tufts.edu/blogs/inside-admissions/post/for-parents-to-ed-or-not-to-ed/
I have adult friends who say “We are applying early decision, we just don’t know where yet.” I have also spoken with parents absolutely convinced their son must apply early or he will have no chance of being admitted. Please remember -“we” are not going to college. Your daughter or son is heading off to college. As parents we can live vicariously through our children but not tether ourselves to them. It is the time to let your son take flight and soar. Our job, as parents of Early Decision applicants or Regular Decision applicants, is to be sure to articulate any non-negotiable restrictions; like geography – distance from home, financial commitments – how much the family can afford to put toward college expenses, etc. Then we need to take a deep breath and step back.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:43
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."
Sorry you wrongfully accused me of not reading an article that I did read.
Sorry you desperately went back to the article to find evidence that was not there.
Sorry you feel the gender of the person making the statement matters.
Sorry you feel that petulant BS is "relevant, informed advice".
Mostly I am sorry you feel that those petulant comments made in this forum (I am assuming by you) would be helpful or appropriate even if they were true.
Good luck with your applications!
I am a parent with two in already. I come here to help -- and apparently, to correct the massively un-helpful.
I see. Well, then, that makes it much less icky.
I am not sure your strategy of doubling-down is very effective. You clearly have bad intent. If you find a statement of good intent "icky" then add that to the list of things I am sympathetic to you about above.
Good luck with whatever it is you are trying to accomplish.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:38
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."
Sorry you wrongfully accused me of not reading an article that I did read.
Sorry you desperately went back to the article to find evidence that was not there.
Sorry you feel the gender of the person making the statement matters.
Sorry you feel that petulant BS is "relevant, informed advice".
Mostly I am sorry you feel that those petulant comments made in this forum (I am assuming by you) would be helpful or appropriate even if they were true.
Good luck with your applications!
I am a parent with two in already. I come here to help -- and apparently, to correct the massively un-helpful.
I see. Well, then, that makes it much less icky.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:36
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."
Sorry you wrongfully accused me of not reading an article that I did read.
Sorry you desperately went back to the article to find evidence that was not there.
Sorry you feel the gender of the person making the statement matters.
Sorry you feel that petulant BS is "relevant, informed advice".
Mostly I am sorry you feel that those petulant comments made in this forum (I am assuming by you) would be helpful or appropriate even if they were true.
Good luck with your applications!
I am a parent with two in already. I come here to help -- and apparently, to correct the massively un-helpful.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:35
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."
Sorry you wrongfully accused me of not reading an article that I did read.
Sorry you desperately went back to the article to find evidence that was not there.
Sorry you feel the gender of the person making the statement matters.
Sorry you feel that petulant BS is "relevant, informed advice".
Mostly I am sorry you feel that those petulant comments made in this forum (I am assuming by you) would be helpful or appropriate even if they were true.
Good luck with your applications!
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:34
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."
Sorry you wrongfully accused me of not reading an article that I did read.
Sorry you desperately went back to the article to find evidence that was not there.
Sorry you feel the gender of the person making the statement matters.
Sorry you feel that petulant BS is "relevant, informed advice".
Mostly I am sorry you feel that those petulant comments made in this forum (I am assuming by you) would be helpful or appropriate even if they were true.
Anonymous
01/27/2020 13:25
Subject: Where do A students from top local privates go?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Stop with the "we" bashing. It's dumb.
It's a quarter million dollar family decision and kids are not equipped to handle it alone. You guys aren't cute, aren't clever, and aren't exposing some Freudian-level genius analysis except some revelations about yourselves.
It's a completely legitimate way of speaking used by many normal, kind, practical, parents.
And no, I am not the PP.
So stop.
UVA Associate Dean of Admissions begs to differ.
http://uvaapplication.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-role-of-parents-in-process.html
Then he is a petulent jerk about the issue of the use of a phrase also.
She, which you'd know if you took the time to read it rather than have a knee-jerk defensive reaction. Good luck with your applications.
Show me where in that article you can tell the gender of "Dean J" without clicking on a different page.
Sorry you're not curious enough to learn more about people in a position to provide relevant, informed advice. Instead, you went straight to "petulent."