Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 16:45     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SM here. Difference is I work, but DH had two kids that I raised and we had a kid. 1/3 of half goes to each kid and half goes to my bio kid. I’ve been upfront with DH that is what I’ll do if he dies before me. I’m not penalizing my kid for having me as a mom.


This is what I am doing.


Gross


+1
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 16:39     Subject: Re:Step Parents and Spending
Lesson is that as a wife, I need to make sure what I want for our money is written down legally and not trust that your spouse will follow your wishes once you’re gone. Things change in the future and your wishes may not be realized as you had planned.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 15:26     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You got $250,000 and you're complaining because your step mother is giving HER son money from HER share of the will. She may not have worked outside of the home since you were 14, but she certainly worked inside of the home taking on your dad and his two kids, loving you, raising you, and cleaning up after you.

You are incredibly ungrateful.


OP was 14 when her baby brother was born. I bet stepmom got a LOT of free babysitting from OP. Her stepmom lucked out in having a live-in babysitter to make her life easier. Now she’s doubling down on taking advantage of OP and her brother to direct all the inheritance to her biokid. What a user.


You sound unhinged.


Really? You’re invested in the story of a selfless stepmom “taking care of a teenager.” I’m presenting the more likely possibility that the teens helped their stepmom a LOT in taking care of her new baby. It wouldn’t surprise me if the teens were treated like unpaid au pairs.

I’m sorry you get so upset if someone challenges the version you’ve convinced yourself is the right one.


NP. My dad remarried when I was 16 to a woman that had a 5 year old son. I can guarantee she received hours and hours and hours of free childcare from me. I wouldn't say I was taken advantage of, but from the ages of 16-20 my stepmother got looooots more out of our relationship than I did.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:54     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You got $250,000 and you're complaining because your step mother is giving HER son money from HER share of the will. She may not have worked outside of the home since you were 14, but she certainly worked inside of the home taking on your dad and his two kids, loving you, raising you, and cleaning up after you.

You are incredibly ungrateful.


OP was 14 when her baby brother was born. I bet stepmom got a LOT of free babysitting from OP. Her stepmom lucked out in having a live-in babysitter to make her life easier. Now she’s doubling down on taking advantage of OP and her brother to direct all the inheritance to her biokid. What a user.


You sound unhinged.


Really? You’re invested in the story of a selfless stepmom “taking care of a teenager.” I’m presenting the more likely possibility that the teens helped their stepmom a LOT in taking care of her new baby. It wouldn’t surprise me if the teens were treated like unpaid au pairs.

I’m sorry you get so upset if someone challenges the version you’ve convinced yourself is the right one.

Keep in mind that the half brother also got 250K when his dad died. It sounds like the dad wanted to treat his children equally. Stepmom clearly wanted to give more to her bio-kid and she’s making that clear in her actions.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:38     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SM here. Difference is I work, but DH had two kids that I raised and we had a kid. 1/3 of half goes to each kid and half goes to my bio kid. I’ve been upfront with DH that is what I’ll do if he dies before me. I’m not penalizing my kid for having me as a mom.


This is what I am doing.


Gross

Why?
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:17     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You got $250,000 and you're complaining because your step mother is giving HER son money from HER share of the will. She may not have worked outside of the home since you were 14, but she certainly worked inside of the home taking on your dad and his two kids, loving you, raising you, and cleaning up after you.

You are incredibly ungrateful.


OP was 14 when her baby brother was born. I bet stepmom got a LOT of free babysitting from OP. Her stepmom lucked out in having a live-in babysitter to make her life easier. Now she’s doubling down on taking advantage of OP and her brother to direct all the inheritance to her biokid. What a user.


You sound unhinged.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:16     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
OP, you are getting very worked up about 2nd hand information.

How old was your half-brother when your dad died? Is it possible he did not receive the 250k as a lump sum?

Anyway, the man left money to each of his 3 kids and the rest to his wife. What his wife does with her share is her business.

If it helps, exactly what you are describing happens within families that are not blended, too. Parents routinely subsidize children unfairly and unevenly.

Furthermore, your mom and dad could have easily both lived a very long time exhausting most of their estate, leaving you with nothing upon their deaths. This happens all the time too.

The fact that you got 250k relatively young when it could be of the most use to you is something you need to be grateful for and let this go.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:10     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:You got $250,000 and you're complaining because your step mother is giving HER son money from HER share of the will. She may not have worked outside of the home since you were 14, but she certainly worked inside of the home taking on your dad and his two kids, loving you, raising you, and cleaning up after you.

You are incredibly ungrateful.


OP was 14 when her baby brother was born. I bet stepmom got a LOT of free babysitting from OP. Her stepmom lucked out in having a live-in babysitter to make her life easier. Now she’s doubling down on taking advantage of OP and her brother to direct all the inheritance to her biokid. What a user.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:10     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think more than anything, he emotional aspect it’s what stings. If I lost my mom, and thought I had unconditional love from my stepmom - and then found out it wasn’t fair? It would hurt. A lot.

It doesn’t mean the SM is wrong, but it is absolutely something that’s insensitive and divisive. And it doesn’t have to be about giving $1000/mo to one child our of your three. It’s giving anything to one child that you don’t give to the other. Parenting 101.

If SM had a vacation but only invited her bio kid, etc - she’s wrong. She would be wrong if she were SM, biomom, grandmom, adoptive mom.

It’s the principle of family inclusion, ESPECIALLY since OP has lost BOTH bio parents before 40. And your Mom is going to start excluding affection, gifts, etc? Again, people have a right to do what they want in this case. But that doesn’t make it morally right.


It's a great lie that a woman will give equal affection to her own flesh and blood baby and a girl who was 12 already. No they aren't equal in the stepmother's eyes, what made you think they ever were?


If I were in this situation it would make a lot of difference to me that the 12 year old's mother had died, leaving her vulnerable and in need. This would make me offer a lot more to her emotionally than if she had a living mother.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 14:06     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SM here. Difference is I work, but DH had two kids that I raised and we had a kid. 1/3 of half goes to each kid and half goes to my bio kid. I’ve been upfront with DH that is what I’ll do if he dies before me. I’m not penalizing my kid for having me as a mom.


This is what I am doing.


Gross
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 13:50     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Now comes the stay at home gold digger contingency...

You sound broke.


lol. I got more liquid than you'll have in a lifetime.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 13:44     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:Now comes the stay at home gold digger contingency...

You sound broke.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 13:43     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Now comes the stay at home gold digger contingency...
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 13:40     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
You got $250,000 and you're complaining because your step mother is giving HER son money from HER share of the will. She may not have worked outside of the home since you were 14, but she certainly worked inside of the home taking on your dad and his two kids, loving you, raising you, and cleaning up after you.

You are incredibly ungrateful.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2019 13:37     Subject: Step Parents and Spending
Anonymous wrote:Are you seriously complaining after receiving $250K? Seriously?


Try and keep up. There was no complaint about 250k. The complaint was that a man died and one child received a lot more of his money than did the other two.