Anonymous wrote:OP with update:

I talked to my husband and he was a little more accommodating this time. Kids went up at 8, showered and bed, mil was gone by 9:30, so I guess it was a compromise. I’m happy with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to have to sit prisoner in my room until she leaves. Why should I have to? And no, I don’t like parading around in pajamas with wet hair and makeup off and whatever else, that’s my preference. Why shouldn’t I be allowed that? I want to come downstairs, make a tea, sit in the living room, maybe watch a show. Why isn’t the hour I’m upstairs getting the kids to bed enough alone time? And if it’s not, why can’t they take it somewhere else! Also the kids do go to bed reluctantly because they are laughing and seems to be having fun that they think they are missing out on. It’s hard to sleep with dad and grandma laughing right below you. Why isn’t that enough time? Why can’t she leave?

Good grief, you are a diva.

+1000. With a stick up her butt. And no, I’m not a MIL.

You both sound like you have zero boundaries and no manners.

Asking guests to leave at bedtime on a weeknight is pretty standard. Overstaying your welcome every single week is obnoxious and entitled behavior.

Except there are two adults in the house and one doesn’t seem to think she’s overstaying her welcome. Having manners includes recognizing your not the only one with a say in your marriage and home. And btw, it’s every other week, so she gets 28 other days a month to walk around in her pjs and wet hair.

So you’re saying if two adults decide to be rude it’s less obnoxious?
The DH and his mom being jerks together doesn’t make their behavior any less rude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a tricky situation between DH and his mom. We have a long standing date that she comes every other Monday for dinner and to visit her grandchildren. I already extend bedtime to make the visit longer, but the problem is bedtime. I will tell the kids it’s time for baths and bed and have them say their goodbyes to nana, then I say my goodbyes and then we head upstairs to have showers. It always happens that when we get back out, DH is still down there talking with his mom and she hasn’t left. The kids get riled up again and want to go back downstairs to nana. She keeps saying she’s leaving, but she will sit there talking to DH or fooling around on her phone, stuff like that. I have tried starting bath earlier, so they can stay up with her, but then when it’s bed time she still doesn’t want to leave and the kids still want to go downstairs because nana is here. DH doesn’t see the issue once a week, but I’m tired too and when it’s bedtime it’s bedtime. I want to settle down too and I can’t when I’m wrangling two kids. She won’t take a hint either. If I have DH come upstairs to help me, we come back down and there she is even though she said she was heading out I don’t know what to do. Help me before she comes tonight!

Maybe this is her special time with her son?? You are getting upset but, get free service from her weekly. That seems mean to me. Just tell your kids that it is time for Dad and Grandmom to talk and just like you like to talk to ( you) their dad likes to chat with his mom.
Maybe your MIL is lonely? Just control your kids and keep them upstairs or hire change your date night.

Anonymous wrote:I have a tricky situation between DH and his mom. We have a long standing date that she comes every other Monday for dinner and to visit her grandchildren. I already extend bedtime to make the visit longer, but the problem is bedtime. I will tell the kids it’s time for baths and bed and have them say their goodbyes to nana, then I say my goodbyes and then we head upstairs to have showers. It always happens that when we get back out, DH is still down there talking with his mom and she hasn’t left. The kids get riled up again and want to go back downstairs to nana. She keeps saying she’s leaving, but she will sit there talking to DH or fooling around on her phone, stuff like that. I have tried starting bath earlier, so they can stay up with her, but then when it’s bed time she still doesn’t want to leave and the kids still want to go downstairs because nana is here. DH doesn’t see the issue once a week, but I’m tired too and when it’s bedtime it’s bedtime. I want to settle down too and I can’t when I’m wrangling two kids. She won’t take a hint either. If I have DH come upstairs to help me, we come back down and there she is even though she said she was heading out I don’t know what to do. Help me before she comes tonight!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to have to sit prisoner in my room until she leaves. Why should I have to? And no, I don’t like parading around in pajamas with wet hair and makeup off and whatever else, that’s my preference. Why shouldn’t I be allowed that? I want to come downstairs, make a tea, sit in the living room, maybe watch a show. Why isn’t the hour I’m upstairs getting the kids to bed enough alone time? And if it’s not, why can’t they take it somewhere else! Also the kids do go to bed reluctantly because they are laughing and seems to be having fun that they think they are missing out on. It’s hard to sleep with dad and grandma laughing right below you. Why isn’t that enough time? Why can’t she leave?

