Those mums sound defensive and projecting.

Maybe they had a bad bonus year or something and don't have enough money.

I have never heard of wealthy people not giving their kids Christmas gifts. IME, they tend to give expensive gifts!

So it sounds like parents spoiling their kids with things the parents themselves want (like the kid really cares they’re seeing Santa in a historic hotel) and then trying to make up for it by not giving toys from Santa. Parents want credit for everything.

We have a high HHI and I’m not big on gifts for the kids. They get one stand out gift to share (same sex, less than 2 years apart) that is around $200 and some accessories. For me it’s mostly about all the clutter and that they have extended family giving a lot. They are also young so things may change but I definitely don’t feel the same desire as my mother (who grew up lower middle class and was middle/upper middle) to give me 30 presents under the tree. She wrapped up socks and underwear. We splurge on a lot in December, things like fancy Santa breakfasts at historic hotels, expensive play tickets, travel, the Nutcracker, etc. My kids are so ridiculously privileged in their day to day life I just don’t feel the need to shower then with toys on the holidays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, financial security means you can purchase those wants whenever. We typically give one present and truly see the holidays asa time to enjoy being with our family and friends. A lot of charitable giving is central to our celebrations.

We can, but we don't. Most "wants" in our house are met with "put it on the birthday/Christmas list." Then gifts, much appreciated for having been anticipated and actually wanted and not crossed off the list during the time of first desire to receipt, are exchanged during our holiday, when we truly enjoy being with family and friends and engaging in acts of service and charitable giving together.

We do the same here. (Although I grew up poor, so I guess I’m low-brow?) I credit this for not making my kids brats. They know not to whine in a store for something; IMO kids who get stuff all the time want things all the time. The list of desires will never be sated.

I don’t know if this is related to it, but my kids wants remain fairly constant some months out about what they really want. A few months out from Christmas, our daughter was asking for a specific doll for Christmas. It literally was the only item she had asked for, and did not deviate. Same goes for birthday, Halloween costumes. Could just be their personalities too, but I suspect the “put it on your ______ list,” gives them time to really distill what they want.

True. I married into money and their Christmases are very conservative compared to what I experienced growing up poor.

I agree 100%. A pile of cheap plastic junk (with nary a book in sight) screams low class and uneducated to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw pics on Facebook of my poorest friends tree. She doesn’t work, has 4 kids with no child support. Lives off of food stamps and welfare. Her tree had about 300 presents under it . Not sure what’s in those packages yet.

They are probably all from 5 Below. It’s not like they are AirPods and apple watches.

I've given my kids plenty of things I picked up for free off of Craigslist in lean years, and yes wrapped a lot of "junk" from the Dollar Store. My kids have had good Christmases every year and often had no idea how I pulled it off.

Yes, these gifts could be from Salvation Army donations and other little things. My parents went through a rough couple of years when I was little and we always had tons of presents under the tree , some donations from school or church and some cheap things from Ames and Value City. My mom would also wrap a pack of socks as a gift, a pack of underwear as another gift,etc. so we would feel like we were getting a lot of things.

But that’s the whole point. Why are you conditioning them that Christmas must involve “a lot of things”?

I had almost forgotten a very tight Christmas we had several years ago, but it came up on my facebook memories. My kids were young 3-9 years old and we had hardly any money. Very few gifts under the tree. Looking at the photo on Facebook it seems so sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm so glad my kids are getting a low-brow Christmas then. Upper class kids are "over" getting presents because they get them year-round? Sad.

Not so, my dc would love a room full of gifts! We choose to have them see the holidays as a time to do more for others and appreciate your loved ones. It’s a value choice that anyone can make regardless of wealth. My sister piles the room full of presents and it is clearly a small esteem issue she has, something she has passed onto her dc.

You sound judgmental and awful...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw pics on Facebook of my poorest friends tree. She doesn’t work, has 4 kids with no child support. Lives off of food stamps and welfare. Her tree had about 300 presents under it . Not sure what’s in those packages yet.

They are probably all from 5 Below. It’s not like they are AirPods and apple watches.

I've given my kids plenty of things I picked up for free off of Craigslist in lean years, and yes wrapped a lot of "junk" from the Dollar Store. My kids have had good Christmases every year and often had no idea how I pulled it off.

Yes, these gifts could be from Salvation Army donations and other little things. My parents went through a rough couple of years when I was little and we always had tons of presents under the tree , some donations from school or church and some cheap things from Ames and Value City. My mom would also wrap a pack of socks as a gift, a pack of underwear as another gift,etc. so we would feel like we were getting a lot of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw pics on Facebook of my poorest friends tree. She doesn’t work, has 4 kids with no child support. Lives off of food stamps and welfare. Her tree had about 300 presents under it . Not sure what’s in those packages yet.

They are probably all from 5 Below. It’s not like they are AirPods and apple watches.

I've given my kids plenty of things I picked up for free off of Craigslist in lean years, and yes wrapped a lot of "junk" from the Dollar Store. My kids have had good Christmases every year and often had no idea how I pulled it off.

Anonymous wrote:I just saw pics on Facebook of my poorest friends tree. She doesn’t work, has 4 kids with no child support. Lives off of food stamps and welfare. Her tree had about 300 presents under it . Not sure what’s in those packages yet.

They are probably all from 5 Below. It’s not like they are AirPods and apple watches.

I just saw pics on Facebook of my poorest friends tree. She doesn’t work, has 4 kids with no child support. Lives off of food stamps and welfare. Her tree had about 300 presents under it . Not sure what’s in those packages yet.

Pp here. Their many presents come mostly from friends for their birthday and grandparents on Christmas.

We have so many electronics that there is no novelty. They don’t really expect anything.

My 8yo wants some special putty for xmas.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are growing up with so much more than I did. I don’t buy them much for Christmas as I think they already have so much. I am on a crusade to make sure my kids are not bratty even though they have pretty cushy lives.

Wouldn’t it make better sense to stop spoiling them year round rather than just on Christmas? And then trying to make middle class families feel bad for treating their children one day a year?

I don’t spoil them. That is the entire point. I don’t care what others do. Knock yourself out with a million presents.

I try very hard not to spoil my children.

They are spoiled with experiences but not toys. They do get a ton of presents on their birthday and bigger items for Christmas. Sadly big items don’t seem big anymore.