Good grief, you are a diva.

+1000. With a stick up her butt. And no, I’m not a MIL.

You both sound like you have zero boundaries and no manners.

Asking guests to leave at bedtime on a weeknight is pretty standard. Overstaying your welcome every single week is obnoxious and entitled behavior.

Except there are two adults in the house and one doesn’t seem to think she’s overstaying her welcome. Having manners includes recognizing your not the only one with a say in your marriage and home. And btw, it’s every other week, so she gets 28 other days a month to walk around in her pjs and wet hair.

So you’re saying if two adults decide to be rude it’s less obnoxious?
The DH and his mom being jerks together doesn’t make their behavior any less rude.

Where is it decreed in stone that staying and chatting a bit after the kids go to bed is rude? Not everyone thinks the same way. If I had a guest and wanted to keep chatting and my DH didn’t, he would say goodnight and go upstairs and I would stay and talk. The reverse would also be true. The OP has decided 9 is a cutoff and it’s rude to stay longer. Her DH obviously doesn’t believe in this same cutoff. She needs to discuss it with him and figure out what each is willing to compromise to on this whopping two whole nights a month.

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to have to sit prisoner in my room until she leaves. Why should I have to? And no, I don’t like parading around in pajamas with wet hair and makeup off and whatever else, that’s my preference. Why shouldn’t I be allowed that? I want to come downstairs, make a tea, sit in the living room, maybe watch a show. Why isn’t the hour I’m upstairs getting the kids to bed enough alone time? And if it’s not, why can’t they take it somewhere else! Also the kids do go to bed reluctantly because they are laughing and seems to be having fun that they think they are missing out on. It’s hard to sleep with dad and grandma laughing right below you. Why isn’t that enough time? Why can’t she leave?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to have to sit prisoner in my room until she leaves. Why should I have to? And no, I don’t like parading around in pajamas with wet hair and makeup off and whatever else, that’s my preference. Why shouldn’t I be allowed that? I want to come downstairs, make a tea, sit in the living room, maybe watch a show. Why isn’t the hour I’m upstairs getting the kids to bed enough alone time? And if it’s not, why can’t they take it somewhere else! Also the kids do go to bed reluctantly because they are laughing and seems to be having fun that they think they are missing out on. It’s hard to sleep with dad and grandma laughing right below you. Why isn’t that enough time? Why can’t she leave?

Good grief, you are a diva.

+1000. With a stick up her butt. And no, I’m not a MIL.

You both sound like you have zero boundaries and no manners.

Asking guests to leave at bedtime on a weeknight is pretty standard. Overstaying your welcome every single week is obnoxious and entitled behavior.

Except there are two adults in the house and one doesn’t seem to think she’s overstaying her welcome. Having manners includes recognizing your not the only one with a say in your marriage and home. And btw, it’s every other week, so she gets 28 other days a month to walk around in her pjs and wet hair.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t want to have to sit prisoner in my room until she leaves. Why should I have to? And no, I don’t like parading around in pajamas with wet hair and makeup off and whatever else, that’s my preference. Why shouldn’t I be allowed that? I want to come downstairs, make a tea, sit in the living room, maybe watch a show. Why isn’t the hour I’m upstairs getting the kids to bed enough alone time? And if it’s not, why can’t they take it somewhere else! Also the kids do go to bed reluctantly because they are laughing and seems to be having fun that they think they are missing out on. It’s hard to sleep with dad and grandma laughing right below you. Why isn’t that enough time? Why can’t she leave?

Good grief, you are a diva.

+1000. With a stick up her butt. And no, I’m not a MIL.

You both sound like you have zero boundaries and no manners.

Asking guests to leave at bedtime on a weeknight is pretty standard. Overstaying your welcome every single week is obnoxious and entitled behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's time for your dh to start taking the kids to Grandma's house every Monday evening.

Great solution!

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's time for your dh to start taking the kids to Grandma's house every Monday evening.